Clarity Is Key

| | Right | January 23, 2009

Me: “Hi sir, how are you today? Is there something I can get for you?”

Customer: “Fish.”

Me: “Well, you sure came to the right place. What kind of fish would you like?”

Customer: “Dead fish.”

Me: “…”

1 Thumbs
2,037
VOTES

When In Doubt, Improvise

| | Right | January 23, 2009

(Some days when there aren’t enough lifeguards, we have to close off the deep end of the wave pool – but, we aren’t allowed to tell guests that reason.)

Customer: “What’s with the buoy line?”

Me: “It’s there to keep you from entering the deep end.”

Customer: “Well, duh! Why is it there?”

Me: “Oh, the deep end is closed right now.”

Customer: “That’s so f****** stupid! There’s no reason the deep end should be closed!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. The water is…broken.”

Customer: “Oh, sorry then. Have a nice day.”

1 Thumbs
5,367
VOTES

It’s All In The Details

| | Right | January 23, 2009

Me: “Thank you for calling ****, how may I help you?”

Customer: “Hello, I had a High Tea a few days ago at your place. Could I speak to your manager?”

Me: “Yes, but perhaps I could help you as well?”

Customer: “No, I would like to speak with your manager.”

Me: “All right, one moment please.” *hands over the phone to the manager*

Manager: “Hello, what could I help you with?”

Customer: “I’m sorry, but I really have to complain about this: a few days ago we had this High Tea at your place, but the napkins weren’t good.”

Manager: “What was wrong with the napkins?”

Customer: “The napkins weren’t folded like in the photograph in the restaurant information folder we got.”

Manager: Uh…I’m sorry?”

Customer: “They weren’t folded like in the picture!”

Manager: “Was there anything else that didn’t go well?”

Customer: *pauses* “No, the rest of it was actually wonderful. The cakes and sandwiches were lovely, and the service was really good. There was nothing wrong with that.”

Manager: “…”

1 Thumbs
2,385
VOTES

Customer Of The Week: The Smoker

| | Right | January 23, 2009

Customer Of The Week:  The Smoker
Created by our friends at Quitting Time

Original Story

Opposite Day Strikes Again

| | Right | January 22, 2009

Me: *on the phone* “**** footwear, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, we’re on a trip up north, and are going to drive right past you guys in a couple of hours. We’re wondering if you had a particular shoe in stock? I even have the item number so you can look it up.”

Me: “Wonderful!” *looking up item* “I’m sorry ma’am, that particular shoe is only carried in our catalog.”

Customer: “Good, well, we don’t want to stop if you don’t have them there.”

Me: “Yeah…well, I’m sorry to say we don’t have them here. The best we could do is order them for you.”

Customer: “Ok, great, I’m a size 8, so if you could just put those on hold that’d be great. We’re on a trip and I just want to make a quick stop to pick them up.”

Me: “I’m…sorry, ma’am, maybe you didn’t hear me. We do not have those shoes in this store.”

Customer: “Ok, we’ll be there in a couple hours.”

Me: “No, ma’am, we don’t have them. I don’t know how else to say this…. None, we have zero in stock; there’s really no need for you to come in, please…don’t come in.”

Customer: “All right, we’ll see you then.” *hangs up*

Me: “…”

1 Thumbs
2,193
VOTES
Page 4,077/4,347First...4,0754,0764,0774,0784,079...Last
« Previous
Next »