Trying To Re-Coup Losses

| Oakville, ON, Canada | Right | November 8, 2010

(An elderly customer comes up to my checkout.)

Me: “That’ll be [price]."

Customer: “Why is it so much?”

Me: “Well, you bought all these items, and it all adds up to your total.”

Customer: “You charged me for the chicken?”

Me: “Yes, of course.”

Customer: “There’s your mistake. The chickens are free today.”

Me: “I beg your pardon?”

Customer: “I got it from that big display where you’re giving away ‘free range chicken’.”

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Must Have Lymphed Their Way Through Biology

| St. John's, NL, Canada | Right | November 8, 2010

Me: “Okay, well I’d like to do some tests on your cat.”

Client: “Which kind of tests, how does that work?”

Me: “I’d like to do some blood-work. We take it just like a doctor would take human blood.”

Client: “Cats have blood?!”

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H2Slow, Part 3

| Minnesota, USA | Right | November 8, 2010

Caller: “I was just wondering if my credit card will work the same in Hawaii as it does here?”

Me: “Well, ma’am, Hawaii is part of the US, so it should.”

Caller: “I know. I was just making sure since we’d be flying over a body of water.”

 

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Marriage Bed(ding)

| Ontario, Canada | Right | November 7, 2010

(A male customer comes up to the return desk holding a bagged bedding set.)

Me: “Hi sir, would you like to return that?”

Man: “Yes please.”

Me: “May I ask why?”

Man: “Um…my wife told me to?”

Me: “Good enough for me!”

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In A Stupid Mood

| Corolla, NC, USA | Right | November 7, 2010

(At the checkout line, a customer and her grand daughter have placed mood rings all over their fingers.)

Customer: “Isn’t it amazing how they know exactly what type of mood you’re in?”

Me: “Would you to add any mood rings?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Well, it will be [price].”

Customer: *pays*

Me: “Your change is [change]”

(I hand the customer one of the new five dollar bills.)

Customer: “I think this bill is counterfeit.”

Me: “I assure you, it’s not ma’am.”

Customer: “Sure it is, it’s colored.”

Me: “It’s actually a mood five. It changes according to your mood.”

Customer: “The things they do with technology!”

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