Can’t See The Forest For Los Arboles

| | Right | September 16, 2009

Me: “Gracias por llamar a [company name], en que le puedo asistir hoy?”

Caller: “Excuse me?”

Me: “I am sorry, ma’am, your call came in through the Spanish line. How may I help you today?”

Caller: “I want to talk to somebody in English.”

Me: “I speak English ma’am, You must have pressed the Spanish option through the automated system, but I will be more than happy to help you.”

Caller: “What was that you were speaking before?”

Me: “Spanish.”

Caller: “I want to talk to somebody in English.”

Me: “Ma’am, I speak English as well. How may I help you today?”

Caller: *slowly* “I want to talk to somebody in the United
States who speaks English!”

Me: “Thank you for calling [company name], how may I help you today?”

Caller: *hangs up*

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One Should Learn From Mistakes So That They Are Not Receipted

| | Right | September 16, 2009

(I’ve just finished ringing up a customer.)

Customer: “Oh, and I don’t need a receipt.”

Me: “Alright, here you go. Have a nice day!”

(About 20 minutes later, the customer comes back.)

Customer: “I bought the wrong figure! I need to make an exchange!”

Me: “All refunds and exchanges are done at Customer Service. Good thing I held on to your receipt!”

(I hand him his receipt and he went to Customer Service. He gets his refund, then comes back to my register with a different toy.)

Customer: “Alright, this was what I wanted to buy! Oh, and I don’t need a receipt.”

(This time, I put his receipt in the bag without saying a word.)

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Mother Knows Best

| | Right | September 16, 2009

(I witnessed this exchange between a mother and daughter shopping together. Note that the help desk was located between aisles 79 & 80 of the store. The mother was running up and down the store, looking down the aisles, but not walking in them. She finally stops and stands on the opposite side of the help desk from where I’m standing.)

Daughter: “Well? Did you find it?”

Mother: “No! That boy lied to us! He said its in aisle 79, but I’ve looked EVERYWHERE and there’s no aisle 79 in this whole store!”

Daughter: (Looks to the left of the help desk.) “Mom? It’s… its right behind you.”

Mother: “What are you talking about? This isn’t aisle 79!”

Daughter: “Yes, it is. See there? No, mom, up there!” *points* “It says 79.”

(Mother glances at the aisle number, then glances down the aisle without walking in it.)

Mother: “Well, what we’re looking for isn’t down there! I’m sure of that!”

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We Want Your Braaaiiins

| | Right | September 16, 2009

(A subject is speaking with me about a sleep-study we were doing.)

Subject: “So I’ll just have to go to sleep for the study, right?”

Me:: “That’s correct. We’re just using those scanning machines to test brain function during REM sleep.”

Subject: *suddenly fearful* “You expect me to sleep with those machines cutting into my brain?!”

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Name Brain Drain

| | Right | September 15, 2009

(A customer reads my name tag.)

Customer: “That’s a strange name isn’t it?”

Me: “Heh.”

Customer: “How do you pronounce that? Tain-ee…Trenay? Seriously, what is that? Welsh? Irish?”

Me: “Uhm…”

Customer: “It sounds really exotic, really foreign.”

Me: “No no, I am a Trainee. Trainee isn’t my name.”

Customer: “Ohh, right. Well, thanks for the help, Train-ee!”

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