Math Saves The Day Yet Again

| | Right | April 1, 2009

Me: “Welcome to ***, how may I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I was calling about a corner fireplace you are supposed to have on sale.”

Me: “Yes ma’am, let me get you a price on that and check our stock.”

(I leave, check the sale price ($299), and come back to the phone.)

Me: “Ma’am?”

Customer: “Yes?”

Me: “Looks like the unit is $299.99 on sale.”

Customer: “WHAT? I have a piece of paper right here that says it should be $315!”

Me: “Oh, sorry. I said it’s on sale for $299.”

Customer: “What the h***, it says it right here on my piece of paper! Corner fireplace for $315!

Me: “Ma’am, $299 is less than $315.”

(There’s a very long silence.)

Customer: *click*

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Right Next To The Yeast Pie

| | Right | April 1, 2009

Customer: “Where are the bread donuts?”

Boss: “Um, sorry sir? All our donuts are a yeast base.”

Customer: “No, no, bread donuts! YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW YOUR OWN BAKING! BREAD DONUTS!”

Boss: “I’m not sure what you mean. I’m sorry, sir.”

(The customer storms off grumbling to himself and makes it about 10 feet.)

Customer: “Oh! Here they are.”

Boss: “Sir, those are bagels.”

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Twice The Prongs, Half The Brains

| | Right | April 1, 2009

(My dad used to work part time at a tool and garden supply store; this happened around the holidays.)

My dad: “Hello, sir, can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I need and extension cord, but I need one with prongs on both ends.”

My dad: “We don’t sell them. It’s very dangerous to have copper exposed at both ends.”

Customer: “Well, I need one. Can’t you make me one?”

My dad: “No I can’t, sir. It would be extreamly dangerous and unethical for me to make that for you. What do you need this for? Maybe I can help you find something else.”

Customer: “I NEED AN EXTENSION WITH PRONGS ON BOTH ENDS!”

(My dad suddenly figures out why the guy needs a double pronged extension cord.)

My dad: “Let me guess, you put the Christmas lights up backwards?”

Customer: “Yeah…” *stomps off*

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Just Another April Fool

| | Right | April 1, 2009

(A customer notices the Egg Plants we have for sale. They are just eggs with soil and seeds in them; crack the top, water, etc.)

Customer: “These are cool. In time for Easter, eh?”

Me: “Oh yeah. People are liking them, so they’re selling well.”

Customer: “That’s cool. I may have to come back and get a couple for my nieces. BTW, when is Easter?”

Me: “Um, I believe it’s either April 5th or April 12th.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. Is it on a weekend this year?”

Me: “Um, sir… it’s always on a Sunday.”

Customer: “… really?”

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The Princess Is A Royal Pain

| | Right | March 31, 2009

(A woman came up to my counter in the clothing store I work in. She has a very distressed look on her face.)

Me: “How can I help you this morning?”

Customer: “What is this red sticker on the tag of this dress?”

Me: “That is a clearance sticker. That dress is 40% off.”

Customer: “But I was here yesterday and it wasn’t on clearance! I’ve been eying that dress for weeks!”

Me: “Well, today is your lucky day – it went on clearance this morning.”

Customer: “I can’t buy it on clearance. Can you take that red sticker off the tag?”

Me: “Are you going to buy this dress?”

Customer: “I’m going to buy it once you take off that red tag. I don’t want to pay the clearance price.”

Me: “Even if I remove the sticker the register will still ring it up at clearance price.”

Customer: “Do I look like I’m the type to buy a dress on clearance?” *holds the dress up dramatically*

Me: “Are you planning on buying this dress?”

Customer: “Are you planning on taking off that red sticker?”

Me: “Not until you pay for it.”

Customer: “You don’t understand my world.”

(She left the dress on the counter and walked out of the store.)

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