Only In Receipt Of Their Vitriol

, , , , | Right | October 6, 2018

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to return this blender. I don’t have my receipt but I have the card it was purchased on.”

Me: “Okay, go ahead and swipe, and I’ll see if I can look it up for you.”

(She does, and when I scan the item, it doesn’t show up.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but it’s not being found on this card. Maybe you bought it with something else?”

(She begins searching her wallet for her credit cards before she slams the first card on the counter.)

Customer: “No, you’re lying. I know I bought it on this card. Check again.”

Me: “I can do that, but also if it’s been more than a year, our computer system isn’t able to track it.”

(She swipes, and once again, it’s not found.)

Customer: “Well, what are you going to do about it? I know I bought this only a month ago, and it was on this card. So, why won’t you return it?”

Me: “I’m sorry. If you can find the receipt, I will be able to help you, or if you want me to check another card I can, but for now, our system is saying that it isn’t on this card. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Customer: “I have another return, but I have the receipt this time.”

(She flings the receipt at me and drops a shirt on the counter. I speed through the transaction, trying to get her out as quickly as possible.)

Me: “Okay, you’re going to get eleven dollars back for the shirt.”

Customer: “No, I should be getting twenty back.”

Me: “The item was eleven dollars; you paid with a twenty and got change back when—”

Customer: “Shut up. You’re wrong.”

(She then looked over her receipt for a couple of minutes, trying to find fault with my math and still berate me. Finally, one of the register supervisors came to the back to drop change off and I begged her to deal with the customer. Whatever she said made her leave, and thankfully, she was there to deal with her the next time she came back. And that time, she had her receipt for the blender.)

It’s A Bad Sign When They Call About A Bad Sign

, , , , | Right | October 6, 2018

(I manage a small music store that’s one of nearly 150 locations nationwide. I’m standing next to one of my coworkers as he takes this call, and can hear most of what the caller is saying. My coworker fills me in in the rest afterward.)

Coworker: “Good afternoon. [Music Store]. This is [Coworker].”

Caller: “Can I talk to the owner?”

Coworker: “Uh, my manager’s here, if you want to talk to her.”

Caller: “Put me through to the owner.”

Coworker: “We’re one store in a large corporation. I can give you the number for our corporate office, but I can’t get you the owner directly.”

Caller: “Well, who’s in charge of your sign?”

Coworker: “Our… sign?”

Caller: “On your door. I was driving by and saw your sign, and I don’t like it. You’d get more business if you had a more regular sign.”

Coworker: “Um… Okay. Is there anything else I can help you out with? Something I can put aside for you?”

Caller: “No, I was just calling about your sign.”

(Our business is primarily geared toward music students, so our logo uses a fun, jazzy font. The sign on my store is black and red on white, backlit, and similar in size and brightness to all the other stores in our shopping center. I have yet to figure out what makes it stand out, or what this caller even meant by “regular.”)

No She Does Not Want To Build A Snowman

, , , | Right | October 6, 2018

(The cafe I work at has a large kids’ playground, so we attract many difficult parents.)

Mother: “Can you please change the movie? My son doesn’t like Frozen.”

Me: “I’m sorry. There are other kids enjoying the movie so I can’t change it right now, but after this finishes I can put on a different one.”

Mother: “But my son doesn’t like it! Do you have no empathy for children?!”

Me: *sternly* “If I change the movie now, all those kids will be upset, so I’m sorry, but I’m not changing it.”

Mother: “I demand to speak to your manager! This is extremely rude of—”

Manager: *yells from out the back* “We’re not changing the f****** movie!”

(The mother snatched her child — who was quietly watching “Frozen” — out of the playground and left, muttering that she was never coming back.)

The Only Right Being Violated Is The One To A Safe Working Environment

, , , , | Right | October 6, 2018

(I am currently working as a ticket seller for an international boat show. Aside from their tickets, customers need to be stamped just in case they want to go in and out of the venue. Everything is going dandy; the flow couldn’t be any more perfect. That is, until an old man in his mid- to late sixties comes up to my coworker’s window:)

Coworker: “Good morning, sir! What will it—”


Coworker: “Um… I’m sorry, sir, but—”


Coworker: *clearly flabbergasted by his hysterics*

(Luckily, my supervisor stepped right in before the man went berserk, and everything was sorted out pretty quickly. I hope he didn’t give the ticket scanners another earful about his deep, dark fears.)

Pistachio No No

, , , , | Right | October 6, 2018

(I work in the bakery department at a grocery store. One of our more popular items is the pistachio muffin, which is bright green, and comes in a package that says, “Pistachio,” on it in two different places and even has a picture of a pistachio on it. I have just clocked in and gotten into my department when this exchange occurs.)

Customer: “Excuse me, ma’am, but what are those bright green muffins you have out there?”

Me: “Those are our pistachio muffins, ma’am. They are very popular!”

Customer: “Hmm, they do sound good, but do they have nuts in them?”

Me: “Pistachios are nuts, ma’am.”

(The customer stares at me like I don’t know what I’m talking about, and then I can see the realization of what just happened dawn on her.)

Customer: “Oh, my God.”

Me: “It’s okay, ma’am, happens all the time.”

Customer: “No… I can’t believe I asked that. I can never show my face here again.”

(The customer then drops her basket and bolts out the front door.)

Me: *to my coworker* “So… it’s going to be one of those days.”

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