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The Trouble With Trekkies

| Healthy | October 31, 2017

(During Halloween at my clinic, my boss allows us to dress up a little. Being a Star Trek fan, I wear a Starfleet medical uniform and download a Star Trek soundboard app on my phone.)

Patient: “Hello, sir, I am [name] and I’m here to see Dr. [name].”

Me: “Oh, yes, I have you here right on time. Just have a seat and we’ll call you soon.”

Patient: “Well, while you’re here, I don’t suppose you can scan me with your tricorder to see?”

Me: “Well, if you want me to!”

(I open my soundboard and start playing the tricorder sound as I start scanning him.)

Patient: “Hahaha! Oh, my god! I am laughing so hard, my chest is hurting!”

Coworker: “[My name], you’re such a nerd.”

Me: “I believe that goes with the uniform I’m wearing.”

What Does God Need With A Starship?

| Related | April 24, 2015

(I’m in my early teens and have recently become obsessed with Star Trek. My family is also very conservative and Christian, though my dad and I are both geeks.)

Dad: *concerned with my obsession* “You know, [My Name],there’s nothing in the bible about Star Trek.”

Me: “I disagree! I distinctly remember a scene where Jesus was beamed up!”

(My dad gave up at that point, laughing and saying he couldn’t argue with my logic!)

Stardate: Christmas

| Working | December 23, 2014

(I’m flying home to see my folks for Christmas. All the presents but one are packed into my duffel. Since my mother’s is so small, I have it in my carry-on. It’s all wrapped up as well. I go through the security line and lay all my stuff out in the bins. However, when my backpack comes out, the TSA employees grab it and put it through again, looking at the X-ray screen with bewildered looks on their faces. Finally, one of them brings it over to me.)

TSA Employee: *very confused* “Miss, what exactly is this?”

(Holds up my mother’s gift.)

Me: *trying hard not to laugh* “It’s a Star Trek salt-n-pepper shaker set. It’s the little communication device from The Next Generation. You pull each half apart, and it’s held by magnets.”

(Both TSA employees are just staring at me in complete confusion, and the one closest to me isn’t handing me my bag, so I finally do the only thing I can think of.)

Me: *pretending to push a communication badge on chest* “Enterprise, this is the away team. Three to beam aboard.”

TSA Employee: *still confused* “Huh?”

Me:  “Beam me up, Scotty!”

TSA Employee: “Oh! “

(They finally give me back my backpack and I catch my plane home. When my Trekkie mother opened her present on Christmas Day, I told the story and she got a good laugh.)

Trekkies: The Next Generation

| Related | July 20, 2013

(My parents are, and have always been Trekkies. My childhood memories are of watching all of the seasons with my parents and brother before bed. I have just shown my mom a Star Trek meme about the dangers of being a red-shirt.)

Mom: “I don’t get it.”

Me: “You are a Trekkie, and you don’t get this?! You claim to have made me a Trekkie!”

Mom: “I didn’t make you this way! And it is strange that a 21-year-old girl is a Trekkie.”

Me: “You and daddy made me a Trekkie! It was not by choice!”

Dad: “What’s going on?”

Me: “Dad! What happens to red-shirts?”

Dad: “They don’t last long!”

(I am proud to be this man’s child.)

This story is part of our ‘Star Trek’ roundup!

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The Needs Of The Trekkie Out Blu-ray The Needs Of The Few

| Working | June 8, 2013

Worker: “Is there anything I can help you with?”

Me: “No, I think we are good.”

Worker: “Well, could you pretend to be getting my help so I could look to see if the Star Trek movie I have been looking for is here?”

(I look at the aisle I had just entered and see all of the ‘Star Trek’ movies out on sale because of the new movie coming out that weekend. I smile.)

Me: “Oh, of course!”

Worker: “Thank you!”

(He takes a look and smiles really excitedly.)

Worker: “Yes, they have [Star Trek movie] and in Blu-ray!” *gets back into character* “I hope I was helpful.”

Me: “You were! Thank you!”