(I am watching the Star Trek movie that came out a few years ago. My mom starts watching it with me, and gets pretty into it. It is getting too late, so we end up not finishing it.)

Mom: “Oh! I know what we could do! We can finish that Star Wars movie!”

(I stare in disbelief.)

Mom: “What?”

Me: “Star Trek, Mom. Star Trek! Not Star Wars.”

Mom: “Oh, same thing! You know what I meant.”

Me: “No, mom, not the ‘same thing’. How are you my mother?”

Mom: “If I hadn’t been there for your birth, I wouldn’t believe you were my daughter either.”

This story is part of our ‘Star Trek’ roundup!

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Read the ‘Star Trek’ roundup!

(A female customer comes up to my register with a heap of baby books. She notices my name tag.)

Customer: “That’s an unusual name. Where did your parents come up with it?”

Me: “Oh, my parents are Star Trek fans. The character I’m named after happened to be a name they liked. It’s also Native American and means ‘light’.”

Customer: “It’s beautiful! Do you mind if I write it down?”

(Flattered, I write down my name, the pronunciation, and the definition on a slip of paper. The customer buys the baby books and leaves. Six months later another customer comes in, and sees my unusual name.)

Customer #2: “Oh, so that’s where she got it.”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer #2: “My sister-in-law just had a baby girl. She said she got the name from an employee in this store.”

Me: “Oh, my. Well please thank her for me. It’s an honor.”

(I never got to meet the next generation of my name. I will not forget the lady who bought the books and chose my name over all the others.)

This story is part of our ‘Star Trek’ roundup!

Read the next ‘Star Trek’ roundup story!

Read the ‘Star Trek’ roundup!

Dear readers,

It’s that time of year again, when the pod-racing of Boonta Eve, the merriment of Life Day, and even the majestic light show of The Eye of Aldhani will pale in comparison to the phenomenon that is… May The Fourth! For those who are not fans of Star Wars, please feel free to keep on scrolling.

To celebrate Star Wars Day, we’ve rounded up sixteen stories from the Not Always Right Archives that show that bad customers are sadly not in a galaxy far, far away but instead are annoyingly close. Throw in some sith-y workplace shenanigans for good measure, and we have ourselves another rebellious roundup! May the fourth be with you!

I Have A Good Feeling About This – This may sound silly, but those plastic lightsabers hurt.

Search Your Feelings, You Know It To Be True – Oooh, she would’ve had a field day with Revenge Of The Sith.

I Find Your Lack Of Period-Appropriate Attire… Disturbing – Some people take Ren Faires way too seriously.

(more…)

(During Halloween at my clinic, my boss allows us to dress up a little. Being a Star Trek fan, I wear a Starfleet medical uniform and download a Star Trek soundboard app on my phone.)

Patient: “Hello, sir, I am [name] and I’m here to see Dr. [name].”

Me: “Oh, yes, I have you here right on time. Just have a seat and we’ll call you soon.”

Patient: “Well, while you’re here, I don’t suppose you can scan me with your tricorder to see?”

Me: “Well, if you want me to!”

(I open my soundboard and start playing the tricorder sound as I start scanning him.)

Patient: “Hahaha! Oh, my god! I am laughing so hard, my chest is hurting!”

Coworker: “[My name], you’re such a nerd.”

Me: “I believe that goes with the uniform I’m wearing.”

(I’m in my early teens and have recently become obsessed with Star Trek. My family is also very conservative and Christian, though my dad and I are both geeks.)

Dad: *concerned with my obsession* “You know, [My Name],there’s nothing in the bible about Star Trek.”

Me: “I disagree! I distinctly remember a scene where Jesus was beamed up!”

(My dad gave up at that point, laughing and saying he couldn’t argue with my logic!)