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Are You In-Zayn?

| Dallas, TX, USA | Musical Mayhem

(I work in a daycare. One day, I’m supervising some kids and one of them comes up to me and starts a conversation.)

Boy: “Do you like music?”

Me: “Yes, I love music.”

Boy: “What’s your favorite band?”

Me: *lists a few*

Boy: “So, not One Direction, then? I like them. Especially the one song that goes ‘best night ever!’”

Me: “Oh, I do like that one.”

Boy: “I watched the music video for that song. It had a boy dressed like a girl in it.”

(At this point, I’m not sure where the conversation is going, but I decide to proceed with caution just in case…)

Boy: “And you look like the girl!”

(I sit speechless for a moment as he wanders away, having told me I look like Zayn Malik dressed in drag.)

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Fickle Over A Nickel

| Kalamazoo, MI, USA | Bad Behavior, Money

(I am working the checkout lane and an older woman comes up to my lane.)

Me: “Hi! Did you find everything okay?”

Customer: “Yes.”

(She places 2-3 items on counter with her own reusable grocery bag. I complete ringing her up and she says something I can’t hear over the noise so I just smile. She walks away looking at her receipt and while I start to check out the next customer with a very large cart full of items, the old woman comes back. My store offers five cents off when you use your own bag and I completely forgot since it isn’t that common.)

Customer: “You didn’t give me my f****** nickel! I need my nickel back from my bag. Return my items right now and re-ring the order or I am going to get your manager!”

(Being in the middle of this large order, I decide giving her the nickel in my pocket is easier.)

Me: “Here, ma’am, I apologize for the inconvenience. Can I just give you my change instead so that this guest does not have to start her checkout process over?”

Customer: “NO. I want MY f****** nickel, not yours.”

(The second customer was clearly embarrassed. Meanwhile a manager came over and asked her to go to another register. She refused and we had to call security to take her out of the store.)

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They Are Bali Listening

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Geography, Tourists/Travel

(I am in the bakery to buy bread when I overhear an argument. It’s clear that this customer is a regular, since the bakers have a bit of a laugh with him.)

Customer: “Where were you last week?”

Baker: “I was in Bali.”

Customer: “What? Why were you there?”

Baker: “Uh… for a holiday?”

Customer: “But why go on holiday?”

Baker: “Because… I wanted to? And it was nice there?”

(The customer goes on and on about Bali being a horrible place, so I decide to pitch in.)

Me: “What’s wrong with Bali? It’s a beautiful place.”

Customer: “Never been. Don’t want to go. I’m allergic to Bali.”

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Not Very Closed Minded: Employee Edition

| Knoxville, TN, USA | Time

Customer: “When do you close?”

Me: “Thanksgiving.”

Customer: “No, I mean tonight.”

Me: “Thanksgiving. We’re a twenty-four hour store, ma’am.”

Customer: “Oh.”

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A Cereal Liar

| FL, USA | Bad Behavior

(The store I work at lets us wear whatever we want as long as it is all black. We also wear a multi-colored, neon bright nametag and an apron. I am in the cereal aisle, standing on a ladder, stocking boxes and talking to a regular customer. She works at our City Hall and is wearing a suit. A man walks into the aisle spins around for a second and then asks the woman where a product is. I start to answer him but he angrily snaps.)

Customer: “You need to stop talking and wait your turn!”

(The woman gives her best smile and gives him convoluted directions that basically take him all through the store and then back to the cereal aisle. Ten minutes later she is gone and he is back in the aisle. He comes again to the same exact spot, spins around looking and then looks at me, throwing his hands up in frustration.)

Me: “It’s behind you.”

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