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Time To Ship Them A Brain

| CA, USA | Extra Stupid

(I am a manager at a large retail chain store and am called over to the guest service desk to assist a customer.)

Customer: “I did an in-store pick up order but I didn’t know these items would be so big… Can I take them off the order?”

Me: “You would need to cancel your whole order and we can ring you up right now for the stuff you do want.”

Customer: “But online I got free shipping…”

Me: “What do you mean?”

Customer: “If I buy them here I won’t qualify for the free shipping…”

Me: “…?!”

(I give the guest a bewildered look and he looks back at me puzzled.)

Customer: “Do I have to pay for shipping now?”

Me: “You don’t pay shipping for in-store pick up, sir.”

Customer: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Yeah…”

Customer: “I don’t wanna risk it. I’ll just take the large items. No worries. Thanks!”

(Am I missing something?!)

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Too Chicken To Pay Full Price

| Wareham, MA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I’m pulling chickens out of our oven. It’s a busy day, so we’re all sold out of our older batch. A regular comes in and I recognize her as the woman who always comes in and asks for, as she calls them, “three hour limit chickens,” as after they’ve been out of the oven for three hours, as they get marked down to half price.)

Me: “Good evening, ma’am! I’m sorry, I know you like your half-off chickens, but it’s been a busy day so we are all sold out of the older batch.”

Customer: “I’ll wait.”

Me: “Unfortunately, all we have right now are these chickens I’m pulling out of the oven right now, so it would be quite a wait.”

Customer: “Oh, then give me whatever you have.”

Me: “You’d like a fresh one? Sure thing!”

Customer: “No, I want a half-off one!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, there are no half-off chickens left. All we have are the fresh.”

Customer: “Then give me the cheapest, freshest ones you got.”

(I show her what I have and she picks the ones she wants. About five minutes later, she comes back.)

Customer: “I think we misunderstood each other; I wanted half-off chickens!”

Me: *stunned for a moment* “Uh… Ma’am, I apologize, but as I explained we don’t have any chickens left that have been out of the oven long enough to get marked down, only the fresh ones that aren’t ready to be marked down.”

Customer: “Then I’m putting them back!”

(She put them all on the warmer and walked away.)

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Not So Smart In The Age Before Smartphones

| TN, USA | Crazy Requests, Popular, Technology

(My phone is on a two-year contract, and about three months before my upgrade is available, my phone starts to malfunction. Though my hopes aren’t high for fixing the phone or getting my upgrade early, I visit the local Phone Company store to figure out my options. While I’m there, I overhear a conversation between another customer and representative.)

Customer: “So you’re saying that your service is terrible? You won’t help me?”

Employee: “That’s not what I’m saying at all, sir. Your cell phone is so old that I’ve honestly never seen it before, so unfortunately, it’s going to have some problems getting service in some places. If you aren’t near any towers, sometimes the signal gets weaker–”

Customer: “It’s because your store is too far away from my house!”

Employee: “Uh. No, sir. It’s not a matter of distance from the [Phone Company] store. It’s the distance from a [Phone Company] tower. If you let me know where you’re having trouble getting service, I can call someone and have them visit the area to check the signal–”

Customer: “So you’re not going to help me?”

Employee: “I AM trying to help you, sir. The problem is that we have a lot of variables here. It’s possible the reason you’re not getting service in that area is because there’s no tower nearby, or it could be because your phone is old—”

Customer: “Fine! If you’re not going to help me, maybe I’ll just swap to [Competitor]!”

(The customer leaves, and while the representative tries to shrug it off, I approach him.)

Me: “That guy was a d***!”

Employee: *heartfelt* “THANK you!”

(The representative proceeded to call me his “new best friend” in front of the other employees. Thanks to some creative problem-solving on his part, I managed to walk out of the store with a nicer, newer phone than the one I had, without having to pay a penny! Just goes to show that a little empathy can go a long way.)