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Decides To Skirt Around The Issue

| VA, USA | Bad Behavior

(I work at a clothing store where the sales associates are encouraged to dress fashionably. A very well-dressed, seemingly calm-looking, elderly woman is browsing in my section, which is mainly bikinis and the type of stuff you’d wear to Coachella. After around forty minutes of this, she stalks up to me and bellows:)

Customer: “Where’s your skirt?!”

Me: “…”

Customer: *points to the skirt I’m wearing* “Where is it?!”

Me: “Oh, sorry, this skirt isn’t from here. I bought it from a Canadian company – [Company]. You can probably order it online.”

Customer: *looking angry* “That was the whole reason I was here!” *proceeds to immediately walk out in a huff*

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Allergic To Common Sense, Part 10

| Charleston, SC, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

(I am a cashier at a restaurant. We are a small business and the owners are still working on the perfect way to run the business. A couple walk in and order at the counter as usual. After finding a table, the woman returns to the counter.)

Customer: “Excuse me; do you have any larger chairs? My husband is too large to fit in these.”

(I know we don’t have any, but I go in the back to ask the owner for advice anyway. I return to the counter with no real solution.)

Me: *”No, ma’am. We don’t have any larger chairs; I’m sorry for your husband’s discomfort.”

Customer: “Okay, thanks anyway.”

(She goes back to her table, visibly upset. The husband returns to fill his drink, and I notice he is wearing an adult bib. They eat all their food with seemingly no complaints. They talk for a few minutes, and then the wife returns to the counter.)

Customer: “Excuse me, I’m having an allergic reaction. Is the manager around?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. Let me go grab the owner for you.”

Owner: “What’s wrong, ma’am ?”

Customer: “My throat is itchy. I’m allergic to something in your food. Could you name the ingredients for me?”

Owner: *names every ingredient in the food she and her husband has eaten*

Customer: “I’m not allergic to any of that.”

Owner: “I’m sorry, ma’am, then you didn’t have an allergic reaction here.”

Customer: *becoming more angry by the second* “I said my throat is itchy and I’m having an allergic reaction! Don’t you care at all about your customers?”

Owner: “Would you like me to call an ambulance?”

Customer: “No! I’m fine! We were just leaving!”

(She pulled her husband out the door. He seemed indifferent to her “allergic reaction.” He even waved to us on the way out.)

Related:
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 9
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 8
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 7

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Returner Burner, Part 4

| IL, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

(It’s my first week on the job, and really excited about it (stupid me) because at the time I really liked retail. I’m in training. I’m shadowing my manager at the register. A woman comes in with a pair of shoes that she wants to return. I’ve known this since the day I started: there is a very strict return policy that says that the shoes must be UNWORN and returned within SEVEN DAYS of purchasing. It’s on every single receipt printed from the register, and there’s a rather large sign in front of the register, right where the woman is standing.)

Customer: “Excuse me, I need to return these.”

Coworker: “Do you have your receipt?”

Customer: “Yes, here. These shoes simply don’t fit me and are uncomfortable so I need to return them.”

Coworker: “Well, ma’am, it says here that you paid for these a month ago.”

Customer: *quickly getting belligerent* “So?”

Coworker: “Ma’am, we cannot take these back. Our return policy says that we cannot. However, we can do an exchange if you’d like—”

Customer: “Your return policy? No one ever said anything about a return policy!”

(I slowly reach in front of the computer and tap the sign about the return policy. I clear my throat politely. The woman stares at it as though the words are going to jump out and murder her.)

Coworker: *politely* “We would have told you when you bought the shoes, as that’s part of our company policy. It was also on the bottom of your receipt, ma’am, right here. It’s the part that takes up most of the receipt.”

(The customer grabs the shoes, glares at us, and takes off, scoffing at us the entire way.)

Me: “So…”

Coworker: *sighing* “Sadly that’s not the dumbest thing I’ve seen all week.”

(I was at that job nearly two years after that.)

Related:
Returner Burner, Part 3
Returner Burner, Part 2
Returner Burner

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Email Fail, Part 8

| HI, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

Me: “All right, Mr. [Customer]. Your flight date change has been confirmed and issued a new ticket for. All I need to do is to send you an email so let me verify the email address on file.” *reads back his Gmail address*

Customer: “No, no, no! That one is in Maui. I’m in Honolulu right now; I’ll give you another one.”

Related:
Email Fail, Part 7
Email Fail, Part 6
Email Fail, Part 5

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The Day The Music Died

| IA, USA | Crazy Requests, Musical Mayhem

(This happens to my coworker. I work in a shop that sells instruments. A customer actually comes into our shop and says the following:)

Customer: “I have a $50 gift card to Amazon and I’d like to use that to buy an instrument on Amazon. Can you tell me what brand of instrument I should buy?”

Coworker: *facepalm*

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