Seven Sons For Seven Burgers

, | | Right | November 3, 2009

Customer: “You seem a bit slow. Is this your first day?”

Me: “Actually, it is. I’m sorry if I held you up.”

Customer: “No problem. You’ll get the hang of it. I should know. I have seven sons, and they all work at fast food places just like you.”

Me: “Oh, that’s nice!”

Customer: “No, it’s not. It’s pathetic and disappointing!”

 

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Translation: Stupid

| | Right | November 3, 2009

Customer: “Excuse me, why won’t my card work on the pump?”

Me: “Is it an American card?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “American cards don’t work at the pump.”

Customer: “You should put up a sign or something.”

Me: “Actually, there are several right above the card slot.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, I don’t read Canadian…”

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Ungratefully Gratis

| | Right | November 3, 2009

(I work customer service for a grocery store chain. One day, I’m bagging groceries for a customer when his chicken rings up for $4.99/pound.)

Customer: “I don’t think that price is right. The chicken is supposed to be half off this week.”

Me: “I’m sorry sir, let me go check…”

(I head back to the meat department and see that he is right. Our store policy is that if an item rings up higher than it’s advertised price, it’s free. I go back to the cashier and tell him to void it.)

Me: “Congratulations, sir. You just got some free chicken.”

Customer: “What? Why?”

Me: “Because the item rang up the wrong price, and it’s our policy to give it to you for free.”

Customer: “But doesn’t that affect your inventory? How do you keep track of that?”

Me: “We don’t. Our main concern is that the customer is treated fairly.”

Customer: “But that must cause some kind of problem!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but this is the way we’ve done it for years.”

Customer: “That’s the problem with Americans these days! If it doesn’t affect me, why should I bother?! That’s all they care about!” *pays for the rest if his groceries and leaves in a huff*

 

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Fighting Fire With Fire, Part 3

| | Right | November 2, 2009

(A man walks up to our gas station pumps smoking a cigarette. I am working alone, so I talk to him using the microphone.)

Me: “Could you please move away from the pumps with your cigarettes immediately?”

Smoking Man: *shouts back to me* “Petroleum extinguishes cigarettes!”

Me: “You can’t smoke here. There are lots of explosive fumes!”

Smoking Man: “No, I am a fireman! We use petroleum to put out fires!”

Me: “I doubt that. I have now stopped all the pumps so no one else can get any gas until you leave the gas station.”

Smoking Man: “PETROL EXTINGUISHES CIGARETTES!”

(Just then, a customer who has been pumping gas speaks up.)

Customer: “I’ll f***ing extinguish you, you d***!” *chases Smoking Man out of the gas station*

 

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Not Always Right Book: Facebook Giveaway

| Right | November 2, 2009

Not Always Right Book

Dear Readers,

Win a FREE copy of the new Not Always Right book!

To enter our book giveaway, simply visit the official Not Always Right Facebook group and follow the contest instructions.

Psst #1: Not a Facebook user? No problem! We have a similar book giveaway planned for following us on Twitter in the next few weeks–stay tuned for details!

Psst #2: Don’t know what book we’re talking about? Visit the official Not Always Right Book page!

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