The Blind Leading The Blind

| | Right | July 14, 2008

(I’m helping an elderly customer look for a book when some guy interrupts, speaking gibberish. I can’t understand what he’s saying at all.)

Me: “I’m sorry, could you try to describe it?”

Gibberish guy: *gibberish*

Me: “Sorry?”

Gibberish guy: *gibberish*

(The elderly customer apparently understands and begins speaking to the guy.)

Elderly customer: *gibberish*

Gibberish guy: *gibberish*

Elderly customer, to me: “Music books?”

Me: “Over there.”

Elderly customer: *gibberish*

Gibberish guy: *gibberish*

Elderly customer, to me: “Where?”

Me: “In the corner.”

Elderly customer: *gibberish*

Gibberish guy: *gibberish*

(The gibberish guy leaves.)

Me: “Uh, thanks for the translation.”

Elderly customer: “Oh, I speak a little of everything.”

Me: “What language were they speaking?”

Elderly customer: “I don’t know.”

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Personally, I Prefer Pokey ‘Pods

, | | Right | July 12, 2008

(Working in a popular electronics store set in between an extremely rural area and a sprawling urban landscape, we get all types…)

Customer:“Y’all got dem thirty two jiggabit touchee pods?”

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Jesus, The Only MasterCard You’ll Ever Need

| | Right | July 12, 2008

Me: “Thanks for calling Credit Card Services, how may I help you today?”

Card member: “Yeah, I was just looking over my statement and see I was charged a late fee. Why?”

Me: “Well, when we receive a payment past the due date, a late fee is normally assessed to the account. Do you have any idea why we received the payment late?”

Card member: “I was on vacation and didn’t send it in until the 12th.”

Me: “Well, the payment was¬†due on the 8th and there is usually at least seven days between customers sending in their payment until we can receive and process them.”

Card member: “Well, can you waive that fee for me?”

Me: ¬†”Unfortunately, since the fee was billed appropriately, there isn’t any way that it can be removed.”

Card member: “Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior?”

Me: “How is that in any way relevant to this conversation?”

Card member: “Jesus would waive my fee!”

Me: “Jesus wouldn’t own a bank.”

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Digging Your Way Out Of A Hole, Part 4

| | Right | July 12, 2008

(As I’m ringing this woman’s vitamins up, I notice that she’s staring at my stomach. I pause and look up at her.)

Customer: “When’s the baby coming?”

Me: “What baby?”

Customer: “Are you expecting?”

Me: “Um, no. I’m not pregnant.”

Customer: “Oh, I’m so sorry! I just asked because I used to be chubby like you when I was your age.”

Me: “Um… what?”

Customer: “Well, I was gonna say, you’re too young to be pregnant!”

Me: “I think you’d better quit while you’re ahead.”


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Grand Opening: Not Always Right Store

| Right | July 11, 2008

Announcing the official Not Always Right store

We interrupt your daily reading for a special announcement: The official Not Always Right store is now open and stocked with funny tees, stickers, buttons and other goodies! The store helps pay for hosting costs, plus it’s a great way to get the word out about your favorite blog (*cough* this one).

PS: Free Shipping until 7/20 with orders $65 and over, code: FREESUMMER.

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