Even Owners Have A Stupid Quota

| | Right | March 10, 2008

(A customer gives me a Canadian quarter. I refuse to accept it. He gets angry.)

Me: “Sir, I can’t accept this quarter. It’s Canadian.”

Customer: “So? I got it from somewhere in the US so you must accept it.”

Me: “No, sir, I can not. My drawer will come up short.”

Customer: “It’s not my fault someone gave me this quarter! Why should I take the blame for it? Take the quarter!”

Me: “Oh, I see. So it is my fault, then?”

Customer: “YES! Take the quarter!”

(I take a quarter out of my pocket and then throw that Canadian quarter across the room to a trash can.)

Customer: “Call your manager.”

Me: *smiling* “I am the owner, sir. How can I help you?”

 

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Time To Fire The Marketing Department

| | Right | March 10, 2008

(I work at a large electronics retail chain, the largest in the world, that has very large lighted signs on the outside of their buildings, an easily recognizable color scheme, and million-dollar highly polished TV commercials.)

(I was standing near computer software, towards the BACK of the store, when a customer walked straight down the center aisle, passing all the other departments and products, and right up to me. He opened his mouth, paused for a second, and asked me:)

Customer: “What store is this?”

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Deja Vu In Aisle 3

| | Right | March 9, 2008

(I work in the stock department of a small, local grocery store. Generally, I would get 1 or 2 requests to check the back for an item a shift. An elderly woman-I’d say around 75-80–approaches me. She is asking about a common type of flour we carry.)

Customer: “Excuse me, I’ve managed to find 4 of these. Would you care to check the back room to see if you have any more?”

Me: “Sure thing.”

(I grab a single flour package from her. After 1-2 minutes of aimless searching in the backroom, I return the bag to the woman.)

Customer: “Why, thank you! Now I have 4! Thats exactly how many I needed! God bless you!”

(I was way too embarrassed for her to explain the situation.)

Me: “You’re…welcome. Anything else?”

Customer: “One more thing, dear.”

Me: “What is it?”

Customer: “Can you check the back to see if you have any more of these?”

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Of All The Times To Dial A Wrong Number

| | Right | March 9, 2008

(Okay, so I was answering the phone and this guy calls us instead of the number he means to…)

Me: “Hello?”

Him: “Hey baby.”

Me: “What?”

Him: “I’ve got the stuff for tonight, are you ready for it?”

Me: “Um, WHAT?”

Him: “You know what, babe…”

Me: “I think you have the wrong number…”

Him: “Oh good lord, I’m sorry! BYE!” *click*

(Me and my mother laughed about that one for a good 5 minutes.)

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Behind Every Man Is An Embarassed Wife

, | | Right | March 9, 2008

(The place I work at, our dining room closes at 10pm but the drive-through stays open all night. I had just locked both the dining room doors when a man comes up and starts banging on the 1st door. We start talking through the door.)

Me: “Sorry, we’re closed.”

Customer: “You screwed up my order!”

Me: “I’m sorry. You could go through our drive-through and they’d be happy to help you.”

Customer: “I just came through! They’re the ones that messed it up.”

Me: “I’m really sorry about that, if you go through again they’ll fix it for you.”

Customer: “I don’t have my car!”

Me: “But you said you just went through?”

Customer: “Yeah, but I don’t have my car anymore.”

Me: “I can give you our store number. If you call, we’ll replace your order tomorrow.”

Customer: “Just open the door!”

Me: “I can’t sir, we’re closed.”

(The man then walks around the store to the 2nd door and starts banging there.)

Me: “Sir, the only way we can fix this is if you go through the drive-through or give us a call.”

Customer: “I don’t have a phone!”

Me: “You can save your receipt and show it to us tomorrow. We’ll replace the whole order.”

Customer: “This is bullshit!”

(He then enters the drive-through on foot, weaving through cars in line, gets between the drive-through window and a car waiting to order and starts banging on the glass.)

Manager: “I’m sorry sir, I can’t open the window unless you’re in a car.”

Customer: “I don’t have my car anymore and you messed up my order. Tell your employees to open the door.”

Manager: “I’m sorry, we can’t unlock the doors once we’re closed. That’s our policy. If you return in the morning, we’ll be glad to help.”

Customer: “Don’t f*ck with me. I’ll call the cops on you! You can’t refuse service to me!”

(Just then, a car pulls up behind him. The woman driving rolls down her window.)

Woman: “Get in the f*cking car! Its not that big a deal.”

Customer: “They won’t fix our order!”

Woman: “Get in the f*cking car! This is f*cking embarrassing!”

(The man gets in and the car pulls up to the window.)

Woman: “I’m sorry. All that happened was you forgot to give us a burrito.”

Manager: “We’ll get that for you right away.”

(As soon as window is closed, the woman starts yelling at the man again.)

 

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