That’s Nothing A Little Duct Tape Can’t Fix

, , | | Right | November 11, 2007

Customer: “I want a computer where I can type in Russian and it will print in English.”

Me: “Sir, I’m afraid we don’t have Russian keyboards.”

Customer: “No, that’s fine. I’ll just tape Russian letters on.”

Me: “Sir, it will still be an English keyboard.”

Customer: “Okay, so what if I glue the letters on?”

Me: *thunk thunk thunk* “Still English.”

1 Thumbs
1,965
VOTES

Yet Bats Drink Blood And Dogs Eat Poop

, | | Right | November 11, 2007

Me: “Would you like half and half?”

Hippy Woman: “Oh no! Soy please. Humans aren’t supposed to drink milk you know. Haven’t you noticed we’re the only species that drinks the milk of another species?”

1 Thumbs
1,708
VOTES

Actually, You Look More Like A C-Cup

| | Right | November 11, 2007

Customer Looking at Batteries: “My friend asked me to pick her up some D batteries, but I’m not sure which ones to get.”

(Customer holds up a package with 10 D batteries in it and a package with 12 D batteries in it)

Customer: “What’s the difference between 10D and 12D? I don’t want to get the wrong ones.”

1 Thumbs
1,452
VOTES

Oh Give Me a Home, Where The Jackalopes Roam

, , | | Right | November 11, 2007

Little boy: “What are those?”

Zookeeper: “That’s a Cavy.”

(Note: Cavies are another name for guinea pigs.)

Little boy’s father: “No, they’re not. They’re Jack-a-lopes. But I don’t see any antlers, so they must all be does.”

1 Thumbs
1,886
VOTES

Casting An Extra Super Duper Ginormously Wide Net

, | | Right | November 10, 2007

Me, on the phone: “Thank you for calling Hollister, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I’m looking for a specific shirt, I was wondering if you have it?”

Me: “Ok, can you describe it?”

Customer: “Well it’s blue, and it says “Hollister’ on it.”

Me: “Riiiiiiigghhht.”

1 Thumbs
1,747
VOTES
Page 3,923/3,934First...3,9213,9223,9233,9243,925...Last
« Previous
Next »