Betsy Ross 2.0

| | Right | July 23, 2009

(A customer has been staring doubtfully at one of our wall maps of the United States. I witness him frowning speculatively and then counting each state slowly.)

Me: “Sir, can I help you with anything?”

Customer: “It seems your map of the U.S. is out of date. There aren’t enough states.”

Me: “Hmm. That’s odd. Let me see.”

(I examine the map, but can find nothing amiss.)

Me: “Nope, it looks perfect to me. Is there something I’m missing?”

Customer: “Yeah, there’s only fifty states on this map.”

Me: “That’s correct.”

Customer: “But there are fifty-two states. Alaska and Hawaii were fifty-one and fifty-two. They’re on the map; I just can’t figure out which ones are missing…”

Me: “…none of them are missing, sir. The United States has only fifty states. Look, we have flags too. For every state, there’s a star.”

(He proceeds to count every star on the flag. In disgust, he puts the flag away.)

Customer: “Your flags are out of date too! I’m telling you there are fifty-two states in the USA! You need to update your merchandise and learn about your country!” *storms out*

1 Thumbs
3,679
VOTES

Butthead, The Incontinence Years

| | Right | July 23, 2009

(I notice a customer is standing in front of a freezer. After remaining there for several minutes, I get concerned.)

Me: “Sir, can I help you?”

(At this point, I notice that he’s urinated in the freezer. The customer turns around, zips up his fly, and then pulls his shirt over his head.)

Customer: “I AM CORNHOLIO! I NEED TP FOR ME BUNGHOLE!” *runs away*

Coworker: “They don’t pay us enough for this.”

1 Thumbs
2,938
VOTES

Step 1: Insert Foot Into Mouth

| | Right | July 22, 2009

(I am one of the few women working at my computer store. One day a male customer speaks up near me.)

Customer: “Wow, that’s a pretty big rack you’ve got there!”

Me: *looking up from monitor screen* “…excuse me?”

(I then follow his gaze to see him looking at a giant walk-in rack mount we have for sale.)

Customer: “Oh, wow. I gotta watch how I phrase things.”

1 Thumbs
7,213
VOTES

The Karma Of Capitalism

| | Right | July 22, 2009

Me: “Can I help you sir?”

Customer: “Can you…do…this coupon?” *holds out coupon*

Me: “Yes, our two-for-one special. What flavors would you like?”

(The customer then dictates two particularly long and complicated orders.)

Customer: “I don’t like the energy you gave off while making those ice creams. Make them again.”

Me: “Okay…I’ll try to change my energy, sir.”

(Later, after I re-did the order.)

Me: “That would be $3.66, please.”

Customer: “But I have a coupon.”

Me: “A two-for-one means you have to pay for one of the two ice creams.”

Customer: “Pay…? But…free?”

Me: “You have to pay, yes.”

Customer: “But I just wanted free ice-cream…”

Me: “Do you even have any money?”

Customer: “What the h*** do I need money for? I have a coupon!”

1 Thumbs
3,802
VOTES

Medical Wonders Of The After-Hours

| | Right | July 22, 2009

(I work at a drugstore where the pharmacy closes a few hours sooner than the rest of the store. A customer bursts in holding a script from a doctor’s office, and yells at me from across the store.)

Customer: “OH, NO! WHEN DOES THE PHARMACY CLOSE?!”

Me: *glances at clock which reads 8:30pm* “Six. Sorry.”

Customer: “Oh no. Oh God! What do I do?!”

Me: “The pharmacy opens at nine in the morning, and closes at six, again. You can come back then and–”

Customer: “Is there a number I can call?! There has to be, for this sort of thing?”

Me: “No. I’m sorry. If you just–”

Customer: “But what does this town do in case of an emergency?!”

Me: “…we go to the hospital, ma’am.”

Customer: “The hospital? Thank you!” *leaves still clutching script tightly*

1 Thumbs
1,825
VOTES
Page 3,923/4,347First...3,9213,9223,9233,9243,925...Last
« Previous
Next »