Totally Loopy, Thru-And-Thru

, | | Right | May 4, 2008

(My store has a drive-thru menu board before the actual board where customers order. It only has pictures on it, no electronics of any sort.)

Me: “How can I help you?”

Customer: “I already gave my order to the first guy and he told me to pull up to the second board.”

Me: “That’s not possible, ma’am. There’s no one who could take your order at that first board. Can I take your order?”

Customer: “I already told you I gave my order to the first guy. He knows it. Ask him.”

Me: “Could you repeat it for me?”

Customer: “NO! I’m driving up now.”

(The customer drives up and I finally get her to repeat her order, which turns out to be a lot of food. I ask her to pull to the front door, which is literally twenty feet from the drive-thru window. Instead, she drives out of the drive-thru lane, drives around the entire store, and comes back in the drive-thru lane. She pulls up and looks at me again.)

Customer: “I told the guy at the first board that I was parked and he told me to pull right up. I hope you are nice because the last girl was really rude to me.”

Me: “…”

1 Thumbs
2,117
VOTES

Too Bad They Don’t Sell Brains Too

| | Right | May 4, 2008

(I’m shopping in the dollar store, fully clothed in my Taco Bell uniform. I even have the hat on, too.)

Customer: “Excuse me, sir, do you work here?”

Me: “Does it LOOK like I work here?”

Customer: “Yes?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Oh…well, do you know how much this is?”

Me: “It’s a dollar.”

Customer: “How did you know that if you didn’t work here?”

Me: “Lady, do you have ANY idea where you are right now? You are in a dollar store. Do you know what that means?”

Customer: “That’s impossible.”

Me: “…what?”

Customer: “This store doesn’t sell dollars.”

(At this point I didn’t know whether I should slap her or retreat and laugh till I puked.)

1 Thumbs
3,624
VOTES

Pointless Pickiness

| | Right | May 4, 2008

Me: “What can I get you?”

Customer: “I want coffee, but I don’t want any caffeine in it.”

Me: “So you want decaffeinated coffee?”

Customer: “No, I want regular coffee. I also want you to take the caffeine out of it.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but you’ll have to buy decaf if you don’t want any caffeine.”

Customer: “Just gimme that coffee, and make sure to take the caffeine out.”

(She turns her back for a moment to rummage through her purse. I pour her a cup of decaf anyway.)

Me: “Here you go, ma’am!”

Customer: “Did you take the caffeine out?”

Me: “Yep!”

1 Thumbs
1,993
VOTES

Customer Knows Best

| | Right | May 3, 2008

(We are running this little sale that offers the customer 20% off on regular priced item.)

Customer: “So, can I use the sale coupon on sale items?”

Me: “Unfortunately, the coupon is only good on regularly priced item.”

Customer: “What about sale items?”

Me: “It can only be used on regularly priced items.”

Customer: “But the shoes were $109, and now they are $79.”

Me: “We can only use it on regularly priced items.”

Customer: “But it’s marked down!”

Me: *losing patience, but still with a smile* “I’m sorry, but again we can only use it on regularly priced items.”

Customer: “Well, then make my shoes regular priced and give me my 20%!”

Me: “Sure, I’d be happy to. You grand total comes to $87.20.”

Customer: “Finally! I swear, all you people try to do is swindle us out of buying sale items with that regular priced coupon. But I see through what you’re trying to do.”

Me: “Yes. I’ll do everything I can to give you the best deal you want.”

1 Thumbs
4,862
VOTES

Mega Moochers, Inc.

| | Right | May 2, 2008

We are a Specialist Inspection company. Over two years ago, we did a job at short notice for another company that could not supply the service. They refused to pay us the US$40,000 despite getting paid by the client (and making a decent profit) and we were in the process of taking them to court to get payment.

They were making the matter even more drawn out than normal by messing the court about, not turning up, etc. I recently got a phone call from their operations manager.

Customer: “Ah, Mr. A***, we need you to do an urgent job for us.”

Me: “…but you still owe us $40,000 from the last job we did for you.”

Customer: “What about the good relationship between our companies?

Me: “We don’t have a good relationship. We are taking you to court over this, remember?”

Customer: “Please Mr. A***, that is all in the past. Can we not work together, for the good of the relationship?”

Me: “The last time I saw you, you lied to me. Your manager has only ever lied to me. You owe us $40,000 dollars. We are taking you to court. How can we have a good relationship?”

Customer: “We must work together, to build a good relationship.”

Me: “What about our money?”

Customer: “You are always going on about the money! Why can’t we have a good relationship?”

Me: “It’s not going to happen.”

Customer: “See, that is why we need a good relationship!”

Me: “Goodbye.”

Customer: “But what ab–” *click*

1 Thumbs
4,237
VOTES
Page 3,923/4,037First...3,9213,9223,9233,9243,925...Last
« Previous
Next »