Playing Along

, | | Right | December 26, 2007

Me: “Welcome to *** Pizza, how can I help you?”

Customer (sincerely): “Do you have any Chinese food?”

Me: “Errr…no.”

Customer (still earnest): “Ohhh…really? What about Thai food?”

Me: “Oh! Yes.”

Customer: “Really?”

Me: “No. Not really. Just pizza.”

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Sticking To Your Guns

| | Right | December 25, 2007

*customer hands over a tree skirt for her Christmas tree*

Customer: “Thats all! And I have a coupon…”

Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, but it appears that the tree skirt is already on sale, so you can’t use the coupon.”

Customer: “Really? It doesn’t say anywhere that it’s on sale.”

Me: “Well, the ad that the coupon comes in also says that ‘All Christmas decorations’ are on sale for 30% off. Your coupon is for 40% off, so its not that big of a difference. It says on the coupon that you cannot use it on sale items…”

Customer: “Can’t you just give me the regular price and discount it with the coupon?”

Me: “Ma’am, you’re only losing out on…6 dollars. I really don’t want to lose my job over your 6 dollars.”

Customer: “I BELIEVE I’M BEING CHEATED! I’M NEVER SHOPPING AT THIS ESTABLISHMENT AGAIN!”

*customer comes back 2 hours later to buy the exact same tree skirt*

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When Religions Collide

| | Right | December 25, 2007

(This is after we’re all done with our transaction. I’m half-Jewish, so I celebrate Hanukkah, which was currently going on.)

Me: “Have a great day, ma’am.”

Customer: “Merry Christmas!”

Me, completely sincere: “And Happy Hanukkah to you!”

Customer: *flails her arms and screams happily* “No it’s about Jesus! It’s Jesus’s birthday! You have to worship Jesus! It’s all about Jesus! Love Jesus!”

 

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Deep Pockets

, , | | Right | December 24, 2007

Customer: “I’d like to buy the Internet, please.”

Sales: “The whole thing?”

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Egocentrism Meets Geocentrism

, , | | Right | December 23, 2007

Customer: *calling from cellphone* “Would you tell me how to get to your office?”

Me: “Sure, where are you now?”

Customer: “That is none of your business. Just tell me how to get there.”

Me: “But to do that, I need to know where you are starting from. Are you in our town?”

Customer: “I told you that is none of your d*** business.”

(After few more exchanges of this sort…)

Customer: “You are an idiot. Let me speak to your manager.”

Manager: *who overheard my part of the conversation* “May I help you?”

Customer: “Tell me how to get to your office.”

Manager: “Well, that depends on where you are starting from.”

Customer: “S***!! Just f***ing tell me how to get there.”

Manager: “Okay. See the next corner? Turn right there.”

Customer: *click*

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