Sick Of Waiting

| Seattle, WA, USA | Right | June 4, 2010

(A woman is several places back in line is with her son who is about 8 years old.)

Customer’s Son: “Mom? I don’t feel good.”

Customer: “Hang on, honey. Mommy is going to get her coffee and then she will take you to the restroom.”

Customer’s Son: “Mom? I feel really sick.”

(I look up and see the boy is very pale and breathing heavy.)

Me: “Ma’am? If you would like to take your son to the restroom, we will save your place in line.”

Customer: “No, it’s okay. We will wait.”

Customer’s Son: “Mom. I really need the bathroom. I don’t feel good.”

Customer: “Honey, just wait. We’ll be done in a few minutes.”

My manager: “Ma’am, please take your son to the restroom. We’ll make your drink while you are in there. On the house. Please!”

Customer: “No! He will have to wait.”

(The customer’s son begins to gag and the customers near him move away from, all of them begging her to take him to the restroom immediately. A few even offer to take him themselves.)

Customer: “I said No! He is just doing this for attention. If you ignore him he will stop.”

Me: “Ma’am, for the last time. Please take your son to the–”

(Customer’s son bends over and begins vomiting on the floor.)

My manager: “Please! Get him out of here!”

Customer: “But I don’t want to lose my place in line.”

My manager: “Ma’am, either get him to the restroom or get him outside. Now!”

Customer: *in a huff* “Well, fine! He’s only doing this for attention!”

(The customer comes out 5 minutes later leading her fully recovered son by the hand. As I a finish mopping her the boy’s breakfast off the floor she collects her free coffee drink, smiles and leaves, calling out…)

Customer: “Thank you very much. See you all tomorrow!”

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Their Spelling Is Wrong, But They Are Sticking To It

| Des Moines, IA, USA | Right | June 4, 2010

Me: “Thank you for calling [internet provider]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, I am trying to provision my personal modem for your internet and I am having issues. Could you help?”

Me: “Sure. May I please have your modem id?”

Caller: “001, E as in igloo, A as in apple, 3251, E as in igloo.”

Me: “So that was 001, Echo, Alpha, 3251, Echo?”

Caller: “No. E as in Igloo!”

Me: “Sorry, sir, but Igloo begins with an I.”

Caller: “The heck it does! Igloo is spelled E-G-L-U-E. I have a G.E.D.—you can’t pull one over on me, Mr. Fancy Pants!”

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Scare Bears

| Erie, PA, USA | Right | June 3, 2010

(I’m talking to two young customers about their stuffed animals with their aunt waiting behind them.)

Me: “So, what are you going to name your bears?”

Girl 1: *shrug*

Girl 2: “I don’t know yet.”

Me: “Oh, well that’s okay.”

Girl 1: *very serious* “You know, my sister’s last name is Ross, but that’s not my last name. Do you know why?”

Me: “Uh…well, um. I’m not sure?”

(The aunt rushes over.)

Aunt: “Oh, sweetie! You should ask your mom that!”

Girl 1: “Oh…okay.” *walks away forlorn*

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Purple Digital Rain

| Cape Town, South Africa | Right | June 3, 2010

Customer: “Hey there, can you help me find a book?”

Me:“Of course, ma’am. Do you know the author or title?”

Customer: “Well you see, I was at the beach and I saw this girl reading a purple book. She looked like she was really enjoying it! I want that book.”

Me: “Ma’am, you’re going to have to be more specific. There are a lot of books with purple covers.”

Customer: “Can’t you search on your computer for purple books?”

Me: “Unfortunately, no.”

Customer: “I’ll go to a bookstore that has better computers.”

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Big Bother

| United Kingdom | Right | June 3, 2010

(A young girl of 18 or 19, clearly a first-time voter, skips the line and rushes up to my table.)

Me: “I’m sorry, you’ll have to wait. There’s a line.”

Voter: “I’m sorry, but it’s important! I need to get my ballot paper back. I voted for the wrong person!”

Me: “All right, give me the spoiled one.”

Voter: “I can’t. I put it in the box.”

Me: “Then I’m afraid we can’t get it back. The boxes can’t be opened until the end of voting at ten o’clock.”

Voter: “But I didn’t know! I don’t want the Conservatives to get in so I voted for [Conservative Candidate]. I should have voted for someone else!”

Me: “Um, why did you vote for the Conservative?”

(The girl turns scarlet and looks utterly miserable.)

Voter: “I thought it was like TV where you vote them off!”

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