No. Duh.

, , | | Right | December 12, 2007

(I work at a bookstore. Tthis happens almost daily)

Customer: “Excuse me, where is your gardening section?”

Me: “Over there.”

Customer: “I mean gardening BOOKS.”

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Zero Short Term Memory

, , | | Right | December 11, 2007

Customer: “Hi, I have my car down the loading dock and I’m parked where it says to park, but there’s no button to call your store or anything down there.”

Me: “No, there’s not because the elevator is shared with three levels of stores. We don’t own it; the mall does. You have to call us when you’re there.”

Customer: “How do I call? There’s no button.”

Me: “With your cellphone…”

Customer: “Oh, pfft, I never bring a cellphone with me.”

Me: “But didn’t you just call? How did you call earlier?”

Customer: “With a cellphone!” *looking at me like I’m stupid*

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Always Right, Even When Calling The Wrong Store

, , | | Right | December 10, 2007

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store #1]. How may I direct your call?”

Customer: “Lumber, please.”

Me: “Sir, we do not have a lumber department.”

Customer: “Yes, you do. I was just in there and I bought four boxes of roof shingles.”

Me: “Sir, I think you have us mistaken for [Store #2].”

Customer: “Don’t correct me. I know where I just left from buying roof shingles.”

Me: “Sir, we do not now nor have we ever sold roof shingles.”

Customer: “I have my receipt right here. It says [Store #2].”

Me: “That’s fine sir, but this is [Store #1], not [Store #2].”

Customer: “Let me speak to your manager!”

(After another 30 minutes of arguing with my manager we just transferred him to hardware so he could yell at them for not selling shingles.)

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On The Futility Of Signs, Part 2

, , | | Right | December 10, 2007

Customer: “Are you out of Shrek the Third?”

Me: “Yes, everything I have is out on the shelves.”

Customer: “Oh.”

(Customer goes back into the rest of store, then comes back to front.)

Customer: “There’s a copy out there that says ‘FOR SALE ONLY.'”

Me: “Mmhm, there sure is.”

Customer: “Can we rent that?”

 

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Misplaced Responsibility

| | Right | December 9, 2007

Customer: “Do you guys do price matching?”

Me: “Yes we do.”

Customer: “Ok, well Wal-Mart has this vacuum on sale for $27.99 and you have it on for $34.99. Will you match that?”

Me: “Yes, that’s no problem. I just need to see a copy of the Wal-Mart flyer with that vacuum.”

Customer: “You don’t have the flyer?”

Me: “…No. We don’t carry Wal-Mart’s flyer.”

Customer: “You want me to drive all the way home to get Wal-Mart’s flyer and come all the way back here? Are you sure you don’t have it here?”

Me: “No, we don’t have Wal-Mart’s flyer.”

Customer: (angrily) “Well, you SHOULD! Jesus Christ, do I have to do everything?”

(Customer mutters and walks away.)

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