Lesson 1: How To Scam A Scammer

| | Right | October 31, 2007

Pizza Delivery Customer: “I want this pizza for free.”

Me: “No cash, no pizza. I don’t care if you don’t eat or not.”

Pizza Delivery Customer: “Well, I know the owner of *** Pizza!!!”

Me: “Really, how do you know me?”

(Customer puts his hand and his pocket and pays for the pizza)

(Note: I’m not really the owner of *** Pizza)

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He Who Warps The Fabric Of Space

| | Right | October 31, 2007

Customer at a Bookstore in Philadelphia: “I‚Äôm looking for the Boston Zagat Restaurant guide, do you have a local interest section that would have it?”

Me: “No. Boston isn‚Äôt local. The restaurant guide would be with the rest of the Boston travel books.”

Customer: “Well there aren‚Äôt any on the shelf.”

Me: “We must be out of stock. I could order it for you.”

Customer: “No. Well are there any local stores around here that would have it?”

Me: “Boston is not local. Maybe you should wait until you go to Boston and buy it there.”

Customer: “Good idea.”

Source

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Ba Dum Dum *Chhh*

| | Right | October 31, 2007

(Customer standing on top of an old, oak library ladder)

Bookstore Customer: “If I was your attorney, I would make you get rid of this ladder.”

Me: “If you were my attorney, I’d push you off it!”

Source

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No, really?

, | | Right | October 30, 2007

Customer at the drive-thru window: “I’d like my order to-go.”

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Bad Pickup Lines, Parte Deux

| | Right | October 30, 2007

Bookstore Customer: “You have beautiful green eyes.”

Me: “They’re blue.”

Source

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