An Expensive Temper Tantrum

| | Right | February 10, 2008

(I was cashiering and couldn’t help but overhear a woman screaming and waving her receipt at my Store Director in front of the exit/entrance to the store.)

Customer: “This is ridiculous! I came to see if the food I buy is cheaper than at [competitor] and it is. But they always give me a free bag after I get a certain amount of points!”

Director: “I know they do. But we aren’t them, we simply don’t do that.”

Customer: “Well why not?!”

Director: “We just don’t. It’s not my decision to make.”

Customer: “UGH!” *rips up the receipt and throws it in the directors face* “FINE THEN, I’LL BUY FROM [competitor] INSTEAD!!”

Director: “Okay, have a nice day!” *waves pleasantly and walks over to me to give me change that I needed*

Me: “Did she just leave without getting a refund for those five 40 lb. bags of dog food?”

(Note: this comes to approximately $125 without tax.)

Director: “Yup, and she ripped up the receipt and didn’t take it with her, which means she has no proof she ever bought the food.”

Me: “…so if she comes back?”

Director: *smiles wide* “Tell her that you need to see the proof.”

(The woman never returned for her refund. Thanks for the $125, lady.)

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And This Was Before He Got Drunk

| | Right | February 10, 2008

Customer, looking directly at the draught: “What have you got on tap?”

Me: “We have Stella, Staropramen, Becks Vier, Leffe, Hoegaarden, Franziskaner and Guiness on tap, sir.”

Customer: *sighs* “Have you got Carling?”

Me: “I’m afraid not sir…”

(I run through everything on tap again, slightly slower, and clearer this time.)

Customer: “No Budweiser?”

Me: “I’m afraid not sir…”

(Again I list everything on draught.)

Customer: “Oh, I suppose I’ll just have a Kronenberg then.”

Me: “I’m afraid we don’t stock that product, sir.”

Customer: “Sorry, I meant a Fosters.”

Me: *deep breath* “I apologise once again sir, but we don’t serve Fosters. We only serve…”

(I run through the draught again.)

Customer: “Okay, okay…bloody hell, I’m not stupid you know!”

Me: “I apologize if I offended you, sir.”

Customer: “I should think so. Pint of Worthingtons then.”

Me: “…” *deep breath* “Tom! Your customer!”

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Ah, Parents…

, | | Right | February 9, 2008

(The phone rings at around 6-ish.)

Me: “Hello, this is D-…”

(I hear loud crying in the background.)

Man: “Hello, Disney World? I’m just calling to say that if my children don’t finish their vegetables in the next five minutes, we won’t be visiting you this year.”

Me: “I…er…what?”

Man: *whispering* “Thank you.” *click*

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Jesus, Now Peanut Free!

| | Right | February 9, 2008

(It is Ash Wednesday and we have kids form next door come over for Mass in the morning. I’m serving as a communion minister as the kids start to come up. One little guy came up right away and just stood there with his hands at his sides looking at me.)

Me: “Do you take communion yet?”

Him: “Do those have peanuts?”

Me: “?”

Him: “‘Cause I can’t have peanuts.”

Me: “No peanuts here, but have you had communion yet?”

Him: “I don’t think I should, just in case there’s peanuts. I can’t have any.”

Me: “How about we just give you a blessing then?” *I make the sign of a cross on his forehead and give him a blessing*

Him: “Thanks, maybe next time there won’t be any peanuts. I can’t have those.”

Me: *wonders if we should make up a “Jesus – Now Peanut Free!” sign, just in case* ;o)

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Paging Miss Cleo

| | Right | February 9, 2008

Customer: “Do you have that movie with that guy?”

Me: “Which guy?”

Customer: “Don’t you know what I’m talking about?”

Me: “No, ma’am, I don’t, but if you could tell me which actor was in the movie perhaps I could think of it for you.”

Customer: “You know, that one that was in that movie.”

 

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