Not Always Right: The Book

| Right | October 26, 2009

Not Always Right Book

Introducing Not Always Right’s first-ever book:
Not Always Right: Hilarious and Horrific Tales of Customers Gone Wrong.

Over 250 pages long (U.S.: $12.99; Canada: $15.99), Not Always Right: Hilarious and Horrific Tales of Customers Gone Wrong includes the best and funniest stories from the website, plus over 50% brand new, never-before-seen stories.

Order your copy today at any of the following retailers:
Amazon
Barnes & Noble
Borders

Want more information and pictures of the book?
Click here!

Those Are My Stories And I’m Sticking To Them

, | | Right | October 23, 2009

(My coworker and I are talking to each other at the counter of our restaurant when a customer comes up.)

Me: “Hi, how may I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, I ordered a medium pizza, but I wanted a small.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. Do you need a box for the extra pizza?”

Customer: “No. I ordered a large pizza, but you brought me a medium.”

(A little confused, I glance at my coworker. She glances back at me with the same confused look.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am…would you like me to put a small pizza in so that you have more pizza?”

Customer: “No! I ordered a medium pizza, and you brought me a medium pizza! But don’t worry, I’m not mad at you.”

(At this point, both my coworker and I are too confused to know what to say, so we just look back at the customer.)

Customer: “I know! Sometimes my dog can be distracting!” *walks away*

Me and coworker: *still confused*

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Building A Bed, No Doubt

| | Right | October 23, 2009

Me: “Thank you for calling [furniture store]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I’m suing your company!”

Me: “May I ask what the problem is?”

Customer: “My son got into a car accident because he fell asleep at the wheel!”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, ma’am, but why are you suing [furniture store]?

Customer: “He fell asleep at the wheel because he stayed up all night assembling your furniture!”

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Varicose To His Wife

| | Right | October 23, 2009

(I work on a cruise ship, and it’s 3 pm on embarkation day–the day all guests board. There are hundreds of people in the main atrium, milling about, asking tour questions and filling in forms. A male guest in his 50s approaches one of the tour staff with a paper in hand.)

Customer: “I have filled my form out. It says here you need to check it?”

Me: “Yes, you have a medical waiver for our snorkel tour. I’ll check it over so I can give you your tickets.”

(I read the form and notice that ‘Circulatory Problems’ has been checked.)

Me: “Sir, it says here you have circulation problems. Is this exercise related?”

Customer: “No, I had a minor surgery.”

Me: “Ah, was it cardiovascular, or–”

(A woman, also in her 50s and dressed in a blue velvet leisure suit with lots of gold jewelry suddenly bursts in.)

Customers Wife: *very loudly* “Harvey, what is this man asking you? I’m his wife.”

Me: “Ma’am, I am just confirming some details on his waiver so he can go snorkeling.”

(She grabs the form.)

Customers Wife: “Let me see that…oh, Harvey you didn’t put down your surgery, that’s why.”

(A couple of guests have turned to listen as the wife of Harvey is very, VERY loud.)

Me: “Yes, ma’am. I was just going to ask Harvey–”

Customers Wife: “Oh, I can tell you what it is. It was for removal of varicose veins.”

Me: “So, it really isn’t circula–”

Customers Wife: *loudly* “They’re on his testicles!”

(I quickly take the form and excuse Harvey. Immediately, Harvey runs off.)

Customers Wife: “Harvey, where are you going? Harvey, what’s wrong?” *chases after Harvey*

Also seen on: Not Always Romantic

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Can’t See The Forest For The Airborne Trees

, | | Right | October 23, 2009

Me: “Thank you for calling [TV Company], how may I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, my TV is broken.”

Me: “I’ll be glad to help you today. What is wrong with your TV?”

Customer: “The picture keeps flashing on and off.”

Me: “Okay, ma’am. Can I have you check the connections on the back of your TV to make sure everything is screwed in tightly?”

Customer: “Well, the lights in my house are flashing on and off too. We’re in a tornado warning. Do you think that has something to do with it?”

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