A Wee Bit Of A Problem

| Texas USA | Right | October 28, 2010

Me: "Thank you for calling [Hospital]. How may I help you?"”

Caller: "I would like to know where people go to buy those cups."

Me: What kind of cups are you looking for, sir?"

Caller: "Sample cups."

Me: "Sample cups? Do you mean like for a urine sample?"

Caller: "Yeah! I need quite a few."

Me: "I guess you could get them at a medical supply company. Have you tried that?"

Caller: "Oh boy! Thank you, lady! You have helped me so much! See, I am looking for work and most places require a urine test. I want to have my samples all ready to go!"

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Lt. Ripley Goes Shopping

, , , , , , | Right | October 28, 2010

Customer: “Do you have any wasp spray?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we’re currently out. Maybe [Other Store] has it.”

(The customer thanks me and walks away. Thirty minutes later I see him at the checkout with a Super Soaker, some lighters, and a one liter bottle of lighter fluid. I just stare at him in disbelief.)

Customer: “Wish me luck!”

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Her Phone’s Not Much To Look At

| London, UK | Right | October 27, 2010

Customer: “This compensation thing means you can get a phone back, right? I shouldn’t even have to pay. It’s your fault my daughter doesn’t have a phone!”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that Ma’am. Could you please tell me what happened and how it’s our fault? We’ll try to rectify it. Did it break for no reason?”

Customer: “Her teacher took it! She was texting me and the teacher confiscated it! She has no phone until they give it back.”

Me: “Most schools do operate a ban on cell-phones during school hours and inform the students. Ma’am, how is this our fault?”

Customer: “You lot told me when I bought it that it would be perfect for teenagers! There should be something to stop it being seen in school!”

Me: “And how do you suppose we do that?”

Customer: “You’re the techno-geeks, you should be able to make it invisible on and off or something! God! You just don’t work hard enough!” *stomps out angrily*

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Birthday Cele-Berations

| Elkhart, IN, USA | Right | October 27, 2010

Customer: “You don’t have much of a selection for ninetieth birthday parties.”

Me: “Not many people live that long. Most of our suppliers don’t carry anything past the sixtieth birthday decorations.”

Customer: “It’s all because of Obama, you know. With his health care system, they just put you out to pasture once you’re sixty-five, and that’s the end of you. He probably told everyone to stop selling things with eighty and ninety on it, so people won’t want to live as long.”

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That’s What He Thought

| London, UK | Right | October 27, 2010

(A young male customer is paying by card.)

Me: "We’re having problems with our machine at the moment, so when you put it in, just make sure you give it a good wiggle."

Customer: *mumbles* "That’s what she said."

Me: *I laugh*

Customer: "Oh God, did I say it out loud again?!"

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