This One’s In Another Timezone

, | | Right | November 5, 2007

Customer: “Hi, I’ve been here for 15 minutes and I’m trying to find the Ben Sherman shirts.”

Me: (Looks behind her and points) “Ma’am, it’s right behind you.”

Customer: (Turns around) “No, I’m looking for Ben Sherman shirts.”

Me: “Ma’am, the Ben Sherman items are right behind you; there are tons of shirts on the racks right there.”

Customer: “Oh! Do they have any shirts?”

Me: (Deep sigh) “What kind of shirts are you looking for?”

Customer: “I don’t know, any kind as long as they’re Ben Sherman.”

Me: “Button downs? Polos? T-shirts?”

Customer: “You know what, I’m just gonna find someone else to help me.”

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I’m Sure We Have A Book On That Topic

| | Right | November 5, 2007

Customer: “Excuse me, how do I get up the stairs?”

Me: “If you don’t already know, I’m afraid I can’t help you.”

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I Think She Wants A Discount

, | | Right | November 5, 2007

Trainee: “Hey, this woman would like to buy an iPod Touch. But she’s asking for a discount.”

Me, to the lady customer: “Hi, so you’re interested in an iPod Touch?”

Customer: “Discount?”

Me: “Sorry, I can’t offer anything below our tagged price. It already has a guaranteed low price.”

Customer: “Discount?”

Me: “If you’re worried about money, you can choose to apply for a *** card (store’s credit card). With it you can buy this iPod Touch and have three months to pay interest-free.”

Customer: “Okay, so I get a card and get a discount?”

Me: “No, but you have three months to pay.”

Customer: “What’s the price in three months?”

Me: “It’s the same price as now.”

Customer: “Okay. What’s the price after the three months?”

Me: “It is the exact same price as you see here now. But with the card you get three months to pay for it.”

Customer: “Discount?”

Me: “Okay, let’s ring this up for you.”

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Oh, You Mean THOSE Kinds Of Maps

| | Right | November 4, 2007

Bookstore Customer: “Do you sell maps? You know, things with pictures of roads on them?”

Source

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There Once Was a Man From Nantucket …

| | Right | November 4, 2007

(I worked at this local market as a kid during the summers on Nantucket. Here are some questions the tourists asked.)

Random Customer #1: “Where is the beach?” (We’re on an island???)

Random Customer #2: “Where’s main street?” (The store was on main street.)

Random Customer #3: “When did Nantucket become a part of the United States?” (The same time as the rest of Massachusetts. It’s not the 51st state, people.)

Random Customer #4: “What is that one – O-RAY-oh?” (We serve ice cream; Oreo is one of our flavors).

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