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Brain Freeze

, | Brooklyn, NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Popular

(I am about to order ice cream for my two young children. An older lady holding a cone rushes in front of us and pushes my three-year-old out of her way.)

Customer: “Hey, watch your kid!”

(She turns to the cashier.)

Customer: “Excuse me, but this ice cream is just so frozen it’s not even funny.”

Cashier: “I’m sorry about that, ma’am. Would you like me to get a new one?”

Customer: “Yes. And make it less frozen!”

(The cashier gets her another ice cream. She takes a lick and drops it in the nearby trashcan.)

Customer: “This is also too frozen! You have terrible service!”

Cashier: “Well, ma’am, the thing about ice cream is that it tends to freeze. The best advice I have for you is to wait until it melts.”

(The customer stomps off.)

Cashier: *to me* “You know what ice cream is, right?”

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Cucumber Blunder

| USA | Food & Drink, Money, Popular

(We have both native organic cucumbers, and cucumbers from more temperate states on sale. Native cucumbers are 69 cents for one, whereas the shipped-in cucumbers are two for 99 cents. Produce department has signs up advertising the 69 cents price but because the cashiers don’t have a code for native cucumbers and they’re not in our produce lookup on the registers, our manager told us to ring them in as shipped-in cucumbers which is actually a better deal for the customer.)

Customer: “You made a mistake.”

Me: “Sorry?”

Customer: “Look at this.” *thrusts receipt in my face* “Look!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I don’t understand the problem.”

Customer: “Native cukes!”

Me: “What…?”

Customer: “Native cukes! I got them native cukes!”

(I check his receipt and it says he was charged for two cucumbers.)

Me: “How many did you get?”

Customer: “Two!”

Me: “Well, it looks like that’s what you were charged for, so I don’t understand what the problem is. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “69 cents!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Native 69 cents cukes!”

Me: “Okay. Sir, please calm down. I’m having trouble understanding what the issue is.”

Customer: “I’m supposed to be charged 69 cents for native cukes! Look at this! ‘Two cucumbers at two for 99 cents’!”

Me: “Yes, sir, you bought two so you were charged for two. I’m still not understanding what the issue is.”

Customer: “Two. Cukes. 69 cents. Them are 69 cent cukes and I got charged 99 cents for two.”

Me: “Sir. We don’t have a code for native cucumbers. We have to ring them in as standard out-of-state cucumbers. Are you telling me you’re unsatisfied with spending 39 cents less than what you would have had to pay?”

(The customer stares at me like I have three heads, then crumples up his receipt and throws it at me before storming out of the store.)

Me: “Glad we could provide excellent service for you today, sir!”

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Walk A Mile In Her Shoes And She’ll Still Be Stupid

| MI, USA | Bizarre

(I’m helping a customer pick shoes for his son. I’ve explained our smallest size available is on display. He picks up a shoe.)

Customer: “What size is this one?”

Me: “A size eight.”

Customer: “So… DO you actually have this shoe?”

Me: *five seconds of silence trying to process him asking if we really do have the shoe* “I’ll go get the other half to it…”

(He wasn’t the brightest tool in the shed and kept confusing the rest of the transaction.)