The Value Of The Dollar Is Niagara Falling

| Niagara Falls, ON, Canada | Canada, Geography, Money, Tourists/Travel

(The company I work for is one of the many which takes photographs of people in tourist destinations.)

Customer: “I want my photos. They are really nice.”

(The customer proceeds to take out American currency, which is not exact.)

Me: “We can accept the American dollar, but I cannot give you back change in American. You will receive $1.75 cents back in Canadian.”

Customer: “WHAT? WHY?”

Me: “Well, we are in Canada, and it’s our company’s policy. I can take card, if you prefer.”

Customer: “No. I don’t want ANYMORE of your Canadian money. I can’t use it. I don’t care how small the change is, I DO NOT WANT IT.”

Fellow Employee: “You can use it up at the coffee shop if you’d like—”

Customer: “NO. NO COFFEE. NO MORE OF THIS.”

Me: “Well, there’s nothing I can do, then. I am sorry.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous.”

Me: “You are in Canada. Would you anticipate getting American back in say, Britain? Australia? It’s our legal tender. It’s a courtesy we extend to you because our banks also use Canadian currency.”

Customer: “MAYBE I’ll just order online. This is ridiculous.”

Me: “All right, please do so. Have a nice day.”

Fashion Is Dead(Pool)

| CA, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Geeks Rule

(I work in a well-known retail store. A mother comes to my register with her very preppy looking teenage daughter. The daughter is getting two graphic tees. Note that I am also female.)

Me: “So whoever picked out the Deadpool shirt has good taste!”

Daughter: *squeals* “See, Mom! I told you!”

Me: “Yeah, Deadpool is the best! He so awesome.” *the daughter just stares at her mother with the biggest grin* “I read that they finally greenlit the movie.”

Daughter: “Yeah, but I am hoping it isn’t a fan made thing going around.”

Me: “Well, if it isn’t, as long as they don’t replace Ryan Reynolds, I will be happy.”

(At this point the transaction was over and the mother and daughter were walking out with the daughter saying how much Ryan Reynolds sucked. The mother basically had the ‘kill me now’ look on her face the entire time. Score one for the nerds!)

He Is Not The Jaeger Meister

| Hampshire, England, UK | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(It’s late Friday night and there are the usual slightly drunk middle-aged men we normally get in the bar.)

Man: “Excuse me, love, can I have a Sambuca?”

Me: “Yes, which flavour would you like?”

Man: “What have you got?”

Me: *goes through all the flavours*

Man: “Just the normal one.”

Me: *sighs* “Okay.”

(I pour a shot of Sambuca and put it in front of him. He stares at it for a few seconds.)

Man: “That’s not what I wanted.”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Man: “That’s not what I wanted. That’s not Jaeger.”

Me: “You wanted Jaeger?”

Man: “Yeah.”

Me: “But asked for Sambuca?”

Man: “Yeah.”

Me: “…”

(I gave up arguing with him cause it was pointless. He eventually paid for a the shot of Sambuca but still seemed pissed off at me for pouring him the “wrong drink”!)

The Forecast Calls For Stupid

| St Andrews, Scotland, UK | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

(I work reception at a hotel. One afternoon, a guest calls to enquire about availability for some dates in the next few weeks. He has a lot of questions, but the last one is the best.)

Guest: “I have one last question, and I know you won’t be able to answer it.”

Me: “…okay?”

Guest: “What’s the weather looking like over there?”

Me: “Right now?”

Guest: “No, for two weeks from now. The dates I want to book.”

Me: “Umm… I’m not sure. Let me… check the BBC weather online?”

Guest: “No, I’m looking at the weather online and it says it’s going to be rainy.”

Me: “Then it’s going to be rainy!”

Guest: “NO. I want to know how hard it’s going to rain. Like, if it says ‘Rain,’ does that mean driving rain or sprinkling rain or will it even rain at all?”

Me: “Sir, if the weather forecast says it’s going to rain, then it’s going to rain. I can’t predict the weather for you.”

Guest: *sigh* “Well, I KNEW you couldn’t help me!”

The Devil’s Pay Book

| USA | At The Checkout, Health & Body, Money, Religion

(I was checking out an older lady from my church. She never struck me as superstitious at all.)

Me: “Okay that comes to, um, $6.66.”

(Her eyes got wide and she grabbed something off the rack at random.)

Customer: “And this keychain!”

Me: “Okay, that’s $8.63.”

Customer: “Much better. Sorry, but I’m going for surgery Monday. I’m not going to risk it.”

(I told my coworker, her nephew, and he cracked up and bought her a rabbit’s foot, just in case.)

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