Park That Attitude

| VA, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Transportation

(I am visiting a popular tourist area on a busy day. I turn into a lot that you can park in that is attended by a single employee. There are other lots, but this one is closer to the attractions, which is why it is full up. There is a sign that says that you pay in order to exit, but I’m not sure there is a free spot. I stop by his booth first.)

Me: “Hey, the lot looks pretty full. Would I still be charged if I don’t find a spot?”

Attendant: “Nah. I’ll keep an eye on you. If you don’t find a spot, I won’t charge you.”

Me: “Thank you!”

(I drive through and start looking. A few minutes in, I can’t find a space and another car enters the lot to do the same thing. I decide to leave. The other car stops by a median for whatever reason. On my way out, a space opens up near the exit and I am happy about my good luck finding a spot. The other car sees me and zooms over.)

Driver: “Hey! What do you think you’re doing?!”

Me: “Huh? I parked.”

(I walk away. I’m not interested in talking to this guy. The attendant is watching and can hear everything.)

Driver: “That was my space!”

Me: *incredulous look* “What? You were on the other side of the lot. Don’t be ridiculous.”

(I keep walking. At this point, his passenger gets out of the car.)

Passenger: “That was a rotten thing to do!”

Me: “Lady, I got here first and found a spot first. Go across the street.”

Passenger: *to her husband* “Can you believe this?!” *to me* “You spoiled brat! Get in your car and move it right now!”

(I’m 30. I haven’t been called a brat in quite a while. The lady isn’t all that much older than me and I don’t look much younger than my age.)

Me: “Yeah, that’s not happening. Get back in your car and drive away. You are both being absolutely ridiculous.”

Driver: “If you don’t move your car, I’ll f****** move it myself.”

(At this point, the attendant walks over.)

Attendant: “Sir, you need to keep moving. If you can’t find a space, leave the lot.”

Driver: “Don’t f****** tell me what to do! You saw this whore steal the spot from us just now!”


(The attendant stuck his arm out in a gesture of “Hey, I got this.”)

Attendant: “That language is out of line. I’m asking you to leave immediately.”

(The passenger steps toward him with her arms out.)

Passenger: “Are you kidding me?! You SAW what happened! Do something about it!”

Attendant: “I did see what happened. This lady got here six minutes before you. She found a space while you were attempting to park on the median. I’ve taken your license plate down and if you don’t leave, I will be calling the police to remove you from the lot.”

Passenger: “[Driver], Can you believe this?! What has the world come to!”

Driver: “F****** incredible.”

Passenger: “I want to talk to your supervisor. You give me his number and I’m going to tell him what kind of person you are.”

Attendant: “I AM the supervisor and I’m politely declining your unnecessary feedback. Leave immediately.”

(The passenger is absolutely livid when she gets back inside. Her husband is just cursing loudly. The driver gets to the gate, which is blocked off, of course. The attendant takes his sweet time getting there to let him out. I hang back to watch the exchange. The driver has a few more choice words for the attendant before he is let out. I wait for the car to leave and walk up to his booth.)

Me: “Are you seriously the supervisor or do you have a boss that I could call and tell him what kind of person you are?”

Attendant: *smiling* “Nah, here’s my company’s number. They own all the lots here.”

(I did have a nice time and didn’t have to worry about having to hike back to my car since I found such a good space. Needless to say, I gave the attendant a nice little tip on my way out!)

Free From ‘That’ Joke

| France | At The Checkout

(I go to the register with a bunch of items, amongst them a magazine. The magazine does not seem to scan properly. After several attempts, I finally talk to the cashier.)

Me: “You know what, I don’t really need that magazine. I can just put it back if it doesn’t scan.”

(The cashier looks at me, startled.)

Cashier: “I’m sorry; what did you just say?”

Me: “I said it’s okay if it doesn’t work. I don’t need it.”

(She just looks at me intently for a few seconds, unsure of what to say. Finally she talks.)

Cashier: “Thank you.”

Me: “Uh? For what?”

Cashier: “For not saying ‘Oh, then just give it to me for free!’ Everyone always says that.”

Me: “Yeah, that must get old real fast…”

(We look at each other for a moment and burst out laughing. Her husband who also works in the store comes and laughs with us.)

Cashier: “I’ve been doing that job for 25 years. It has never been funny. Thanks for not making that cringing joke!”

(And the magazine finally got scanned in the end! I’m sorry for retailers who hears that “joke” every day…)

Maybe He Should Google That

| Charlotte, NC, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(A harried-looking patron gets up from one of the public-use Internet computers, and approaches the reference desk at the public library where I work.)

Patron: “I want to use Internet Explorer, but GOOGLE keeps popping up!”

Me: “Okay! I’ll come take a look!”

(We get to the computer he’s using, and… IE is up and running.)

Patron: *points to the screen dramatically* “SEE? I TRIED TO USE INTERNET EXPLORER, BUT GOOGLE IS THERE NOW!”

Me: “Uh, you are actually using Internet Explorer already, sir. See that icon on the taskbar, how it’s got a different colored box around it?”


Me: “Okay… Internet Explorer? That’s what you’re using to access the Internet. That’s a web browser. Google is a search engine — you can access Google through Internet Explorer, Firefox, Chrome—”

(The patron starts to draw a breath, but since I already know what he’s going to say, I cut him off.)

Me: “Sir, please type in ‘gmail-dot-com’. And you see, Gmail—”


Me: “Sir, Gmail is owned by Google. But you can see right there that it’s asking for you username and password. That’s where you’ll sign in.”


Me: “You— look, you’re using Internet Explorer. I promise. Okay? I promise.”

(The patron has no trouble signing in…and therefore has nothing else to say to me, though he still seems pretty tightly wound about using Google. The horror! But honestly…what does he think the ‘G’ in ‘Gmail’ stands for?)

Made A Blood Enemy That Day

| Margate, Kent, UK | Bad Behavior, Language & Words, Prank

(My job mainly involves emptying sanitary bins in ladies toilets. I’m about to service a bakery when I see a couple get out of a car and go inside.)

Man: *with thick Spanish accent* “One loaf of [bread].”

Baker: “Okay, that will be a few minutes. There’s just some in the oven.”

Me: “Hi, just here to do the bins.”

Baker: “Okay, go through.”

(As I go through I hear the man speak again.)

Man: *in Spanish* “What a loser to do a job like that.”

(Once I’m done, I went back out to my van. The couple had gone but their car was still there. I went back inside and asked to borrow some red food colouring. They let me take a very small bottle and I went back to my van, grabbed a tampon that I use to stock machines with, dipped the end in the food colouring, and then left it on the window of his car. When I next went to the bakery they told me they got a giggle out of his reaction.)

Playing The Claim Blame Game

| OK, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Money, Transportation

(I work for an independent insurance agent. I have one customer that for years has “forgotten” to add her son as a driver to her policy. He then proceeds to have several claims without being listed. This family cost the company $17,000 in claims, most of it happening when he was driving. He comes in one day for help with yet another accident; this one isn’t legally his fault. I’m fairly certain that he contributed to it, but legally, it’s not his fault.)

Me: “I’m glad you’re here! I need your driver’s license number. The company is asking for us to add you to your mom’s policy.”

Son: “Okay.”

(He has a blank look, and hands me his driver’s license. I help him file the claim. He’s fairly certain it’s a total loss. I call his mother.)

Me: “Hi, [Customer], I saw [Son] today and I helped him file a claim on someone’s policy. The company wants us to add your son or exclude him because he obviously owns and drives the pickup on the policy. Let me see what that’s going to cost.”

Customer: “Now, wait a minute; that’s going to cost too much! I can’t pay it.”

Me: *expecting this* “Well, they’re going to non-renew you if you don’t.”

Customer: “Can’t you just move me to another company?”

Me: “Only if we add or exclude [Son]. I know he drives your car and I know he owns the pickup. If I lie on your application it’s a violation of our contract with the carrier and you lying on your application voids your contract and means they don’t have to pay claims.”

Customer: “Well, that’s just ridiculous! How am I supposed to afford these things?”

Me: “Maybe you and [Son] should find him a pickup he can pay cash for and only carry liability?”

Customer: “He works very hard; he deserves a nice vehicle!”

Me: “That’s true, but if you can’t afford the insurance on a vehicle it’s a good idea to not have to work to support a car. Especially at that age. It’s just too hard.”

(He’s 22 with a toddler and a fiancé. He’s no baby.)

Customer: “Are you saying he doesn’t deserve it?”

Me: “No, ma’am. I’m saying when I was that age and my insurance cost my parents a lot because I got into two little wrecks they made sure I only needed liability so our family could afford it. I was working through college. Insurance was the only thing I’d let them pay and I was living on my own. It was just more practical.”

Customer: “Well, I know other families who don’t list their kids on their insurance.”

Me: “It’s not right when they do it either. They get caught and have to do the same thing.”

Customer: “Well, I’ll just find another insurance.”

Me: “You do whatever you have to do. I’m going to have to write his new vehicle on his own policy with his real address and his girlfriend listed on it if we write him. I can’t do it any other way. If you don’t want to pay for him on yours you’ll have to exclude him.”

(Unfortunately, she did not find another insurance company.)

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