Last Of The NonFictions

| Edmonton, AB, USA | Right | May 4, 2010

(I am a customer and I have been looking all over for a certain book. I see someone reading it.)

Me: “Excuse me, but could you show me where you found that?”

Girl: “Yeah, just follow me!”

(She leads me to a shelf of books.)

Girl: “I found it right there!”

Me: “I don’t see it.”

Girl: “Oh, that’s because I took the last one!”

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Not Caught Up In The Web

| Tucson, AZ, USA | Right | May 4, 2010

Me: “Thank you for calling. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “My mother’s computer won’t connect to the Internet.”

Me: “All right, let’s see if we can figure out the issue.”

(I spend five minutes troubleshooting the connection, and still can’t get it connected.)

Me: “I can’t find anything wrong with your computer. Is it a desktop or a laptop?”

Customer: “I don’t know. She’s in Florida, so I’ll have to call and ask her.”

Me: “Okay, do you happen to know her Internet service provider?”

Customer: “Yes, it’s you guys.”

Me: “Sir, we’re a repair center. Are you sure she has Internet?”

Customer: “Doesn’t it come free with the computer?”

Me: “No, They stopped doing that a while ago.”

Customer: “Figures. I’ll tell her!”

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A Father’s Love Is Very Console-ing

| Scotland, UK | Right | May 4, 2010

Customer: “Excuse me, could you give me some advice please?”

Me: “Sure, how can I help?”

Customer: “I was looking to buy a Nintendo 360 for my son.”

Customer’s Son: “Dad! It’s an Xbox360!”

Customer, to me: “This is how much help I need. Would you please?”

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No Clue At The Zoo

| Utah, USA | Right | May 4, 2010

(We are hosting a visiting special exhibit featuring animals endemic to Madagascar. A customer approaches me.)

Customer: “Excuse me, I don’t think I saw the Madagascar inside the exhibit.”

Me: “I’m sorry, what?”

Customer: “The Madagascar. Was that the furry thing in the glass cage?”

Me: “Madagascar is a country, ma’am. It’s an island nation off the coast of Africa.”

Customer: “Don’t lie to me! I’ve seen the movie!

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Likely To Cause IRE (Ironic Resourceful Ethics)

| New Orleans, LA, USA | Right | May 3, 2010

(I am working near a copy station, and a woman comes up with a large stack of papers.)

Customer: “Do you have any zip ties to bind this with?”

Me: “Sure, here.”

(As she binds the papers, I see the word “Ethics” on the first page.)

Me: “Oh, is this for an Ethics class?”

Customer: “Yes! I didn’t want to pay for the book, so I photocopied it. Do you think the professor is going to like how resourceful I am?”

Me: “I’m sure you’ll have a very lively discussion about it.”

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