Hopeless

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(A customer comes up behind my counter just as I am about to serve another customer)

Customer: “Excuse me, but why isn’t this WA Salvage?”

Me: “Because all the WA Salvages closed down and we bought the building.”

Customer: “So where’s the nearest one?”

Me: “Uh, they’ve all been bought out.”

The customer I was serving: “Mate, there aren’t anymore, they all closed down!”

Customer: “So wheres the nearest one?”

*I give him a bad look, turn around and continue serving*

Pissing Against The Wind Is An Art Form

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Male Customer: “Two for American Gangster…we have 2 free passes.”

Me: “I’m sorry sir, but that movie just opened today and it isn’t currently accepting passes. To use these I’ll have to charge you $1.50 upgrade per ticket.”

Male Customer: “That’s ridiculous. It doesn’t say that anywhere on it.”

Me: *pointing to where it says that* “I’m sorry sir but it does. I’ll have to charge you the $3.”

Female Customer: “But we came early so we knew you wouldn’t sell out! Why can’t you just give it to us?”

Me: “I’m sorry but its a corporate policy. I cannot give anyone a free pass to this movie, not even employees. It’s not even an option on the computer.”

Male Customer: *mumbles under his breath while he reaches for his wallet*

Female Customer: “We shouldn’t have to pay $3 to see the movie! If there’s more than 25 people in there I’m going to report you to a manager!”

Time To Stuff Someone’s Mailbox w/Flat Lids

, | Hall of Fame, Top

Customer, upon receiving her Moolatte: “This has a round lid, can I have a flat lid?”

Me: “I’m sorry, the only lid that fits that cup is a dome lid.”

Customer: “But I want a flat lid, Starbucks always gets me a flat lid! Why can’t you?!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but the flat lids we have won’t fit that cup.”

Customer: “I want to speak with your manager.” *mutters* “Stupid kids…”

(I go and get my manager)

Manager: “What’s the problem, ma’am?”

Customer: “This stupid employee of yours won’t give me a flat lid!” *brandishes the drink in his face*

(My manager takes one of every single lid in the store and puts them in front of her)

Manager: “Go ahead then.”

Customer: *proceeds to try and put the lids on the cup, none of which fit* “This is ridiculous! Why don’t you have a flat lid?! Starbucks always has a flat lid!!”

Manager: “Then go buy your drinks there and leave my employees alone.”

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Third Time’s A Charm

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(Our mall opens at ten, so the restaurant does not serve breakfast)

Customer: *gazes at menu board* “I’d like an Egg McMuffin, please.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, we don’t serve breakfast at this location.”

(Customer, still gazing at menu, which lists no breakfast items)

Customer: “Well, can I get an order of Hotcakes and Sausage?”

Me: “Ma’am, we do not serve breakfast here since we can’t open before ten.”

(Customer ceases looking at menu board gazes at me for a moment)

Customer: “You don’t serve breakfast?”

Me: “Uh…no.”

Umm … Check The Produce Aisle

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Customer in the frozen food aisle: “Do you have ice cream?”

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