Thinking Outside The Box, Part 2

| Derby, KS, USA | Right | May 20, 2011

(Our store has a drive thru pick up window. There is no speaker box. We notice a minivan parked about 10 feet from the window, just sitting there.)

Manager: “Go act like you’re sweeping the sidewalk. While you’re out there, try and get a good look as to what this van is up to.”

(I go outside and report back.)

Manager: “Well, what is she doing?”

Me: “Talking to our wall, saying that we need to answer her.”

(My manager sticks his head out of the window, and tells her to pull forward. She pulls up to the window.)

Me: “How may I hel-”

Customer: *shouting* “I just spent 10 minutes at your speaker box and no one answered me! This is an outrage! I demand to be given the corporate phone number!”

Me: “Ma’am, we don’t have a speaker box. I can take your order, if you’d like.”

Customer: *still shouting* “Then what is that on your wall?”

Me: “Well, that’s a sign saying what we have on special.”

Customer: “So, it’s not a speaker box?”

Me: “No, it’s a nylon poster.”

Customer: “Oh, I’ll take a pepperoni pizza.”

 

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It’s Time To Stamp Out Stupidity

| Terre Haute, IN, USA | Right | May 19, 2011

Me: “May I have your address, please?”

Caller: “I don’t need to know my address. The postman knows where I live.”

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Not So Good After All

| GA, USA | Right | May 19, 2011

Customer: “Can I make my payment on Friday?”

Me: “We’re closed on Good Friday, since Easter is Sunday.”

Customer: “Good Friday is on a Friday?!”

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About To Be A War Of The Roses

| Columbia, MO, USA | Right | May 19, 2011

(The customer is purchasing a large bouquet of flowers.)

Me: “Wow! That’s a big arrangement. Is it a birthday, anniversary or apology?”

Customer: “I slept with my girlfriend’s sister last night.”

Me: “I’m going make you up something bigger with more roses. There’s a gourmet chocolate shop down the road.”

Customer: “Thanks.”

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A Mother’s Love Is Priceless, For Everything Else There’s Credit Cards

| Dayton, OH, USA | Right | May 19, 2011

(A little girl walks up to me and my coworker. She is crying.)

Me: “Oh, honey. What’s wrong?”

Girl: “I can’t find my mom.”

Me: “Well, I can page over the speaker for her. What’s her name?”

(She gives me the name. My coworker gets a description of her mother as I page. When it’s a lost child, all we say is ‘We have something of yours’ for safety reasons. This is to make sure the child does go with their actual parent.)

Girl: “I think she left.”

Coworker: “No, she didn’t. She’s probably looking for you.”

Girl: “She said she was going to leave me if I didn’t keep up.”

Me: “She didn’t mean it. Don’t worry, she’ll be here.”

(We get the girl to talk about her school and dog to keep her mind off how scared she is. It is the longest we have waited for a parent to come. Her mother finally gets there, and stops as soon as she sees her daughter.)

Mother: “Oh, you! I thought I lost my credit card. Well, come on already! You’ve slowed me down enough.”

(The girl quietly walks over to her mother.)

Mother, to me: “Next time, just say it’s my daughter so I know not to rush!”

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