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Needs To Work On His Socialist Skills, Part 4

, , , , , | Right | October 5, 2020

I am working at the checkout.

Me: “Sir, your total is $75.55. Would you like to round up to $76 and support [Charity that supports veterans]?

Customer: “What? H*** no! I believe a person should be able to stand on their own two feet!”

Me: “Very well, sir.”

I don’t expect every customer to donate so I quietly move on. For this customer, however, I seem to have hit a nerve.

Customer: “It’s just un-American, it is! Begging for money!”

Me: “Please swipe your card, sir.”

He swipes his card as he continues ranting.

Customer: “Those d*** communists wouldn’t think twice about it! Those d*** Commie countries in Europe think they have all the answers!”

I have no idea how asking to round up his dollar has resulted in this rant about communism and Europe but I am glad the transaction is over.

Me: “Your receipt, sir. Have a nice day!”

Customer: “You agree, don’t you? People should be able to stand on their own two feet or get out of the country!”

Me: “Sir, the charity we are supporting in this store is for some people who, in defending this country, literally have no feet.”

Customer: “Well… I… uh…”

I turned to the next customer and started their transaction. The anti-communist stood there for a moment before deciding it was best to leave.

Related:
Needs To Work On His Socialist Skills, Part 3
Needs To Work On His Socialist Skills, Part 2
Needs To Work On His Socialist Skills

In Soviet Russia, Rooms Rest You!

, , , , | Right | August 7, 2017

(My family moved from Sweden to America when I was a teenager. As a result, we had pretty obvious accents. In high school, I got a job at a clothing store. Most people who heard me speak either seemed curious and would ask me where I was from or simply didn’t comment. One day, an older man walked into the store and came up to me.)

Man: “Hello, I was wondering if you could point me to the restrooms?”

Me: “Oh, of course! They’re just down this aisle. I can show you if you’d like.”

(The man stared at me suspiciously for a few long moments before he motioned for me to step a little closer. I did so nervously. His expression was very, very grave and serious.)

Man: “Tell me straight. Are you a communist?”

(I barely managed to suppress my laughter and assured him that I was not a communist. I then quickly showed him to the restrooms and proceeded to laughed myself sick.)


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Be Careful With Those RED Sox

| Right | May 18, 2017

(I work at a very popular retail store as a cashier. I live close to Washington, so my area has a lot of Seahawks fans. One day an older gentleman comes in with some merchandise and I’m checking him out when…)

Me: “You must be a big fan of the Seahawks, huh?”

Customer: “Yes, I like them a lot. What’s your favorite football team?”

Me: “I don’t really like football. I’m not much of a sports person.”

Customer: “Well, how are you going to get a man if you don’t like football?!”

Me: “I have a man already, actually, so I don’t need to go get one.”

Customer: “Well, he better train you right and have you watch football with him! I’m surprised he even wants you!”

Me: “He doesn’t like football either, sir, so it doesn’t matter.”

Customer: “What kind of people don’t like football?! Do you know what you two are?!”

Me: “What are we, sir?”

Customer: “You guys are communists!”

(The customer walked away glaring at me. He’s come back to our store multiple times since then, but takes care to avoid me.)


This story is part of our Ignorant-About-Communism roundup!

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In Soviet Russia, Watermelon Likes You!

, , , , , | Related | June 23, 2016

(It’s Memorial Day weekend and the whole family is spending the weekend together, including my cousin and her four-year-old daughter. We are in the kitchen preparing snacks before we go outside to enjoy the beautiful day.)

Cousin: “Who wants watermelon?”

Kids: “Me!”

Cousin: “Who doesn’t like watermelon?”

Four-Year-Old Daughter: “Communists!”


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In Soviet Russia, Cream Whips You

| Related | October 15, 2015

(I’m in the process of making a dessert that requires a measured amount of whipped cream, so I check the recommended serving size to make sure the container has enough whipped cream in it to begin with and I’m Skyping with my sister while I work.)

Me: “Who the heck only eats two tablespoons of whipped cream?!”

Sister: “Communists.”