Literally Screams For Ice Cream

, , , , | Right | July 2, 2020

A car pulls up in the drive-thru lane.

Customer: “Why do you not have ice cream?!”

Coworker: “Sorry, sir, our machine is currently broken. We are waiting for a delivery for a new part, so until then, we are unable to fix it.”

Customer: “What are you going to do about it? I want ice cream!”

Coworker: “Sorry, sir, there isn’t anything we can do until we get the part. There are two other [Restaurant]s in our town; they should have ice cream.”

Customer: “That’s not good enough!”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, sir, but there isn’t anything I can do other than send you to one of our other restaurants.”


Coworker: “Unfortunately, sir, I can’t. The other restaurants will have ice cream.”


Coworker: “Sir, I can’t sell you [product] while the machine is broken.”

Customer: “NOT GOOD ENOUGH! F*** THIS!”

The customer sped off out the drive-thru lane. Luckily, there wasn’t a car in front of him.

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Hilarious Bad Customer Stories From Every State: Montana – Oregon

| Right | July 2, 2020

Dear readers,

For our readers from the United States, we are approaching that loud and delicious holiday known as July 4th. To celebrate, Not Always Right is dusting off the archives to find a couple of stories from each and every US state, to give all our readers a brief but entertaining tour of The Great States Of Not Always Right!

Today: Montana – Oregon!



Havana Clue What She’s Talking About – This customer is racist and bad at geography!

Studying Post-Grammatic Stress – And this is a university student. Sigh.


Time Waits For No Customer

, , , | Right | July 2, 2020

I work in a small bicycle shop where we repair bikes. Rather than an unreliable appointment system, we accept bikes as they come in and line them up to be worked on, with an estimate of which day they will be ready.

A female customer walks in and looks around at things before asking:

Customer: “If I bring my bike in tomorrow, will you be able to have it done by the end of the day?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but right now we’re a little full up on bikes. If you brought it in right now, it would be done by Saturday afternoon. But if somebody else brings their bike in, that will no longer be true.”

Customer: “Are you sure? I talked to [Owner] and he said that he could have my bike done tomorrow.”

Me: “It is maybe possible. But if he told you this a few days ago, then it would have been in relation to that day. We accept bikes first-come-first-served.”

Customer: “I don’t think that’s right. Go get him, you’ll see.”

I go and get the owner and he comes out a little annoyed.

Customer: “If I bring my bike in, you’ll be able to get it done tomorrow, right?”

Owner: “Absolutely not. We’re booked through the weekend. We wouldn’t get it done until Tuesday.”

The customer looked shocked and mumbled about waiting until we were less busy.

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The Ignorance Discount

, , , , , | Right | July 2, 2020

Me: “Thank you for calling [Bakery]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi. I just purchased an assortment of your cupcakes which are falsely advertised as nut-free! I am bringing these to a school so they have to be nut-free!”

Me: “I can assure you that our entire facility is peanut- and tree-nut-free.”

Customer: “Don’t lie to me. I can see that some of these cupcakes have coconut!”

Me: “Coconut isn’t a nut. It can be classified as a seed or a fruit, but is not part of the ‘nut’ family or associated with a nut allergy.”

Customer: “Are you stupid?! It’s called a coco-nut for a reason! I need a manager immediately!”

I hand the phone to my manager who has heard the conversation and is hysterically laughing. This is not the first time we have received one of these calls but I am always the one to answer.

Manager: “I am terribly sorry, but we do not give refunds for ignorance or lack of knowledge. Have a great day.” *Click*

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What An &&&-hole

, , , , | Right | July 2, 2020

I work in a bakery, helping customers place orders for cakes and other baked goods. One dark day, I answer the phone to this:

Customer: “I need to order a cake.”

The customer provides contact information and describes the type of cake.

Me: “Would you like a message written on it?”

Customer: “Yes, I’d like, ‘Happy Birthday [Name #1] and [Name #2].’ But instead of ‘and,’ could you use an ampersand?”

Me: “An… ampersand?”

Customer: “The symbol for ‘and.’”

I’ve never heard the term before, but of course, I am familiar with what he is talking about.

Me: “Oh, do you mean the one that looks like a treble clef?”

Customer: “No! It’s the backward three with a line through it! You know what? Next time, why don’t you find someone with a higher level of education to take my cake order?”

The customer hangs up. I stare at the phone and then go into the office and tell my coworkers on break what happened. Halfway through the story, one of them bolts straight up in her chair.


I later discovered that I was in the right: the ampersand refers to the symbol that resembles a treble clef.

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