Signs Of Good Faith Stopped Happening A While Back

, , , | Right | October 18, 2019

(I recently started working in a call center for a large cable and Internet provider. I will admit, my company’s not-so-great reputation is not entirely unearned, but some of our customers consistently leave me stunned at the level of entitlement. One of my favorite examples goes as follows:)

Me: “Good afternoon. Thank you for calling [Call Center]; how can I help you today?”

Customer: “I know I have a past due balance, but I need you to turn my cable back on.”

(This is a common opening remark and I’m always willing to do what I can to help out. Unfortunately, in this case, the only way to get his cable working again is to pay the past due. When I explain this, the customer has one zinger of a remark.)

Customer: “I’ll pay you the past due only after, as a sign of good faith, you restart my cable.”

(At that point, I could only tell him that no, that’s not how that works. He proceeded to swear up a storm and hang up. What did he expect when his account was $1300 in the hole?)

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, , | Right | October 18, 2019

(One of my jobs at my bank is to send cash by wire transfer. When someone comes up to do this, I have to ask them questions to make sure they aren’t getting scammed or sending for fraudulent activity. One of the most common of these is someone sending money to their “girlfriend” or “boyfriend” that they met online that needs them to send them money “to come to see them.”)

Customer: “I would like to send money to the Bahamas.”

Me: “Okay, who are you sending to?”

Customer: “It’s to my daughter. She needs it for airfare.”

Me: “Okay, that sounds good. What is your daughter’s name?”

(The customer then pulls out his cell phone and reads off a name from his text messages. This sends up a huge red flag that he may not know the person he’s sending to.)

Me: “Sir, you just read a name off to me. I thought you were sending to your daughter.”

Customer: “I am.”

Me: “But you just read me a name. Do you not know your daughter’s name?”

Customer: “This is the name I was told to send to. Are you calling me a liar? This is my daughter I’m sending money to.”

(He then turns his phone around and shows me his text messages. Above the name he was sent was someone requesting money, and above that were two texts from the night before saying, “Good night, my love.”)

Me: “Sir, this isn’t your daughter, and if it is, I don’t really want to know why you two talk to each other like that.”

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Will Not Be Influenced By The Influencer, Part 2

, , , , | Right | October 18, 2019

(I recently started working in a café in a fancy neighborhood, the kind that gets snobby ladies with their small dogs. The kitchen just closed and we’re getting the last orders out to the customers. I approach a table with two ladies sitting and give them their food.)

Customer: *snaps her fingers* “Sweetie, sorry, but I also ordered fries.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, but the kitchen gave me everything for your order. Let me just go check.”

(I highly doubt the kitchen has forgotten to make her fries, as they always closely check orders, but I check, and there’s nothing there for her. By now, the kitchen has been mostly cleaned and closed.)

Me: “Sorry, there really isn’t anything else. The kitchen is closed, but I can give you a free slice of cake after you’ve eaten, instead?”

Customer: “Ugh, no, I can’t have cake!”

Me: “Well… Should I bring you some more bread?”

Customer: “I can’t have bread, either!”

(I eye her bread bowl; she’s eating our other kind of bread so it isn’t a gluten allergy.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but I’m out of options now.”

Customer: “But I’m going to be hungry! This isn’t enough; I wanted my fries! Young lady, I am a highly influential person on Instagram! I have over fifteen thousand followers! I just posted about being here; you’re going to lose a lot of customers! I’ll tell all of my friends!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but you didn’t want any of the options I gave you, so I don’t know what to tell you.”

Customer: “I’ll tell my fifteen thousand followers about this!”

Me: “Again, I’m sorry, but the kitchen is closed.”

(With that, I walked off and BARELY made it behind the counter before I burst into laughter. She really tried to threaten us with her fifteen thousand followers!)

Will Not Be Influenced By The Influencer

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Black Friday So Popular It Now Starts On A Tuesday

, , , , , | Right | October 18, 2019

I am the customer. It is the day after I turned 54. Late on the evening of my birthday, I fell over an uneven sidewalk, resulting in scrapes and bruises. While I did not hit my head, I think trauma from the fall is my only excuse for what happened here.

As I’m checking out, I notice a sign about how age 55 and over get a discount on the first Tuesday of the month and comment that in a year, I’ll have to start shopping on Tuesday. The cashier mentions that, during the holidays, the discount is every Tuesday. My response: “That’ll be especially good in years when Black Friday falls on a Tuesday!” 

Maybe I was thinking of the day after Christmas?

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It’s Mrs. Fraud!

, , , , , | Right | October 18, 2019

(This is back in the days before chip and PIN. A customer comes up to pay for her purchase with a card. I check the signature and it’s completely different, but not just different writing, a different name. I turn the card over to check the name, and it’s distinctly a man’s name, and she is an unremarkable middle-aged woman.)

Me: “This isn’t your card.”

Customer: “No, it’s my husband’s.”

Me: “Well, you can’t use it.”

(She holds up bags from half a dozen other stores and says:)

Customer: “No one else said anything.” 

(Yup, she’d spent hundreds of dollars on a card she wasn’t even pretending was hers, and no one else had noticed.)

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