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Returner Burner, Part 4

| IL, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

(It’s my first week on the job, and really excited about it (stupid me) because at the time I really liked retail. I’m in training. I’m shadowing my manager at the register. A woman comes in with a pair of shoes that she wants to return. I’ve known this since the day I started: there is a very strict return policy that says that the shoes must be UNWORN and returned within SEVEN DAYS of purchasing. It’s on every single receipt printed from the register, and there’s a rather large sign in front of the register, right where the woman is standing.)

Customer: “Excuse me, I need to return these.”

Coworker: “Do you have your receipt?”

Customer: “Yes, here. These shoes simply don’t fit me and are uncomfortable so I need to return them.”

Coworker: “Well, ma’am, it says here that you paid for these a month ago.”

Customer: *quickly getting belligerent* “So?”

Coworker: “Ma’am, we cannot take these back. Our return policy says that we cannot. However, we can do an exchange if you’d like—”

Customer: “Your return policy? No one ever said anything about a return policy!”

(I slowly reach in front of the computer and tap the sign about the return policy. I clear my throat politely. The woman stares at it as though the words are going to jump out and murder her.)

Coworker: *politely* “We would have told you when you bought the shoes, as that’s part of our company policy. It was also on the bottom of your receipt, ma’am, right here. It’s the part that takes up most of the receipt.”

(The customer grabs the shoes, glares at us, and takes off, scoffing at us the entire way.)

Me: “So…”

Coworker: *sighing* “Sadly that’s not the dumbest thing I’ve seen all week.”

(I was at that job nearly two years after that.)

Related:
Returner Burner, Part 3
Returner Burner, Part 2
Returner Burner

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Email Fail, Part 8

| HI, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

Me: “All right, Mr. [Customer]. Your flight date change has been confirmed and issued a new ticket for. All I need to do is to send you an email so let me verify the email address on file.” *reads back his Gmail address*

Customer: “No, no, no! That one is in Maui. I’m in Honolulu right now; I’ll give you another one.”

Related:
Email Fail, Part 7
Email Fail, Part 6
Email Fail, Part 5

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The Day The Music Died

| IA, USA | Crazy Requests, Musical Mayhem

(This happens to my coworker. I work in a shop that sells instruments. A customer actually comes into our shop and says the following:)

Customer: “I have a $50 gift card to Amazon and I’d like to use that to buy an instrument on Amazon. Can you tell me what brand of instrument I should buy?”

Coworker: *facepalm*

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Her Excuse Is Not So Fresh

| IN, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I am scanning a lady’s groceries at the checkout. She has several containers of a brand of guacamole that is packaged without a re-sealable top.)

Lady: “I love this guacamole you carry! Too bad it spoils so fast.”

Me: “Well, they are freshly made, so it’s important to keep them chilled.”

Lady: “I mean, they go bad in a matter of hours! I should really be able to return them!”

Me: “Pardon?”

Lady: “I have to buy a lot so I always have some! I mean really, why do they come in such large packages if it spoils so quickly?”

Me: “Well, it will go brown on the top if the lid is off for a matter of time, but that’s just an oxidization reaction, like in apples, so it’s still fresh.”

Lady: “I should get a refund every time this guacamole spoils!”

Me: “Guacamole does not go bad that quickly. It’s still perfectly edible even if there’s slight discoloration.”

Lady: *taking receipt and her several tubs of guacamole* No! It spoils! I’ll get my money back one of these days!”

Coworker: *once she has left the building* “The only thing spoiled here is her.”

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What Price Loyalty?

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior

(I am working at a big box hardware store. At the time, our pets policy is very lax but we stress that mainly dogs to help vision-impaired shoppers are the only animals allowed in. However, this did not stop a lot of people, especially the older customer in my line with a dog in his cart.)

Me: “Sir, just to let you know, we can only have service animals in here.”

Customer: “You know what? FINE! I hate this place! You tell your manager I’m never shopping here again and he can shove the policy up his ***!”

(The customer pays but he uses a gift card which now only has about a $5 balance remaining on it.)

Me: *about to hand the card back* “Wait, did you want me to throw this away?”

Customer: “Of course not! Why?”

Me: “You said you hated it here. You said you were never gonna shop here again…”

Customer: “Well, uh… umm.”

Me: “So, for five dollars, you’ll be back.”

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