Makes You Want To Bury Your Head In The Sand

| USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I’m working a sand art booth at a fair that comes to my city every year. I had the sand set up in the front of the booth so the kids could see it and fill up their jar with whatever colors they like. A little boy that looks around 8 or 9 years old approaches my booth.)

Little Boy: “Excuse me, miss.”

Me: “Hello. How may I help you?”

Little Boy: “What flavors are each of these?”

Me: “Um… it’s sand.”

(The little boy looks at me in confusion. After a few seconds he points to the purple container of sand.)

Little Boy: “So… is the purple grape flavored?”

H2-Slowly Getting There

| PA, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Money

(I work in a restaurant that primarily serves FRIED chicken and I’m running the drive-thru.)

Customer: “Uh, yeah, how do you make your chicken?”

Me: “We bread and deep-fry it, sir.”

Customer: “So you mean in grease?”

Me: “Yes, sir, in grease.”

Customer: “Do you have any chicken sandwiches?”

Me: “Yes the numbers 2, 3, and 4.”

Customer: “Oh. How much for a glass of water?”

Me: “That’s free, sir.”

Customer: “Okay, I’ll have that.”

(This conversation took four minutes. All he wanted was water.)

They’re Like A Fish Out Of Water

| NSW, Australia | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Pets & Animals

(I am in a chain pet store when I overhear a conversation between a middle-aged lady, a young teenage girl and a store employee. The teen is looking at the fish display which is split into warm and cold fish.)

Teen: “Oh, this one is pretty cool!” *points at one of the “cold” fish, before moving over to the warm display* “—and this one, the angel fish!”

Lady: “Um, I think they are a warm and a cold fish… They don’t go well together.”

Teen: “So? I’m sure they will get along.”

Employee: “That’s not the point, ma’am. One lives in warm water and one lives in cold water. They are more likely to get sick and die if they are not correctly taken care of.”

Teen: “So? I’ll just put them together; they will be fine.”

Lady: “This employee just said they will probably die if you put them together. I’m not going to waste money on this.”

Employee: “We do have a 30-day return on fish that die, but I cannot in good conscience sell you these creatures if you aren’t going to take care of them properly.”

Teen: “But you will make money. Why do you care?”

Employee: “Because believe it or not, everyone who works here cares about the animals in our care. Actually, do you have everything set up ready to go or were you just looking today?”

Teen: “Oh, I was just going to put them in a goldfish bowl. They will be fine.”

Employee: *looking strained but trying to keep her cool* “We advise that you have a proper tank set up for a minimum of a month before introducing fish to it. A bowl for a goldfish only works if you clean it daily if it does not have a filter.”

Teen: “You don’t need to clean them! I want fish because you don’t ha—”

Lady: *interrupting her* “I’ve heard enough. You said you had done research on this and that everything was ready. This is why your pets keep dying. I’m going to go buy you a plant instead.” *turns to the employee* “Thank you for your help. Good bye.”

You’re A Good Egg

| UT, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

Me: “Bacon and scrambled eggs, please.”

Employee:Just bacon and scrambled eggs?”

Me: “Yeah, that’s all.”

Employee:You can come back any time.”

(Which made me think that he had, in his head, told a number of customers to go to Hell this morning.)

Thou Shalt Not Pay Full Price

| CA, USA | Bizarre, Religion

(I work at a hardware store. I come across a man in an aisle with his head bowed down.)

Me: “Can I help you find anything, sir?”

Customer: “No, thanks. I’m just praying for a coupon.”

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