Planning To Walk A Mile In Another Man’s Shoes

| FL, USA | Right | March 26, 2013

(I’m a cashier at a sports store. A customer comes up with just a few items, one being a small shoebox. I open the box and there are two dirty old kid’s shoes inside.)

Customer: “Oh, my son has them on; he’s somewhere else in the store.”

Me: “I just need to see the shoes before I ring them up, and make sure they are right.”

Customer: “Oh, uh…”

(He calls his son—who is standing ducked behind the candy aisle—over.)

Customer: “Here!”

(He cheerfully points at his son.)

Me: “I have to see them up-close.”

(He picks his son up and holds his feet out.)

Customer: “See?”

Me: “Can I get one of those?”

Customer: “Sure?”

(He’s not smiling as much now, and pops one of the shoes off.I check the shoe. It’s the same brand, same size, but different style number.)

Me: “Oh, you’ve got the wrong shoe. Are these the ones you want? I can call for the right box.”

(He puts on a big show of arm movements and smacking his forehead.)

Customer: “Aww buddy! We got the wrong shoes! We got the wrong shoes, buddy. We’ll be right back.”

(He takes back the box. I wait for a while, holding his other items. I call the shoe department to tell them about the man, and find out the box was for a much cheaper pair of kid’s shoes. I let my manager know, and she heads off after him. When the man returns, I am alone.)

Customer: “Here we go!”

(I check the box: same brand and style number. I nod, smile, and ring them up. My manager walks up, not smiling at all, and holds out another box.)

Manager: “You wanted this too, right?”

(He looks rather wide-eyed and quiet. He suddenly smiles and takes the box, nodding.)

Customer: “Yeah, right! I lost this, thank you! I was going to ask for it. Haha.”

(I ring up the box and the man leaves with his son. My manager says she followed my tip and found him putting on some adult shoes himself, determined to get a free pair. She just brought up the box for the shoes he was going to steal.)

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Getting Into Double-Double Trouble

| Brampton, ON, Canada | Right | March 26, 2013

(I witness a medium-sized customer, wearing a business suit, ordering coffee.)

Customer: “I thought I told you to make a double-double with milk, not this swill with cream!”

Cashier: “I’m sorry, sir. I’ll remake it for you.”

Customer: “D*** f****** right you will. Morons like you shouldn’t even have a job.”

Me: “Hey! The lady made a mistake and she’s remaking it for you. Calm the h*** down.”

Customer: “Screw you buddy. She didn’t make it right—”

Me: “That doesn’t give you the right to be a complete a**. Shut up and take your drink.”

Customer: “And just what are you going to do about it?”

(I fully stand up. I am a heavy-set, 6’2″ guy. I grab him by the tie and yank him to towards me. I speak very calmly.)

Me: “I just lost my job. I’m in a bad mood. I want my tea so I can read in peace and try to cheer myself up. If you want to really know what I can do, keep talking. I’ll fold you into a pretzel.”

(The customer turns deathly white. He reels around and runs out the door. I make my way up to the register.)

Me: “Steeped tea. Double-double with milk. Double cupped please.”

Cashier: “No problem.”

(A customer in line behind me speaks up.)

Customer #2: “I’ll have the same, and I’ll pay for both.”

Me: “You don’t need to do that, sir.”

Customer #2: “You defended that woman, even after dealing with some pretty horrible news. Don’t worry about it.”

Me: “Well… if you insist.”

(Customer #2 pays for my tea and sits down with me, asking about what I did for a living. Turns out, his store is looking for a new computer-tech, and he offers me the job right there. Lesson learned? Don’t underestimate the power of sticking up for people.)

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Alphabet Soup

| Right | March 26, 2013

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No ID-ea Who Is Hiding Under There

| Richmond, VA, USA | Right | March 25, 2013

(A coworker and I are working under our walk-up counter; we’re running cables for a new computer station. I overhear a customer talking to the tiny freshman girl working above us at the counter.)

Customer: “I’m here to pick up my laptop.”

Female Coworker: “Okay, it looks like it’s all paid up. I just need to see your ID.”

Customer: “What? Why?”

Female Coworker: “I just need to verify it’s your computer.”

Customer: “Well I don’t have my ID. Just give it to me.”

Female Coworker: “I’m sorry, sir, but we can’t—”

(There are the sounds of quick struggle. She steps back holding the laptop.)

Female Coworker: “Sir, you can’t take the laptop without ID! Now you need to leave or I will have to have you escorted out.”

(I pop up to see what’s going on. The customer looks at me and laughs.)

Customer: “Him? This little b**** is going to escort me out? I’d love to see that!”

Me: “She didn’t mean me…”

(My other co-worker, who was still under the desk, grabs the edge of the counter and hauls his 300lb. self up to his full imposing 6’6″ height.)

Me: “…she meant him.”

(The customer’s face goes pale.)

Customer: “Uh… um… so, I can just come back with my ID and pick that up, then?”

Giant Coworker: “Yes, sir. Feel free to ask for me if you have any more problems.”

Customer: “No! Er, I mean, no; I can’t imagine there’d be any more problems.”

(We now joke that we should keep our giant under the desk for all such issues.)

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Strawberry Fields Forever

| MI, USA | Right | March 25, 2013

(I am ordering ice-cream for my family and me.)

Cashier: “What can I get for you?”

Me: “I’ll have a scoop of strawberry, please.”

Cashier: “Sorry, we only have chocolate, vanilla, and butter pecan today.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry! Chocolate, then.”

Cashier: “Alright, anything else?”

Dad: “I’ll have a strawberry shake.”

Cashier: “Sorry, we only have chocolate, vanilla, and butter pecan.”

Dad: “Oh right, a chocolate shake then.”

Sister: “I want a strawberry sundae!”

Cashier: “We only have chocolate, vanilla, and butter pecan.”

Sister: “Okay, vanilla.”

Me: “Does that happen a lot?”

Cashier: “Often enough that I look forward to the days we actually have strawberry.”

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