Polly Want A Manner

| Israel | Awesome Customers, Pets & Animals

(A man walks in with a parrot sitting on his shoulder.)

Customer: “Hello!”

Me: “Hi!”

Customer: “I would like one bun with sunflower seeds!”

Me: “Here you go.”

(The customer pays and takes the bun. He then takes off the sunflower seeds and feeds them to his parrot.)

Me: *laughing* “Bon appetite!”

Customer: “Thank you!” *to the parrot* “Say thank you!”

Parrot: “Thank you.”

Me: “You’re very welcome!”

((The customer leaves, still feeding the seeds to his parrot. A few minutes later he comes back with the bun, which is now completely seed free.)

Customer: “Do you have a trash can? I don’t need it any more.”

Me: “Ah… sure, give it here.”

Customer: “Very good! Goodbye!” *to the parrot* “Say goodbye to the girl!”

Parrot: “Bye bye!”

(They both leave, having seriously made my day.)

A Thick Slice Of Humble Pie

| Tempe, AZ, USA | Awesome Workers, Food & Drink, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(I am a waitress at a well-known restaurant chain. It is during the holidays. We have a run on pecan pie this afternoon, so I don’t have any ready yet. This takes place after a table of three has finished their meal.)

Me: “Would you guys like any desert? We have a lovely selection of pies.”

Customer #1: “What do you have?”

(I list the several kinds of pie we have available.)

Customer #2: “Oh, I’ll have the chocolate cream.”

Customer #1: “Pumpkin, please.”

Customer #3: “Do you have any pecan pie?”

Me: “Not right now. We had a lot of people wanting pecan today, but I can start one thawing for you. It’ll take about 10 minutes.”

Customer #3: “Never mind, then.”

Me: “Sorry, I have other pies. Would you like one of those?”

Customer #3: “No.”

(I leave and bring out the two pies and the bill, asking them if that was all. They said yes. In ten minutes, I look in on them again.)

Me: “How was everything?”

Customers #1 & #2: “Great.”

Customer #3: “Where’s my pecan pie?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I thought you said ‘Never mind.’ I can have it out to you in a few minutes, though.”

Customer #3: *irritated* “Never mind, then!”

Me: “Are you sure, sir?”

Customer #3: *sighs* “Yes.”

Me: “Sorry about that. You guys have a good day, though.”

(I leave them and go over to the register because a banquet party of 70+ people are waiting to cash out. Customer #3 comes over to the register to cash out, so I tell him it’ll be a moment because of the line. Instead, he speaks to my manager who happens to be right behind me.)

Customer #3: *angrily, to my manager* “I never got my pie!”

Manager: “I’m so sorry, sir.” *turns to me* “Hey, why didn’t he get his pie?”

(I explain the whole thing.)

Manager: “I’m sorry, sir. There seemed to have been some confusion. I can take the pie off your bill.”

Me: “It was never on there because he never ordered it.”

Customer #3: “I want a discount!”

Manager: “For a pie you never ordered? It’s not on your bill. If it were on your bill, I could take it off.”

Customer #3: “She is a stupid waitress! I wanted pie! I never got it! I want my meal free!”

Manager: “And why would I give you a free meal because of a misunderstanding over a pie you never ordered?”

Customer #3: “BECAUSE THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT!”

Manager: *firmly* “No. Sometimes the customer is very wrong! Please pay your bill as it stands, or I call the cops and you can explain to them why you’re always right, and shouldn’t go to jail over a piece of pie you never ordered.”

(Customer #3 blushes, pays, and all but runs out leaving his friends to stammer their apologies.)

Kids Will Send Any Parent To The Funny Pharm

| Sacramento, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Health & Body

(I am taking a refill order over the phone.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [pharmacy]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I need to refill a couple of prescriptions. This one I have the number for.”

(She proceeds to give me the number, and while I am running the prescription through her insurance I hear some kids playing in the background.)

Me: “Okay, so that one went through just fine. What is the next one?”

Customer: “I don’t have the number, but can you look it up for me? It’s my birth control.”

(I look in the customer’s file and sure enough it’s there. But while I am running it, the playing in the background has turned into a serious screaming and fighting match.)

Customer: *embarrassed* “And this is why I am refilling the birth control. Can’t you tell?”