Who’s Teaching Who Manners

| Minnesota, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I bus tables at a buffet-style restaurant. I approach a table of two middle-aged women and a girl who looks to be around 8 years old.)

Me: “Hello! I’ll be your service assistant today. How is everything tasting so far?”

Woman: “Fine.”

(I walk away and let them continue eating. I return about 10 minutes later.)

Me: “Why don’t I get these empty plates out of your way?”

(Both women completely ignore me. I take the plates and start to walk away.)

Girl: *yells to her mom* “Shouldn’t you say ‘thank you’?!”

(I start giggling and duck into the bus station. Later, I return to the table to pickup the next round of plates.)

Both women: *beaming* “Thank you!”

(The majority of people do not tip us. They end up leaving me $5.)

Crazy For Sushi

| New Hampshire, USA | At The Checkout

(I’m bagging a customer’s groceries.)

Customer: “If my sushi tips over, I’m gonna punch you in the face!”

Me: “Um, do you want me to put it in a separate bag for you?”

Customer: “You’d better.”

Misery Demands Company, Part 2

| Columbus, OH, USA | Family & Kids

(Our office has stickers for the kids that come in. A patient’s child spots them on the way out.)

Child: “Can we get stickers?”

Patient: *sighing* “Can he have a sticker?”

Me: “Of course!”

Patient: *rolls eyes heavily* “Okay…well, don’t get your hopes up.”

Child: “Do they have SpongeBob or superheroes?”

Me: “Of course we do!”

(The patient sticks her hand in container, fiddles around, and pulls her hand out empty despite the container being filled with stickers.)

Patient: “Nope, looks like they don’t. We’re leaving.”

Related:
Misery Demands Company

They Don’t Insure Against Dumb

| Texas, USA | Uncategorized

(I work in a human resources call center. I’m walking an employee through electing her benefits online. She says she is getting an error message when she tries to save her changes.)

Caller: “It says, ‘check here to opt out of health insurance or check here to select [insurance provider].’ What should I click?”

Me: “Well, if you want to opt out of health insurance, click on the top one. If you want [insurance provider], click the bottom one.”

Caller: “I don’t understand. What’s the difference between the two?”

Me: “One is health insurance and the other one is no health insurance.”

Caller: *pause* “Oh.”

Not So Modest Aspirations

| Europe | Family & Kids, Rude & Risque

(I’m speaking with a three year old girl as I serve her mother.)

Me: “Do you like the pharmacy? Do you think you will be a pharmacist when you grow up?”

Girl: “No! I will be a dancer!”

Me: “Oh, a dancer! That’s nice! Like in a dance group?”

Girl: “No! On the pole!”

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