Insert Subtitle Here

| New Zealand | Extra Stupid, Language & Words, Top

Me: “Hi there, how can I help you?”

Customer: *says something unintelligible*

Me: “Pardon, sorry?”

Customer: *unintelligible* “…flat white…” *unintelligible*

Me: “Oh, a flat white? Sure, that’s $4.50, please.”

Customer: *seems to ask something unintelligible*

Me: “Pardon, sorry?”

Customer: *says something unintelligible again, irritated*

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t understand what you’re saying at all.”

Customer: “Oh! I forgot that I was talking Swedish. I wanted to know if the flat white is in a small or medium cup.”

Me: “Oh, thank goodness! I thought I was going crazy!”

Just Stole His Thunder

| St. Louis, MO, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Money

(I’m volunteering at my school’s concession stand at a football game. An elderly man comes up to the register. There’s a very long, impatient line.)

Me: “Hello sir, welcome to [school name], home of the [mascot]! How may I help you?”

Man: “I’ll have two hot dogs, a pretzel with cheese, nachos, a Diet Coke and a Sprite.”

(I hand him the hot dogs and sodas. The kids in the back are still working on the nachos and pretzel.)

Man: “Where’s my pretzel and nachos?”

(Right as he says this, the pretzel is ready. It comes wrapped in wax paper with a cup of cheese, and I hand it to him.)

Man: “What’s this?”

Me: “A pretzel with cheese.”

Man: “No! I want it in a tray!”

(I take the pretzel back and ask for a nacho tray. The nachos are still not yet ready.)

Me: “That’ll be $7.50, please.”

Man: *has money out and I attempt to take it* “Hold on, don’t take my money until I get my prize!”

Me: “Sir, there is at least $200 in cash in this register. If I wanted to steal money, I’d just grab some when nobody was looking, not from some guy who’s holding up a line!”

Man: *takes his food and backs away sheepishly*

Customers Providing Change For A Change

| Oakville, ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Money, Theme Of The Month

(I have seen only one customer all day: a regular contractor who normally goes to another location.)

Me: “Hey! What do you need?”

Contractor: “Just a roller sleeve; am I the first you’ve had all day?”

Coworker: “Well, with the roller you’re buying, so far we’ve made $13.79 today.”

Contractor: *throws a $50 bill on the counter* “Wow. Use the change to buy some magazines and snacks so you aren’t just sitting here anymore.”

Me: “Thank you! Oh, wow! You should keep this, but thank you so much. I’m dying of boredom!”

(Five years later, all I remember about that job was how awful my boss was, and how nice the contractor was every time he came in, no matter what was happening or how long it took to get his paint. He was always wanting the employees to be happy, and whenever he walked in we were.)