Making A Loud A-pee-l, Part 2

| MN, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

(As the bookstore I work for is closing down, we have started closing down the bathrooms. At this point, they’ve shut down one stall leaving only one left in the ladies room. I go in and there’s a rather long line for the single stall.)

Customer #1: *comes running in* “Oh… oh no, is there only one stall?”

Customer #2: “Yeah, but the line is moving pretty quick, though.”

Customer #1: “Oh no! This won’t do.” *rushes out*

(A few seconds later, Customer #1 comes back with two large paper coffee cups. She goes over to a corner, sets the cups on the floor, and drops her pants.)

Customer #1: “Okay, everyone! I really have to go! I have a bladder infection so if I don’t go right now, it won’t end well for me. Nobody look!”

(As she goes to drop her drawers, another woman comes out of the stall. I happen to be the next in line.)

Me: “Please! Go ahead of me! Apparently, you need the bathroom more than I do!”

Customer #1: “Are you sure? You probably have to go back to work. I’m okay with this.”

Me: “Nope! Just go!”

Customer #1: “Gee, thanks!” *shuffles into the stall with her pants around her ankles*

Related:
Making A Loud A-pee-l

No Vocation For Location, Part 5

| London, England, UK | Bigotry, Geography, Language & Words

(I work at a call center for charities where we call people to confirm their details and thank them for their donations. I have recently moved from South Africa and am still getting used to some of the pronunciations around the UK.)

Me: “Hello, this is Sarah calling on behalf of [charity]. I believe you spoke to John in Inverness on Saturday. Is that correct?”

(I’ve pronounced it ‘In-ver-niss’ as opposed to ‘In-ver-ness’.)

Man: “What?! How can you work in a f***ing call center and not even know how to pronounce the names?”

Me: “I’m so sorry, sir. I’m not from England so I’m still getting used to all the names.”

Man: “How f***ing dare you! I am not from England! I am from Scotland, you dumb b****! They’re different places! How don’t you know that? Didn’t you go to school?!”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, sir. I meant to say I’m new to the UK. Some of the names of places are still a bit tricky for me.”

Man: *calmer* “Well, okay then. Where are you from?”

Me: “Johannesburg in South Africa.”

Man: “Oh, you mean Zimbabwe!”

Me: “No, sir, they’re different countries.”

Man: “They’re the same thing!”

Related:
No Vocation For Location, Part 4

Tai-Want It Now

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Geography, Technology

(I am a customer waiting in line when I hear this exchange between the repair person and a customer.)

Repair Person: “Alright, ma’am, we’re going to have to order some parts from the factory to get this fixed. They should be here in about 10 days.”

Customer: *very angry* “10 days?! Are you serious? Why the h*** is it so long? What is wrong with you people?! In Taiwan, they could get parts the same day!”

Repair Person: “Ma’am, in Taiwan, the factory is right next door.”

Customer: *leaves, defeated*