Adventures In The Third Dimension, Part 2

| Massachusetts, USA | Math & Science

Customer: “Hi, I called earlier about getting a storage unit.”

Me: “Okay. What size were you looking for?”

Customer: “I don’t know. You told me on the phone.”

Me: “Hmm, well, there are 4-5 people in this office who answer the phone at any time. I don’t think I spoke to you.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, it was…hmm. I don’t remember.”

(I walk her outside the office into the parking lot show her a painted grid on the ground that illustrates the different sizes. I take a long time explaining the different sizes, and how much each costs. She has a price/size list in her hand the whole time. She looks very confused but finally seems to understand and decides she wants a 10’x10’ storage unit. We go back in the office so we can do the paperwork.)

Customer: “Okay, so, 10’x10’ is the width?”

Me: “Well, 10’x10’ means the space is ten feet wide and ten feet long.”

Customer: *blank stare*

Me: “The grid you just looked at painted on the ground shows only the footprint of the storage unit.”

Customer: *blank stare*

Me: “The illustration grid painted on the ground does not show the third dimension, which is height. The ceiling is about 8 feet high.”

Customer: *blank stare* “So…I can stack things UP?” *she looks excited*

Me: “Yes. You are not renting a two-dimensional space.”

Customer: *blank stare*

Me: “You are not renting a parking space. You are going to be renting a three-dimensional storage space.”

(I gesture with my hands to make the shape of a three dimensional box.)

Customer: “This is so confusing!”

Related:
Adventures In The Third Dimension

Taking The I Out Of Identity

| Lima, OH, USA | Uncategorized

(I am at the front door at my store greeting customers when a customer comes in. I remember helping him activate a warranty
replacement phone I ordered for him the previous week. Keep in mind that I am a white guy.)

Customer: “Is that black guy here today?”

Me: “You know his name?”

Customer: “Is [my name] here?”

Me: “That’s me.”

Customer: “You sure?”

Me: “Uh, yes.”

Customer: “Huh. You sure that’s you?”

Me: “Yes, sir. I check every morning.”

The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 3

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Family & Kids, Rude & Risque

(I’m a librarian. I am walking through the children’s section and see a boy of around 12 browsing through ghost stories. He
picks up a book, opens it, and immediately drops it back on the shelf.)

Boy: “Ooh! That book’s too scary!”

Me: “What book is it?”

Boy:Ghosts of Prostitutes.”

Me: “What?!”

(I walk over and pick up the book. It is titled “Ghosts and Poltergeists”.)

Related:
The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 2
The Horrors Of Mispronunciation

The (Not So) Odd One Out

| Tampa, FL, USA | Uncategorized

(I am stocking shelves alongside two other employees that are dressed in the same company uniform as me when I am approached by a customer.)

Customer: “Excuse me, do you work here?”

Me: “Yes–”

Customer: “Never mind, you don’t work here. Sorry to bother you.”

Me: “No, ma’am, I do work here. What can I help you with?”

Customer: “You do? Hmm…I didn’t recognize the uniform. Are you sure you’re not just messing with me?”

Me: “Yes, what can I help you with?”

Customer: “Nevermind. I’ll just ask the nice young lady working behind you.”

Too Provincial With Provinces

| Niagara Falls, ON, Canada | Tourists/Travel

(As employees exit the train they are divided and reboarded to a new train based on their destination. At this point, we determine where they are traveling and forward them there. A train has just arrived from USA and is making it’s first stop in Canada.)

Me: “Hello, ma’am, what is your final destination today?”

Customer: “Canada.”

Me: “Where in Canada will you be traveling?”

Customer: “Ontario, Canada.”

Me: “What is the final stop in Canada you will be going to today?”

Customer: “Ontario.”

Me: “Ontario is a province, like New York State or Florida. Where in the province of Ontario are you going?”

Customer: “Canada, but you obviously don’t know as well as I do. I’ll just talk to someone else!”

Me: “Have a good day!”

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