Hair Abhorrent

| Invercargill, New Zealand | Bizarre

(I’m with my sister, shopping in the produce section of the supermarket, when a male customer approaches me. Note: I’m female with long hair.)

Male Customer: “You! Your hair’s too long!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Male Customer: “If you bought some scissors, I’d cut it for you.”

Me: “I… ah… No thank you.”

Male Customer: “Fine!”

(He then storms off towards the back of the store.)

My Sister: “What the f*** just happened?!”

Herd Behavior

| Denver, CO, USA | Awesome Workers, Food & Drink, Top

(My mom and I are flying home to California after staying with friends in Colorado. We have had to get up extremely early, and I have had a stressful week after dealing with a new friend. I should also mention I am a brony, meaning I like My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. I am wearing a T-Shirt my best friend got me that says Ponyvengers with five ponies dressed up as the Avengers. We are stopping off to get some juice before we get on the plane home.)

Me: “Hi! I’ll have [fruit drink].”

Mom: “And I’ll have… a small [another drink].”

Cashier: “You got it. Your total is [total].”

(After my mom pays, the cashier walks backwards as he goes to make our drinks. My mom isn’t looking up. He motions to his chest and mouths ‘I love your shirt’. I give him a huge grin and thumbs up.)

Mom: *to me* “Oh! I forgot to get water! Can you go get me some?

Me: “Sure.”

(She hands me some money. I grab two water bottles and put them on the counter, in front of the same cashier.)

Cashier: *smiling widely* “It’s on the house.”

Me: “Oh, wow! Thank you!”

(As my mom and I are walking away with our drinks.)

Mom: “He didn’t let you pay for the drinks?”

Me: “Nope!”

Mom: “Why?”

Me: “Because he’s a fellow brony. It’s an automatic bond between us, even though we’ll probably never see each other again. Bronies care about each other, and since we had already paid for our drinks, he didn’t want to make us pay for anything else.”

Mom: *confused* “Oh… seems odd to me.”

Me: “That’s because you’re not part of the herd.”

Dislike Father, Like Son

| Cincinnati, OH, USA | Bigotry, Language & Words, Top

(My father is having an issue with his prepaid cell phone that I haven’t been able to fix. I tell him to call the service provider. I am making dinner when I hear yelling in the other room, so I go running in.)

Operator: *with strong Indian accent* “Sir, can you please confirm your father’s middle name?”

Father: “What? What did you say? Speak English for the love of f***ing God!”

(Note: I have a head cold and am nearly deaf from the pressure in my ears, yet I understand the operator just fine.)

Operator: “I need you to confirm your security question, sir. Please, what is your father’s middle name?”

Father: “I don’t know what you’re saying! Why can’t you just fix my phone?”

Me: “Dad, give me the phone.”

(I proceed to spend 45 minutes on the phone with the operator trying to figure out what my lunatic father has done to his account. It turns out that he registered the account with his name and my mother’s information. The operator finally managed to fix everything and was just about to end the call.)

Father: “I want his name, address, and phone number before you hang up!”

Me: “Um… why?”

Father: “I’m going to complain about him. D*** foreigner needs to speak English! I can’t understand a thing he’s saying.”

Me: “Seriously? He just spent nearly an hour fixing the account you screwed up and you want to complain? What is wrong with you?” *to the operator on the phone* “Thank you for your help. I’ll handle my father from here…”

(Operator, wherever you are from, thank you for putting up with jacka**es like my dad. Not all of us are belligerent and bigoted.)

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Dislike Father, Dislike Son
Like Son, Like Father
Like Father, Like Son