They Handle Suits For A Living

| Brooklyn, NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal, Top

Customer: “I’m here to pick up my jacket. The ticket number is [number].”

Me: “Let me check…”

(Upon checking the ticket, I realize that the jacket has been left two years ago. This most likely means that it’s since been donated to charity, or auctioned off. According to the state law, after being unclaimed for six months, clothing can be donated to charity or sold off to recoup the losses.)

Me: “I’m going to go check if we have it in the back. I’ll be back in a minute.”

(Sure enough, it doesn’t exist.)

Me: “It looks like we don’t have your jacket anymore, since it was left here two years ago and has never been claimed.”

Customer: “What do you mean it’s not here anymore?”

Me: “Since your jacket had been left here two years ago, it was probably donated or auctioned off by the previous owner.”

Customer: “No, that can’t be. Go back there check again.”

(I go into the back again, but come out empty handed.)

Me: “Nope. We don’t have it anymore. Sorry.”

Customer: “I can’t believe this! You guys can’t just get rid of my clothes like that! It’s an expensive jacket! Do you know how much that jacket cost me?”

Me: “Actually, yes, we can, according to the law, cited in section 399-BB. Any clothes left unclaimed for more than six months can be donated to charity or sold off.”

Customer: “Nuh-uh! You find my jacket, or I’ll call the police!”

Me: “I said it before and I’ll say it again: your jacket is not here anymore. I’d love to find your jacket so we can resolve this issue, but I can’t.”

Customer: “It cost me $800!”

Me: “I wish I could help you, but I can’t since it’s been disposed of by the previous owner.”

Customer: “I’ll sue you! I’m going to the small claims court and suing your a**!”

Me: “So, let me put it into perspective: you leave your precious $800 jacket here, come back out of the blue after two years, and then threaten to sue us, even though the law in this case, which was created specifically for situations like this, states that we aren’t responsible for unclaimed clothes that have been left at the premises for more than six months? Not to mention the fact that we have absolutely no recollection of this, since our family took over the store just a couple of months ago?”

(Due to the inability to provide a rational response, the customer proceeds to flip out. Eventually, the police are involved after the customer made the phone call, and an officer is dispatched. I explain to the officer what has occurred, as well as the law regarding the matter, and he sides with us. The customer ends up leaving empty-handed.)

It’s A Bad Sign When They Have A Bad Sign

| VT, USA | Crazy Requests, Money

(I work at a large department store where there’s one sale a week on average. Because the sale prices are usually the same, our signing team leaves old signs behind the current ones so they don’t have to reprint every sign every time our prices change. Most customers don’t even think to look behind the visible sign, and those who do understand that the price they can see is the current price. A customer brings up a piece of one of our top brands of luggage, and a sign taken out of the sign holder.)

Customer: “Hi, this sign was behind a sign that said they were full price, but the dates include today. Can I get it for half off?”

(I look at the bottom of the sign, and see that in light gray print over white says ‘121912 12513’.)

Me: “Those are just identification numbers, but let me check the price for you.”

(I bring the suitcase to a register and scan it. Just as the sign in front says, it rings up full price.)

Me: “The sign is up for the sale that starts next week.”

Customer: “So I can get it half off, right?”

Me: “Unfortunately not, ma’am.”

Customer: “But the sign says it’s half off.”

Me: “You said this was behind a sign that gave the full price, right?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Manager: “So let me get this right: you pulled apart one of our signs, found one that isn’t current, and want that price?”

Customer: “Yes! That’s what the sign says!”

Me: “We can hold it for you until the sale starts.”

Customer: “No! I have to take it to Atlanta tomorrow! I want the price the sign says! Can’t you just give it to me early?”

Me: “If I did that, I could get fired.”

Customer: “So…?”

Me: “It’s full price.”

(The customer leaves, muttering about false advertising.)

Modem Warfare

| NY, USA | Technology

(I’m a tier-one tech support rep for internet issues. I receive a call from a customer who is very angry, because his internet still isn’t working, despite multiple calls and field tech visits.)

Me: “How may I help you?”

(The customer begins a tirade of how inept my company is, including everything that’s been done so far. I begin basic troubleshooting as per policy, which doesn’t get the customer back online. I’m about to schedule another field tech to go out the customer.)

Customer: “This is great! You’re too f****** stupid to fix anything, and now I have to waste another f****** day so you can send out another f****** tech! Everything’s already been replaced! They replaced all the lines; I replaced the router and the modem! Why can’t you do your f****** job and fix this?!”

Me: “Did you say you have a new modem? I’m only seeing the one that was installed 10 years ago.”

Customer: “Yes, why?”

Me: “Did you call to have the new modem added to your account, sir?”

Customer: “Why the h*** would I do that?”

Me: “That’s why I’m not seeing the modem, sir. We need to add it to your account so that our system knows where to send the signal.”

(I proceed to enter the new modem to the account, which results in my being able to see good signals. I have the customer try to access the internet, which is now working.)

Me: “I just want to make sure the computer isn’t remembering a website from earlier. Could you try two random websites for me so we can be sure everything’s working?”

Customer: *embarrassed* “I did; it’s fine now!” *click*