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The Caper Crusader

| Germany | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I am at a restaurant for dinner. A customer on the next table orders roast pork. The recipe used by the restaurant includes capers. I sit down a few moments before his food is served. He doesn’t even touch it but immediately speaks up.)

Guest: “Wait, there’s capers in there! I asked for a roast pork without capers!”

Waitress: “Oh, I’m very sorry. I guess the kitchen didn’t read to leave the capers out.”

Guest: “Well, I hate capers! I’m not going to eat that.”

Waitress: “Let me take it back. I’ll bring you a new one without capers.”

Me: “You’re going to throw it away, are you?”

Waitress: “Well, yes.”

Me: “You can give that to me then. I was going to order it anyway, and I don’t mind the capers.”

Guest: “What? You can’t have that!”

Me: “Why?”

Guest: “It was prepared for me! You can’t have my food!”

Me: “Huh? I thought you didn’t want it?”

Guest: “I don’t!”

Me: “Then they’re just gonna throw it away anyway. That would be a waste.”

Guest: “You can’t have MY food! It was made for ME, not YOU!”

(Something flicked his switch at this moment – he’s calling me things like parasite, saying that I just want him to pay for my meal. Note that they wouldn’t have charged him for the faulty order; I would have paid for it. Enter the restaurant owner.)

Owner: “What is going on here?”

(The waitress explains the situation to him, he looks at me, and I confirm. The other guest is still fuming and mumbling under his breath.)

Owner: “So you don’t want the roast with capers?”

Guest: “I don’t! I hate capers!”

Owner: “You don’t want it, but you also don’t want anyone else to have it?”

Guest: “No! It is my food and my money!”

Owner: “You gave it back, so it isn’t your food. I’m not going to throw perfectly good food away if someone else wants it. Also, I refuse to serve people who do not know how to behave.”

Guest: “What does that mean?!”

Owner: “It means we will not serve you today. Please leave. You don’t need to pay for your drink, just get out.”

(The guest left, muttering that he wouldn’t want to eat at this ‘crappy place’ anyway and he wouldn’t be back. The owner did not give me the other guest’s food, stating it was no longer hot enough and he didn’t want to serve me food that wasn’t hot. However, when I left, they gave it to me in a doggy bag.)

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It’s Payback Time

, | Bangalore, India | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Liars & Scammers, Money

(I am working part-time as a cashier in a cafeteria in a large college campus where I am a student. A young man accompanied by a girl approaches my counter. The man starts to order.)

Customer: “Listen, I will pay you later. You can trust me.”

Me: “Sorry, I need payment first before we can serve you the items you ordered.”

Customer: “You can trust me. Everyone on this campus knows me.”

Me: “I still need payment first as I have never met you before and don’t know you. My till cannot come up short. So if I let you have these items without you paying for it then I will have to pay for it out of my pocket. Since you are well known on campus as you said, perhaps you can find someone here in the cafeteria who will let you borrow some money.”

Customer: “No, you don’t understand. You can easily find me in the campus. I will be either in my room in the [Dorm] which is very close by, or in the [Department]. You can ask anyone in the campus.”

Me: “Sorry, but you seem to be suggesting that I just give you the items you ordered now and then I run about the campus to collect payment from you later in your dorm or your department. Obviously I cannot do that. As your dorm is close by, can’t you just get some money from your room?”

(The customer just glared at me for a few seconds, let loose a string of expletives, and stormed out with the girl following behind. If he was trying to impress the girl about how important he was, he went about doing that in a very stupid way. He cannot expect a random person to pay for his date!)

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Being A Queen About It

| KY, USA | At The Checkout, Canada, Money

(The store I work for has several locations in Canada; therefore, company policy is that we accept Canadian money as well as American and the associates have to be familiar with what Canadian currency looks like compared to American. My store isn’t close to the border, so we don’t get Canadian currency a lot. I’m ringing up a customer who’s paying cash.)

Me: “So out of twenty-five dollars and thirty cents?”

Customer: “Yes, ma’am!”

Me: *I go to put the cash in the till when I realize something off* “Oh, sir, do you have another quarter? This is a Canadian dollar coin.”

Customer: “No, it isn’t; it’s a quarter! We don’t use dollar coins here!”

Me: “I know this, sir, but this isn’t American currency. I can accept it as legal tender, or you can see if you have a quarter.”

Customer: “Of course it’s American currency! You just don’t want to accept it!” *scoffs* “Canadian.”

Me: “I apologize for the mix-up; it happens sometimes. People will get Canadian coins mixed in with American, but it’s not a problem to use it as legal tender here.”

Customer: “I only ever use American money, not some made-up Monopoly money!”

Me: “Sir, Canada is a real country, and this is a Canadian dollar coin. If you just look—”

Customer: “It’s an American quarter! Accept it!”

Me: “With all due respect, I’ll accept it as a quarter if you can tell me which American coin has the Queen of England on the face.”

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Taking Inventory And An Earful

| USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(I work in Jewelry at a well-known department store chain. It’s a few hours into our Black Friday sale, and I have just moved on to our next customer waiting, who asks to see a pair of gold earrings in our case.)

Me: “These are 18k yellow gold, and the full price is [price], so the discount today is—”

Customer: “No, I’ve looked at these earrings before. They are supposed to be 14k, at [much lower price].”

Me: “Oh, we had several different versions of this earring in stock; it’s a common shape. You were probably looking at an earlier pair we had.”

Customer: *getting angry* “No, it was THESE EARRINGS. I saw these earrings a year ago, and I’ve been watching them all this time, waiting for this day to come and buy them. This is bull-s***!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am… but if it’s been that long, they were probably sent back to the vendor. We remove older pieces every month to make room for the newer pieces coming in. We did have about five versions of this style of earring, but I remember sending some back about half a year ago.”

Customer: “This is bull-s***! It was THESE EARRINGS! I looked at them just a month ago! You’ve changed the tags on them. This is fraud!”

Me: “Ma’am, we haven’t changed the tags on these earrings. The ones you saw were a different pair. I can check the back-stock to see if we have any left.”

(I check, and find a larger 14k pair at the same price as the ones in the case, and a smaller 14k pair with a price halfway between what we have and what she wanted. I bring them out to show her.)

Me: “Ma’am, it looks like we only have two versions left. This pair is the cheapest we have right now. The ones you saw before were probably smaller than these—”

Customer: *now gesturing to the new earrings I’m holding* “No, THIS was the pair I saw! And now the price is different! This is fraud!”

Me: “Ma’am, like I said, we had several of these earrings. The pair you saw was either purchased by another customer, or sent back.”

(She refuses to believe me, and continues complaining as she shops, using the words “fraud” and “bull-s***” repeatedly. She decides to buy the earrings along with a few other pieces, and complains to my manager while I am ringing her up about “waiting a year for these earrings” and us “changing the tag”. My manager tells her the exact same thing I had about the earrings she wanted either being bought by someone else or sent back, but the customer insists the pair I am ringing up are the ones she had seen, conveniently forgetting she had said the same thing about the pair in the case! She finally leaves after getting the contact info for someone “higher up” to complain to, and my manager shoots me a sympathetic look.)

Me: *sighing heavily* “That’s not fraud; it’s called ‘Inventory’. I don’t think she knows how stores work. Who expects something to still be there after a year, anyway?”

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Discount Is Not On The Books

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Books & Reading, Family & Kids, Money

(I work at a bookstore that has carts of bargain prices books for $1-3, mostly children and baby books, with the price listed on a big red and white sticker. A customer, with his daughter of about three to four, comes in with two of the books from the cart.)

Customer: “Hi, I’d like these two, please.”

Me: “Sure thing!” *I proceed to ring up the books: one, a small, flimsy story book for beginning readers at $1 and a small baby board book for $3* “Okay, that will be [total].”

Customer: “What?! That’s too much! Why aren’t they both a dollar?!”

Me: “Well, sir, the price is clearly labeled and set by our corporate office.”

Customer: “But this book for $3 is smaller than the $1 book! I want a discount!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I can’t do that. The price on the book is the price. It’s already been discounted over 75% off, and I can’t discount it more.”

Customer: “Well, if you won’t discount it then I will take my business elsewhere!” *to his daughter* “Well, honey, it looks you can’t have these books because THIS man here doesn’t want you to have them!”

(Her face just drops as she looks at me and they leave the store.)

Coworker: *jokingly* “I can’t believe you! Breaking that little girls heart like that! But seriously, what the h***?!”

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