Medicated And Dedicated

| Perth, WA, Australia | Right | February 26, 2015

(It has been a quiet day, and I happen to overhear this conversation between my coworker and the customer. I decided to intervene at one point.)

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to buy a packet of [Medication].”

Coworker: “Sure, what packet size did you want? We have 84, or 168.”

Customer: “Don’t you have the smaller pack? The 28 pack?”

Coworker: “Sorry, I don’t think we do. I’ll go check the back if we might have stock.”

(Whilst my coworker went to the back to check, I decide to converse with the customer to keep the sale.)

Me: “I’m sorry that we don’t have the smaller pack in stock, but the larger packs do work out cheaper than the small pack in the long run. Especially if you need to take them long term.”

Customer: *angrily* “I know that! I’d prefer getting the small pack so I know what I’m taking! And I do need to watch what I spend to be able to put food on my plate each month.”

(My coworker returns.)

Coworker: “I’m sorry but we didn’t have any small packs at the back.”

Customer: *in a huff* “Oh fine, I’ll just take the 84s.”

(While my coworker is processing the sale:)

Customer: “Oh, and these as well.”

(She placed three chocolate bars on the counter.)

Receipting Back A Decent Dose Of Karma

| Detroit, MI, USA | Right | February 26, 2015

(I am working the register when I am approached by a mother, daughter, and grandmother with a return, which happens to be a $140 coat.)

Me: “Oh, I see you have a return. Was there anything wrong with the coat?”

Mother: “No, her uncle bought it for her and she doesn’t like it.”

Me: “All right, I’ll just need to see the receipt.”

Daughter: “I wasn’t given a receipt when I got it.”

Me: “Okay, not a problem. However, I will need to see some form of ID and I can only return it for the current sale price.”

Mother: “Okay, that’s no big deal.”

(I enter all of the required information, scan the item and am ready to complete the transaction.)

Me: “You’ll be getting back $84.80. Did you want a copy of the receipt sent to your email?”

Mother: “What? No, the coat was $140. That can’t be right.”

Me: “Like I said ma’am, the coat is currently on sale and that’s the price I can return it for.”

(The grandmother decides to chime in.)

Grandmother: “Listen here, you little s***. My son paid $140 for that coat; now we want a full refund. My granddaughter shouldn’t be punished for your god-d*** incompetence.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry but there is nothing I can do without the receipt.”

(After being cussed out by the entire family, the girl, without even looking, promptly reaches into her purse and pulls out the receipt. I scan it and the return comes out to $84.80.)

Me: “Once again, you’ll be getting back $84.80, and would you like a copy of your attitude sent to your email?”

(The family quickly grabbed the coat and hustled out of the store.)

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Decaffeinated Milk

| NJ, USA | Right | February 25, 2015

(A customer comes into the store and confusedly finds his way to the register.)

Customer: “Get me a steamed milk.”

(I make the drink and hand it to him.)

Customer: “This is just milk. I wanted coffee in this.”

Me: “No. You ordered steamed milk.”

Customer: “Don’t you guys put coffee in everything?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “What has coffee in it?”

Me: “Coffee.”

Customer: “Oh! That’s what I meant to get.”

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An Unhappy Meal

| NV, USA | Right | February 25, 2015

(The majority of my calls tend to come from the technologically deficient users attempting to access our online banking site.)

Caller: “I can’t get into your website. Are you having problems?”

Me: *verifies website is working normally* “No, ma’am, our website appears to be working just fine. There might be an issue with your computer. What web browser are you using?”

Caller: “McDonald’s.”

Me: “Pardon me, but did you say McDonald’s?”

Caller: “Yes.”

Me: “Are you using the Internet at McDonald’s?”

Caller: “Of course, that is what I just told you.”

Me: “Okay, but I need to know what program you are using to get onto our website.”

Caller: “I already told you. I’m using McDonald’s.”

Me: “I understand you are using their Internet access, but I need to know what program you are using. Could it be Internet Explorer, Firefox, Google Chrome, or Opera?”

Caller: *in a rather desperate tone* “I already told you. I’m using McDonald’s.”

Me: “I understand. What does the icon that you clicked on look like? Is it a blue ‘E’ with a gold halo?”

Caller: “How would I know that?”

Me: “Look on your desktop and…”

Caller: “How many times do I have to tell you that I’m at McDonald’s?”

Me: “Ma’am, the desktop is what you see when you turn the computer on.”

(This conversation went on for 20 minutes before we finally figured out she was using Internet Explorer. The issue was that her Java was out of date. Way out of date. Talking her through updating Java took an additional 15 minutes. After the conversation, I walked into my boss’s office and informed him that I qualified for hazard pay.)

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You’re Minnow Good

| MA, USA | Right | February 25, 2015

(A customer comes into our fish department and points at the minnows.)

Customer: “I want 30 these!”

(Being the new girl in training, I count out 30 minnows, bag them, and start tying off the bag. Then, after watching me the entire time closely, the customer speaks up.)

Customer: “They too small! You grabbed small ones!”

(So my trainer comes over to see what the problem is. I explain I grabbed all the minnows from the large minnow tank and my trainer confirms this with the customer. However the customer continues:)

Customer: “She grabbed all small ones and I want big ones!”

(The coworker training me wanted to choke him with a bag but instead dumped the 30 fish back into the tank and re-caught 30 ‘bigger’ minnows. They were all the same size.)

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