Bestial Superiority Complexes

| France | Pets & Animals

(I’m a customer at the vet with my cat. Another customer walks in with a large dog.)

Receptionist: “Good morning! Do you have an appointment?”

Customer: “No, I just need to see the vet for vaccinations.”

Receptionist: “I’ll let him know you’re in, but you will have to wait. We have another patient with an appointment waiting.”

Customer: *looks at my cat* “But it’s just some cat! My dog is a pure breed and it cost 1000 euros!”

Me: “And your point is?”

Customer: “I’m in a hurry! Can’t you just wait a bit longer? Your cat isn’t a pure breed.”

Me: “Yes, but she has an appointment and your purebred dog doesn’t.”

(At this point, the vet comes in and asks me to bring my cat. As I walk in the exam room, I can hear the customer complaining.)

Customer: “No self-respecting vet would make a pure breed wait!”

Taking It Just A Hair Too Far

| Denver, CO, USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids

(This happened when I was 11 and at a shopping mall. I am sitting outside the restroom waiting for my friends to come out of the bathroom. A lady comes out of the nearby salon and comes over to me.)

Lady: “Oh what pretty black hair you have!”

Me: “Oh, uh, thanks, but actually its brown. It’s just wet right now.”

Lady: “Oh, why didn’t you dry it?”

Me: “My hairdryer’s broken.”

Lady: “Oh!”

(She grabs my wrist and drags me into the salon.)

Me: “Let go of me!”

(She continues holding my wrist and grabs a hairdryer.)

Worker: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but, weren’t you just here? And, uh, what are you doing?”

Lady: “She has dripping wet hair!” *turns hairdryer on*

(She finally lets go of my wrist and puts the dryer down.)

Me: “You’re insane!”

(I run to my friends, who are waiting outside, laughing.)

Lady: “I was just trying to help!”

Your Attitude Is Teri-yucky

| Sammamish, WA, USA | Food & Drink, Top

(Note: I work at a restaurant that specializes only in teriyaki-style food.)

Customer: “So, what kind of food do you guys sell here?”

Me: “We sell teriyaki.”

Customer: “Is your chicken teriyaki-style?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Is your beef teriyaki-style?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Is your pork teriyaki-style?”

Me: “Yes, the majority of our menu is teriyaki.”

Customer: *looking upset* “You should really have more variety. I don’t want teriyaki. I didn’t wait in line for 15 minutes for teriyaki!”

Next customer in line: “Well, then, get the f**k out of a teriyaki restaurant!”

No Country For Confused Men

| Edinburgh, UK | Tourists/Travel

Customer: “Hi! My friends are coming in from America. Is there any chance I can meet them at their baggage claim?”

Me: “I’m sorry. Unfortunately, you aren’t allowed to go through the gates at international arrivals. You’ll just have to meet them there.”

Customer: “Oh, that sucks. Never mind.”

(The customer begins to leave and suddenly turns back.)

Customer: “Oh, wait! I’ve got another question.”

Me: “Sure.”

Customer: “What country am I in?”

(Bodily) Equipment Malfunctions

| New Zealand | Technology

(The modems we supply customers with have a light that has “PPP” written next to it. Customers often call up when their internet is down and tell us that their PPP light is off.)

Me: “Hi, thank you for calling [ISP]. How may I assist you?”

Customer: *distressed* “My PP is not working!”

Me: “Sorry?”

Customer: “Something is wrong with my PP!”

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