The Weather Outside Is Frightful, And The Customers Are Worse

| USA | Right | December 30, 2014

(I work in a discount retail store and being a discount store, we don’t have special sales for holidays or anything of that nature. Occasionally – well, more than I’d like – I come across a difficult customer who seems to make the atmosphere uneasy for my customer and me. The customer begins to put her items on my counter for me to ring up. After a few moments I ring up all of the 53 items she intends to purchase.)

Me: “You’re total is $346.70, Ma’am. Will you being paying with cash, debit, or credit?”

Customer: “I am paying in the form of money.”

Me: “All righty, ma’am, whenever you’re ready.”

(After about five minutes of the customer digging in her purse, she begins staring at the bagged items in front of her.)

Me: “Ma’am, is something wrong? Did you forget your form of payment?”

Customer: “Why the F*** are you asking me if I forgot my payment? I’m trying to calculate if you correctly rang up all my items, each only one time and not several so your greedy a** can get something for free from hard working Americans!”

(I stare blankly at her for a few seconds until she prompts me to void out the transaction and ring each item again, with my computer screen facing her so she can watch her amount build up. During this she begins to ask questions on why this item was this much and this item was this much, etc… I finally finish ringing each item again.)

Me: “You’re total is $346.70.”

Customer: “You b****, you did it again! You scanned something that I did not bring up here!”

(My seasonal employees are now looking at me and my customer with a horrified face.)

Me: “Ma’am, I rang every item up once. I don’t understand why you are making these accusations/ You watched my screen as every item was scanned only once.”

Customer: “Well unfortunately, if you are not a little b**** liar, I don’t have enough money to pay the entire amount, so you will have to f****** take some stuff off. I need to speak to your f****** manager.”

Me: “Ma’am, I am the manager and I will happily take any items you do not want to purchase off of your purchase.”

(She begins going through the bags and throwing items at me to take off. I take all the items she wished not to purchase off.)

Me: “You’re total is $15.76, ma’am.”

(She proceeds to give me a 20-dollar bill, I give her, her change and she proceeds on her merry way out the door with the two items she purchased.)

Coworker: “What the h*** just happened?”

Me: “Merry Christmas.”

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More Sour Than Sweet

| Eugene, OR, USA | Right | December 30, 2014

Me: “How can I help you?”

Customer: “Do you carry sweet and sour sauce?”

Me: “I don’t think I have any left. Let’s go check the food section.”

(I check.)

Me: “No ,we don’t have any in.”

Customer: “Oh, this is actually a Christmas gift for her.” *points to someone who is in ear shot* “You have just ruined it for her!”

(I immediately have a bitchy inner monologue with myself, saying ‘I’m not a f****** mind reader; don’t take someone you are Christmas shopping for with you when you go!)

Customer: “Where can I go to get this sauce?”

Me: “The grocery store…” *walks away*

Methadone And Done

| UK | Right | December 30, 2014

(I work behind the chemist counter and a lot of addicts come in to get their methadone. This one turns up five minutes before closing.)

Customer: “Here you go.” *hands over her prescription*

Me: “Thanks, I’ll just go get the pharmacist for you.”

(Whilst she’s waiting she notices the slides we used to detach our counter-caches which store all of the notes.)

Customer: “What are those?”

Colleague: “Those get the counter-caches off for us, for cashing up.”

(The customer picks one up and starts playing with it.)

Me: “The pharmacist will be right out.”

Customer: “No problem. In the meantime I’d like one of these.” *hands me the slide for the counter-caches*

Me: *thinking she’s joking* “Um, sorry, I don’t think that’s allowed.”

Customer: “Don’t laugh at me! GIVE ME THE F****** COUNTER THING!”

(It escalated from there. She refused to leave the shop or take her methadone, and we had to call the police and stand there whilst she trashed the store. We ended up staying an hour late to clean it all up. The pharmacist rang her doctor and asked for her to be sent somewhere else for her methadone and possibly be given a stronger dose.)

Allergic To Common Sense, Part 2

| Hampshire, England, UK | Right | December 30, 2014

Customer: “I’m allergic to tree pollen, but I don’t have hay fever, so don’t try to sell me any hay-fever medication!”

New Colleague: “Sir, an allergy to tree pollen is hay fever. If you take these it will help.”

Customer: “It say’s trainee on your badge. You don’t know what you’re talking about! I’d like to speak to a more senior member of staff!”

(The new colleague fetches me. I am 20 years younger than my colleague.)

Me: “What seems to be the problem, sir?”

Customer: “I asked to speak to a senior member of staff! Why are you getting involved?!”

Me: “As I’ve been here the longest. I am more than capable of answering any problems you may have.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! You’re a child. You can’t possibly be able to deal with the responsibility! Get me someone more senior!”

(I go and get the pharmacist who has been listening to the whole thing.)

Customer: “Finally, an adult who knows what they’re doing! How can you leave a child in charge of your chemist counter?”

Pharmacist: “Well, sir, [My Name] has passed all of her courses with the highest mark we’ve ever seen in this store, so I’m perfectly happy to let her deal with any queries, but as I’m here – what’s the problem?

Customer: *looking sheepish* “I’m allergic to tree pollen and want something for it.”

Pharmacist: “That’s called hay fever; try an antihistamine.”

Related
Allergic To Common Sense

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The ‘M’ Is Not For Monogamy

| USA | Right | December 30, 2014

Customer: “I can’t remember my password. Help?”

(I verify his identity.)

Me: “Your hint is ‘wife’s name.'”

Customer: “Crap, which one?”

Me: “It… starts with an ‘m?'”

Customer: “Oh, that one. Thanks!”

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