Have Your Cake And Eat It

| Canada | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

(I am working the counter at a bakery. An older customer comes up to order.)

Customer: “Hi, can I get a chocolate croissant and red velvet cupcake please?”

Me: “Oh, good choices! The red velvet cupcake is my favorite. I was actually going to get one on my break.”

(I go to grab his order, and realize there’s only one cupcake left.)

Me: “Lucky you, you got the last one!”

Customer: “Oh… are you sure you don’t want it? I can get something else.”

Me: “It’s okay, sir; that’s just the luck of the draw I guess.”

(He reluctantly accepts. Once he pays for his food, he takes the cupcake and puts in on the counter.)

Customer: “For you, my dear.”

Me: “What? No sir, it’s really okay. I can always get one tomorrow!”

Customer: “Well, I’m leaving it on the counter and walking away. What you do with it is up to you. Have a good day!”

(True to his word, he leaves the store. I have to say it was the best cupcake I ever had!)

Technically They Should Be Embarrassed

| Italy | Bigotry, Technology, Transportation

(I’m a woman in her 20s, and I look quite young. A group of men in their 30s have come in, having booked a minivan for a trip to the Czech Republic.)

Me: “…and here’s your rental agreement. It states that the car is a diesel, but please check yourself at the gas station, because the computer-provided data about the cars have been known to be wrong.”

Customer: “Do you think I’m stupid? I’m a grown-up man for God’s sake!”

Me: “Certainly not, but such mistakes happen more often you’d like to think. I’m only saying this to avoid you having to pay for any damages, or simply having a broken car in the middle of your trip.”

Customer: “Well, you’re a girl, so I’m not surprised you don’t know that the type of fuel the car requires is written on the gas refilling hole. I’m not surprised you know nothing about cars; it’s a man thing and requires some technical knowledge.

Me: “Okay then. Have a nice trip and be safe!”

(The customers go out to the parking lot. I can see them fidgeting with the remote, and have some trouble just opening the car. Once inside, I see them pushing various buttons on the radio and still not driving out of the parking lot. After several minutes, the customer I’ve spoken with comes back in.)

Me: “Is everything okay?”

Customer: “…I can’t find the handbrake.”

Lack of Register Does Not Register, Part 2

| Flemington, NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Technology

(I am a cashier at a retail store, keeping an eye on the self-checkout area. I am not supposed to ring up customers on the machines, only assist whenever there’s a problem. A woman comes up to me with a few items.)

Customer: “Hi, you need to ring me up.”

Me: “This is the self-checkout. The ladies over there would be happy to take you if you don’t want to use the machines.”

Customer: “This is self-checkout?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Customer: “Oh, I hate these self-check things. Can’t you just ring me up at that register there?”

(She points at a computer monitor, lying on the floor near the garbage cans, with a large crack easily visible across the screen. I think she’s joking but realize she’s serious.)

Me: “Um. No, I can’t, sorry. If you don’t want to use the self-checkout, the cashiers right behind us can—”

Customer: “Why can’t you ring me up at that register?!”

Me: “Well, because that’s not a register, ma’am.”

Customer: “You don’t call that thing over there a register?”

Me: “Nope, I call that a broken computer monitor.”

Customer: “What’s the difference?”

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Lack of Register Does Not Register