Diabetes Meets Rabies

| Baltimore, MD, USA | Right | June 27, 2013

(A customer is picking up some diabetic test-strips, and I am ringing him up.)

Me: “How are you doing today, sir?”

Customer: “I’m alright; how about yourself?”

Me: “I’m doing great, thanks. Did you have any questions for the pharmacist?”

(The customer gestures at the test strips, jokingly.)

Customer: “Yeah, do I really have to poke myself for these to work?”

Me: “Yep, I’m afraid so.”

Customer: “Can’t I just poke you instead?”

Me: *laughing* “Sorry, I’m afraid it doesn’t work that way, sir.”

(The customer gestures at my multiple facial piercings.)

Customer: “You look like the type that would enjoy that, though.”

Me: “Your doctor might have a problem with that, though.”

(When a customer picks up a prescription, they’re required by law to sign, stating that they’ve received it. Our pharmacy does this through an electronic prompt. The customer looks at it.)

Customer: “What’s this?”

Me: “It’s just a way to say that you’ve gotten your prescription. That way there’s no confusion later. It’s as much for your protection as ours really.”

Customer: “Well what happens if I don’t sign it?”

Me: “Then unfortunately, we’re not allowed to give you your prescriptions.”

Customer: “WELL I GUESS I’M NOT GETTING ANYTHING TODAY!”

(The customer THROWS the electronic pen across the counter, hitting me in the face. He turns, and practically skips away. The pharmacist and I aren’t sure if he is joking, but by the end of the day he still hasn’t come back!)

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Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 14

| Greenville, SC, USA | Right | June 27, 2013

(I work in computer technical support for an international electronics company. I am a soft spoken female technician with a ‘young’ sounding voice. As a result, I tend to have a hard time being taken seriously by certain customers.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [company]; my name is [name]. How may I help you today?”

Customer: “Oh, I didn’t need customer service; I need technical support.”

Me: “Yes sir, you’ve reached technical support. What product is it that I can help you with today?”

Customer: “No, you don’t understand. I need a tech to help me with this issue. I’m sure you think you know what you’re doing, but if you’d like to put me on hold and transfer me to a male tech, I’d be happy to hold.”

Me: “Unfortunately, I’m not allowed to transfer you back into our waiting queue. I assure you, sir, I’ll be able to help you with your issue if you can give me some information. If you’d prefer to speak with a male tech, you can disconnect the call and try again.”

Customer: “No, no I don’t want to do that. Alright, fine, can you help me connect my printer to my wireless connection then?”

Me: “Of course, I’d be happy to assist you with that today. Can you give me the model code on your printer so I can look that model up?”

Customer: *gives model number*

Me: “Does that model code have any letters at the end of it? Perhaps an ‘N’ or a ‘W’?”

Customer: “Ma’am, I assure you; I know how to read a model code. There are no letters at the end of the code on this printer.”

Me: “Alright, sir, I think I see the issue. It appears that this isn’t a wireless or networkable model. Our printer models designate network models with an ‘N’ at the end of the model code, and wireless models with a ‘W’. I can help you connect it to your computer through USB, but this model will not be able to be connected wirelessly or through a network.”

Customer: ”Look, I’m not stupid! I know this is a wireless printer; and I want to connect it to my network! If you can’t tell me how to do that, then transfer me to a man who can!”

Me: “Do you mind if we check a couple of things on that printer, sir, just to be sure? Can you look and see if there’s an ethernet port on the back of your printer? It’ll look like—”

Customer: “I know what an ethernet port looks like; I’m an IT professional! I work with networks all day, and this printer does not have an ethernet port on it!”

Me: “I understand, can you look for one more thing for me? Can you see if there’s a wireless light on the top of the printer? It would be marked as either wireless or with a symbol that looks like—”

Customer: “No! There’s no wireless light on this printer! It doesn’t need a wireless light, it says right on the box that it’s wireless! Now can you help me connect it or not?”

Me: “Sir, can you read me the part of the box that shows this is a wireless printer?”

Customer: “It’s right here! It says: ‘Easy one step wireless setup available on models—’… Oh… I uh… does this mean I’m going to have to buy a new printer?”

Related:
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 13
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 12
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 11

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The Customer Is Usually Wrong

| Right | June 27, 2013

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Smart Fake Caller

| Right | June 27, 2013

37403652

Man, What A Woman

| MI, USA | Right | June 26, 2013

(I’m female, but due to my height, my short hair cut, and our gender neutral uniforms, I’m often mistaken as male.)

Customer: “Excuse me, sir?”

Me: *turns around* “Yes, sir?”

Customer: *blinks* “Oh, I’m sorry! I thought you were a man! Well, I mean, it’s not that you look masculine. Not that you look weak either! You’re very beautiful. I just saw short hair and a ball cap. Not that girls can’t wear ball caps! Or have short hair! I like short hair on women. It’s very nice! I mean, ah, your hair is. Some women can’t pull it off. I like your eyes!”

(The customer turns red and I am trying not to laugh.)

Me: “Thank you very much, sir. Can I slice you some lunch meat?”

Customer: “Yes. And then just toss it in the hole I tried to dig myself out of, would you?”

Me: “Not a problem. We cater to stranger requests.”

(As the customer is leaving, he gives me a very large smile.)

Customer: “You know something? You really ARE quite beautiful. Have a nice day!”

(I did have a nice day, and all because of him!)

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