Finally Seeing The (Red) Light

| Montreal, Canada | Technology, Uncategorized

Customer: “Hi, my laser printer has a flashing light that say ‘change toner’. What must I do to fix that?”

Me: “Well, sir, your toner cartridge is empty. You just need to replace it.”

Customer: “What is a toner?”

Me: “It’s the ink that your printer need to print on the paper.”

Customer: “What! How come it needs ink? It’s a laser printer! Doesn’t the laser directly write on the paper without ink?”

Putting The Mental In Sentimental

| West Sussex, UK | Bizarre, Uncategorized

Me: “Hello and thank you for you calling.”

Caller: “I’m looking for a hoodie.”

Me: “Okay, what one would you like?”

Caller: “A dark one, with a hood.”

Me: ” Have you looked at our website?”

Caller: “No. You can pick one for me, and everytime I wear it I’ll think of you…”

Don’t Count On Intelligence

| New Jersey, USA | At The Checkout, Top

Customer: “How much is this? I’m kind of bad at math.”

Me: “Sure. It come to $10.20.”

(The customer hands me a $10 bill.)

Customer: “Here you go.”

Me: “Alright, I need at least 20 more cents.”

Customer: “Oh…alright.”

(The customer puts down five pennies.)

Customer: “Is that enough?”

Me: “15 more cents.”

(The customer puts down a dime.)

Me: “Alright you have $10.15 now.”

(The customer puts down 5 more pennies, but takes away the $10 bill.)

Me: “Alright, you have the right amount of change. But I need that $10 bill.”

Customer: “But this is 20!”

Me: “20 cents. And your total is $10.20.”

Customer: “Oh, I get it.”

(The customer hands me a $1 bill.)

Me: “I’ll need that $10 bill you had before.”

(The customer gives me the $10 bill and begins to take away the 20 cents.)

Me: “Wait…actually no you’re good. That’s the right amount.”

Not Remotely Intelligent, Part 3

| USA | Technology, Uncategorized

(A customer calls in to get help setting up a video conferencing unit with a display on the remote that shows status of selection.)

Me: “So, are you pointing the remote at the unit?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Where is the display on the remote? Is the top or bottom closest to you?

Customer: “The bottom is closest to me.”

Me: “Okay, turn the remote around so the LCD is towards the unit.”

Customer: “Okay.”

Me: “What do you see?”

Customer: “The back of the remote.”

Related:
Not Remotely Intelligent 2
Not Remotely Intelligent

Not In Full Receipt Of Your Faculties

| Downers Grove, IL, USA | Extra Stupid, Uncategorized

Caller: “Hi, I need a copy of my receipt for an order I had the other day.”

Me: “Okay, ma’am. I will need the date, your name, the company name, and if you have it, the amount.”

Caller: “Yes, my name is Diane, I’m calling from [Company] and it was for yesterday. The amount was $158.26. No, wait. It was $128.26. At least, that’s what it says on the receipt that I’m holding.”

Me: “So you have the receipt, then?”

Caller: *pause* “Yes! Thanks for your help!” *click*