Not A Fan Of The Fan

| CA, USA | Hotels & Lodging

(I am working the front desk at my hotel, when one of the guests comes up.)

Me: “Good morning! Do you need to check out?”

Customer: “Yes, but I want to complain.”

Me: “Oh, dear. What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “Well, the fan in the bathroom is very loud, and it kept me up all night!”

Me: “It did? I’ll leave a note for maintenance. That’s strange, though. It wouldn’t turn off at all?”

Customer: “No! I thought it was on a timer or something, but it just kept running all night long!”

Me: “That’s very odd. Was it running when you entered the room?”

Customer: “No, it turned on when I… flipped… the…” *blinks a bit in realization* “Oh! Well, poop!”

Me: “…turned on the light in the bathroom?”

Customer: “Yup. Sorry to bother you!”

Not All Customers Are Sick

| Minneapolis, MN, USA | Awesome Customers, Health & Body, Top

(A customer comes up to my counter.)

Customer: “I have a fascinating offer to make you.”

Me: “Uh-oh?”

Customer: “If you let me use some cleaners, and give me a free water from the fountain, I’ll clean up the mess I just made throwing up all over your bathroom.”

Me: “Oh… Well, the fountain drinks don’t have water, but I’ll get you some. [Coworker] over there is actually cleaning the men’s room right now, so you can talk to him.”

Customer: “Thank you. I’m sorry.”

Me: “Oh, it’s alright.”

(She does indeed borrow some cleaning spray and some towels, and disappears into the women’s restroom for a few minutes. My coworker approaches.)

Coworker: “What was that all about?”

Me: “She didn’t say?”

Coworker: “She just said you said it was okay to borrow the cleaning supplies.”

Me: “Oh. She said she threw up and wanted to clean it up.”

Coworker: “Really?”

Me: “Yup.”

(She comes back out at the end of this conversation.)

Customer: “Again, I’m really, really sorry.”

Me: “Most other customers would have just left it there and not even told us. You told us, apologized, and helped us clean it. You can come in here and throw up every night for all I care. Hope you feel better!”

First Aisle Problems

| Long Island, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Geography

(I’m a customer in line waiting to pay, when suddenly the registers freeze and have to reboot. There are two impatient customers in line behind me.)

Employee: “Sorry, but the registers just froze. Please be patient while we reboot them.”

Impatient Customer #1: “What did she say?”

Impatient Customer #2: “The registers froze.”

Impatient Customer #1: “Ugh, it’s like living in a third world country!”