How Berry Rude Of You

| Raleigh, NC, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I’m straightening things in the store and I have just finished an aisle. As I walk into the next aisle, which contains candles, I see a customer looking at the candles. He looks very angry and makes a strange face when he sees me walking towards him.)

Me: “Hi, how may I help you?”

Customer: “You don’t have mulberry. That’s rude!”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “You should be!” *stomps out of the aisle*

They Sneak Up On Ya

| Prince Rupert, BC, Canada | Tourists/Travel

Customer: “Hey, are there any Indian attacks on this village?”

Me: *taken aback* “Um. No. No, there are not.”

Customer: “Well, what about the sign?”

Me: “What sign?”

Customer: “The sign that says ‘Watch Out For Ava-LAN-cheez’.”

(From his pronunciation, it’s clear what he’s actually referring to are Apaches, not avalanches.)

Me: *trying not to laugh* “Um, no…they never attack our small village anymore.”

Stupidity Is The Mother Of Repetition, Part 5

| Jackson, WY, USA | Food & Drink

Me: “All of today’s specials and all of the sandwiches on the menu come with your choice of soup or salad or potato salad. What can I get for you today, sir?”

Customer: “You say that the sandwiches come with salad?”

Me: “That’s correct. So do all of the specials. You can get soup, salad, or potato salad.”

Customer: *pointing to the sandwich side of the menu* “So, all of these come with salad?”

Me: “Yup, or soup or potato salad. All of ’em.”

Customer: “What about this option?” *pointing to a particular sandwich* “Does this come with salad?”

Me: “Yes, sir, that one too. You can also choose soup or potato salad.”

Customer: “I’ll have that one, then.”

Me: “Okay, what would you like as your side?”

Customer: “What are my choices?”

Me: *speechless*

Related:
Stupidity Is The Mother Of Repetition, Part 4
Stupidity Is The Mother Of Repetition, Part 3
Stupidity Is The Mother Of Repetition, Part 2
Stupidity Is The Mother Of Repetition

Don’t Mess With Gamer Chicks

| Massachusetts, USA | Top

(A very busty, bubbly young woman comes in to buy a pre-owned copy of Resident Evil 4.)

Woman: “My stupid ex-boyfriend took all my games when he moved out! He doesn’t even like Resident Evil!”

Me: “Wow, that sucks.”

Woman: “It’s fine. I hooked up with his brother. I don’t start s***, I end it. Mess with my games and it is ON.”

Me: *laughing*

(I ended up giving her a discount.)

D Is For Definitely Shiny

| Wyckoff, NJ, USA | Uncategorized

(A customer walks to my register with a Halloween decoration in tow. It’s a cheap cardboard statue of a cartoon-looking black cat covered in a shiny plastic material.)

Customer: “So, why is this 3D?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

(I peer at the tag. It says “3D Cat”.)

Me: “Oh, that’s because it’s 3D.”

Customer: “No, I mean why is it ‘D’? Is it because it’s shiny?”

(A multitude of thoughts are racing through my head at this point. I debate the prospect of explaining to her what 3D actually means. In the end, I decide it’s easier to just agree with her.)

Me: “Exactly! It’s really sparkly and that’s why it’s called a 3D cat. Would you like to purchase it?”

Customer: “Oh, definitely!”

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