Some Computer Owners Just Can’t Hack It, Part 2

| Buffalo, NY, USA | Technology, Uncategorized

(The customer is worried that her internet account is being hacked because she doesn’t have the proper login to see her billing information.)

Caller: “You need to help me!”

Me: “What seems to be the problem?”

Caller: “My account is being hacked!”

Me: “How do you know that you’re being hacked?”

Caller: “I can’t see my billing information.”

Me: “I’m sorry about that. You may not have the administrative logins. Let me get them for you.”

(I pull up the woman’s account.)

Me: “Your username is *** and your password is ***. Please try to log in and let me know if you can see your billing information.”

Caller: “You’re the hacker!”

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t understand.”

Caller: “How could you know my information if you aren’t the hacker! That is my private information that only I can have access to and you can see it!”

Me: “I’m sorry that you feel that way, but I am not a hacker. I am here to help you.”

Caller: “I will report you to the FBI! Now I need to change my password. How do I do that?”

Me: “Would you like me to do that for you?”

Caller: “Yes.”

Related:
Some Computer Owners Just Can’t Hack It

Who Is The Dumbest Of Them All

| Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Bizarre, Uncategorized

Customer: “Are these mirrors weird?”

Me: “What do you mean?”

Customer: “These mirrors, are they weird?”

Me: “Not to my knowledge.”

Customer: *looks in mirror* “But that’s not me!”

Out Of Tune With The Conversation

| Louisville, KY, USA | Family & Kids, Musical Mayhem, Uncategorized

(I’ve worked at this camp on and off for a few years, and a lot of the kids remember me from previous years.)

Kid #1: “Why weren’t you here last year?”

Me: “This camp and band camp were at the same time, so I chose to go to band camp since it was the last time I’d be with my friends.”

Kid #1: “That’s so cool! What do you play?”

Me: “Clarinet in band, but I also play piano.”

Kid #1: “I play piano too!”

(We continue talking about different instruments we play when another girl joins in.)

Kid #2: “I play an instrument, too.”

Me: “Really? Do you play piano too, or something?”

Kid #2: “Well, I listen to Taylor Swift. Does that count?”

A Heated Topic, Part 2

| Kinnelon, NJ, USA | Family & Kids, Movies & TV, Uncategorized

(A woman and her two younger children go in to see a kid-friendly movie. Ten minutes later she comes up to me.)

Customer: “Excuse me, but there is a preview on right now with a man on fire!”

Me: “A man on fire? Okay, that shouldn’t be the right preview.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous. I have kids in there!”

(I check the theater.)

Me: “Ma’am, this is a preview for Fantastic Four. The man on fire is a super hero. His special ability is that he can turn into a fireball and fly around.”

Customer: “I don’t care who it is, he shouldn’t be on fire!”

Related:
A Heated Topic

Bean There, Done That

| Seattle, WA, USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words, Tourists/Travel, Uncategorized

Me: “Hello, sir, what can I get for you today?”

Customer: “I just came from Mexico. I had some good beans there. What were they? Ah, yes! Frijoles!”

Me: “Sir, frijoles is just the word for beans in Spanish.”

Customer: “No! I had special beans in Mexico and they were called frijoles! Get me frijoles!”

Me: “Sir, we only have refried beans at this deli. These are frijoles. Would you like these, or something else?”

Customer: “Frijoles! How is this so difficult to understand?”

Me: “Sir, frijoles are beans…in Spanish.”

Customer: “Then get me beans in Spanish!”