Not Worming Out Of This One

| CA, USA | Home Improvement, Pets & Animals

(I am on the phone with a customer.)

Customer: “What’s the best soil for my vegetable garden?”

Me: “[Brand] planting mix is an excellent soil for veggies. It’s all organic, and has chicken manure, kelp meal, and worm castings.”

Customer: “Worms? Like… worms?”

Me: “Earthworms, actually. Their castings… worm poop. It’s really good for the soil.”

Customer: “So the worms would be in my vegetables?”

Me: “No, it’s just their castings; they’ll be in the soil.”

Customer: “So when we eat the vegetables will there be worms?”

Me: “No… no worms, just their poop in the soil.”

Customer: “Yes, but will the worms be in our vegetables when we eat them?”

Me: “No… no worms.”

Customer: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Yes!”

Customer: “Ohhhhh kayyyyyyy.” *click!*

A Leftist Agenda

| MA, USA | Bizarre

(I am filling out a form to refill my medication. A fellow customer, here for a flu shot, sits down next to me. Note that I’m left-handed.)

Customer: “Woah! How are you doing that with your left hand?”

Me: “I’m left-handed.”

Customer: “Don’t you people like, flip around letters?”

Me: “No, can’t say I do. I think you’re thinking of dyslexia, which some left-handed people have.”

Customer: “Huh…”

(The customer notices that I’m writing with a gel pen.)

Customer: “Wait… you people can’t use gel pens! How do you write with that?”

Me: “Carefully.”

Customer: “What would happen if you used your right hand? Would it, like, work?”

Me: “Well, for most of us, no. My left hand is like your right hand, and my right hand is like your left hand. You could probably use your left hand if you had to, but it’s not ideal. The same goes for me with my right hand.”

Customer: “That’s so weird! I’ve never seen anything like this!”

The Mother Should Be Booked

| Edmonton, AB, Canada | Books & Reading, Family & Kids, Top

(I am in high school, and earn money by paging in a library in a low-income area. Pages do the ‘grunt work’ of a library—mostly putting away books and cleaning up after people. I spend a lot of time in the children’s section, and talk a lot with the kids.)

Seven-Year-Old Girl: *showing me a picture book* “This book is really cool!”

Me: “Is it? What’s it about?”

Seven-Year-Old Girl: “It has dragons, and horses, and a bad guy, and fighting!”

Me: “Wow, that sounds like a pretty good book. Are you going to check it out and take it home to read?”

Seven-Year-Old Girl: “No, I can’t.”

Me: “Why not?”

Seven-Year-Old Girl: “My mommy can’t read, and she says that she doesn’t want us to read. She says that books are dumb!”