Some Days Just Aren’t Worthy

| Las Vegas, NV, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you for calling [store] uniforms. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Hi, I have a couple of questions. First off, do you guys sell uniforms?”

Me: “Yes, we do.”

Caller: “Okay, great, now my second question is, are you guys open?”

Me: “Yes, we are open all week.”

Caller: “So, you’re closed on Sundays?”

Me: “No, we are open all 7 days.”

Caller: “But you just said you’re open all week.”

Me: “Yes, hence the seven days.”

Caller: “Hey, don’t get smart with me! There are only 5 days in the week and 2 days in the weekend!”

Me: *confused* “No, there are 7 days in a week and we are open all seven days.”

Caller: “I want to speak to your manager now!”

Me: “Okay, please hold and I’ll transfer you.”

Manager: “Hello, [manager] speaking, how can I help you?”

Caller: “Do you people just hire the most stupid people on the planet?”

Friends In Unusual Places

| New Zealand | Crazy Requests, Top

Me: “How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I’m looking for a parcel.”

Me: “May I have your tracking number, please?”

Customer: “My what?”

Me: “Your tracking number. All of our parcels have tracking numbers which the sender can give you if you do not have it.”

Customer: “Why don’t you have it?”

Me: “Because I didn’t send you the parcel.”

Customer: “So, who did then?”

Me: “Sir, do you not know who sent you the item?”

Customer: “No, but my neighbor just had something delivered and I want one too. So send me something now!”

(The caller then muffles the phone and I can hear what sounds like sobs.)

Me: “Sir, are you okay?”

Customer: “I’m so lonely and I just wanted to get a present!” *more sobbing*

Customer: “I’m so lonely!”

Me: *speechless*

Customer: “Never mind, I’ll go now…”

Me: “Sir…wait. We do have a parcel for you. I just need to confirm your address to send it to you. It will be there this afternoon!”

(After he gives me his address, I have a quick whip around the call center and we get a card signed by the team, put in a few chocolate bars with other happy bits and pieces, and send it to him. He calls the next day and thanks us all. Now, he rings once a week on average, and we are all happy to chat with him.)

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They Swim Upriver To Mate

| Phoenix, AZ, USA | Tourists/Travel

Customer: “I would like to schedule a Grand Canyon white water rafting and whale watching trip, please.”

Me: “So you’d like a tour to go to the Grand Canyon and then a tour to the ocean for whale watching?”

Customer: “No, I want to see the whales at the Grand Canyon!”

Fertility Is A Contest

| Ontario, Canada | At The Checkout

(My coworker and I are talking in our tills since it’s a slow night when a woman walks up.)

Customer: “I have eggs. A lot of eggs.” *walks away*

Coworker: “Uh, that’s great?”

Supervisor: “Sorry, girls, she runs a baking charity. I believe she’s picking up 16 dozen eggs today.”

Not The Usual Third Wheel

| Rochester, NY, USA | Uncategorized

(I am the only girl on a team of 5-6 working in a computer repair store. There are always a few “regulars” that came in to seek help from me.)

Me: “How can I help you today, sir?”

Customer: “Yes.” *pause* “It’s my computer…”

Me: “Okay, what’s wrong?”

Customer: “Um, actually I was wondering if you would like to go get dinner or coffee or something sometime?”

Me: “Sir, I am married. Now, what is wrong with your computer?”

Customer: “So?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “What does being married have to do with going out?”

Me: “Um…”

Customer: “Oh, okay, fine! He can come too!”

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