Getting Shorted

| Miami, FL, USA | Top

(At our store, we sell individual tea bags for fifty cents each. Free hot tap water and a foam cup come with each bag sold. One customer, a man in his thirties, has been coming in and buying a single bag of tea every Sunday for two years, but he never takes the water or the cup.)

Customer: “I’d like a refund of $50 please.”

Me: “We don’t sell anything that expensive.”

Customer: “Well, I bought 100 of those herbal mixes and they haven’t done a d*** thing.”

Me: “You mean the tea you buy every week?”

Customer: “No, the herbal mixes in the little yellow packets.”

Me: “Yes, that’s tea.”

Customer: “You mean it won’t make my man parts larger?”

Me: “No, it’s a beverage.”

Customer: “Oh. Never mind, then.”

(He leaves, disappointed. I never saw him again.)

Close Encounters Of The Eighth Kind

| Michigan, USA | Uncategorized

(I am working in the box office on a slow afternoon. A customer comes in and stares at the board for few minutes.)

Customer: “What is the difference between Super 8 and Super 8-D?”

Me: “The ‘D’ means those showtimes are digital instead of 35mm.”

Customer: “Oh, I thought maybe it was in eight dimensions.”

(Not So) Smooth Counterfeiting

| Chicago, IL, USA | Criminal & Illegal

(I am ringing up a customer when he hands me a 100 dollar bill.)

Me: “Alright, I just need to check it really quick.”

(I hold the bill up to the light.)

Customer: “It’s okay. I just printed it.”

Virtually Clueless

| Columbia, MO, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Do you carry these tires in a whitewall?”

Me: “No, we don’t. You might have more luck if you check our website, sir. It’s [website].”

Customer: “So, where’s that at? Is it…here?”

Doing Favors On Your Knees

| Saskatchewan, Canada | Religion

(I am on my knees cleaning up a display that has very low shelves.)

Customer: *whispering* “Make sure you say some for me while you’re down there.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Well, I just thought since you were on your knees you must be praying. I could use some prayers.”

Me: “I’m just cleaning the bottom shelf.”

Customer: “Well, can you say one for me while you’re down there?”

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