Weighs On Your Conscience And Your Scale

| Baton Rouge, LA, USA | Food & Drink

(Since it’s my first day, I’m shadowing another employee at the cash register, putting in every order she takes from the customer. An hour in, a woman in her 40s and her husband come in. Note our sugar-free items are advertised as “guilt-free.” )

Coworker: “Good afternoon and welcome to [coffee shop]! What can we make for you today?”

Customer: “Yes I’d like a guilt-free sugar cookie latte and [frozen coffee] with guilt-free vanilla syrup.”

Coworker: *repeating order for my benefit* “So, that’s a sugar-free sugar cookie latte and frozen coffee with sugar free vanilla?”

Customer: *frowning* “No, a guilt-free latte and a guilt-free frozen coffee!”

Coworker: “Yes, ma’am, a sugar-free latte and frozen coffee. Will that be all?

Customer: “No! No! No! It’s GUILT-FREE! Turn around and read your menu board! GUILT. FREE.”

(At this point I’m scared and just tell the coworker to use the term so she’ll go away.)

Coworker: “Sorry, that’s a guilt-free latte and a frozen coffee with guilt-free vanilla syrup, yes?”

Customer: “YES! Finally!”

(I ring her up and charge her card. Her husband comes to the counter to place his own order.)

Customer’s husband: “I just want a hot chocolate, young lady.”

Customer, to her husband: “You’re fat! Get it GUILT-free!” *smacks him with her purse*

Inexorably Inconsiderate

, | Guelph, ON, Canada | Uncategorized

(The customer is four cents short for his order.)

Customer, to friend: “Hey man, do you have a nickel or something?”

Friend: “Yeah man, here.”

Customer: “No, that’s okay. I’ll just get some out of here.”

(He reaches into the tip jar.)

Customer: “Can I just take out four cents from in here?”

Me: “Um, no. That’s actually our tip jar–”

Customer: “Too late. It’s happening.”

Me: *speechless*

Similar Tool, Different Outcome

| Minneapolis, MN, USA | Rude & Risque

(I am working at an Arts and Crafts store. I am talking to a coworker when I see an older woman come up to the counter.)

Me: “Hi, can I help you find something?”

Customer: “Yes, do you have anything I can use to shave balls? ”

(There is an awkward silence between the customer and I while I process what she is asking her. Finally, she chimes in, elaborating.)

Customer: “Off of sweaters?”

(I realize that she is talking about a device to remove sweater pills, the little fuzzy dots that sometimes appear after washing.)

Me: “Oh! This way please.”

(I take her over to the yarn section and help her find what she is looking for. I walk back over to my coworker.)

Me: “Is it just me or did it sound like she was asking for–”

Coworker: “Yeah, it definitely did!”

Keep That Style To Yourself

, | Stockton, CA, USA | Food & Drink, Rude & Risque

(I take orders at a fast food restaurant. We have a secret menu with special type of fry we call “animal style”, which is pretty popular. A customer walks up.)

Me: “Hi, how are you doing today? How may I help you?”

Customer: “I have heard about this secret style french fry you guys make. Could I have one order of french fries, doggy style, please?”

Me: “Um…do you mean animal style fries?”

Customer: *turning red* “Yeah, that’s what I meant.”

Related:
The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 4
The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 3
The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 2
The Horrors Of Mispronunciation

What Difference Does It Make

| California, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “What movies do you NOT have?”

Me: “Sorry, what did you say?”

Customer: “I said, what movies don’t you have?”

Me: “Well we have a sign up that advertises the moves that we DO have. If it isn’t on that sign, then we don’t have the movie.”

Customer: “You really ought to put up a sign that lists the movies that you don’t have.”

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