The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 7

| United Kingdom | Family & Kids

(I hand out a vocabulary list to a class of 8-9 year olds.)

Me: “Does anyone know any of the words?”

Student: “I know what twilight means!”

Me: “Go on, tell us what you think it means.”

Student: “Actually, I’m not completely sure, but it’s got something to do with vampires…”

Related:
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 6
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 5
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 4
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 3
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 2
The Twilight Of Our Literacy

Accessories Are Contagious

| Philadelphia, PA, USA | Rude & Risque

(This happens just after a customer finishes purchasing a phone and is asking what accessories it comes with.)

Customer: “So this comes with an STD card, right?”

Me: “An SD card?”

Customer: *realizing what she said* “OH! I meant an SD card! Oh my God!”

Simple Menus Vs. The Simple-Minded

, | Australia | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(Our shop has a very basic menu of chicken burgers, chips, and chicken pieces.)

Me: “Hi, how are you today?”

Customer: “I don’t know what this is…”

(The customer stares blankly at the menu for about 10 seconds.)

Customer: “No. No! I don’t know what any of this is!” *walks away*

Me: *speechless*

Honesty In A Modern Age, Part 2

| USA | Uncategorized

Caller: “I know this app is new, but I just can’t figure out why you would release something that clearly doesn’t work!”

Me: “Hmm…everything looks okay on our end with your registration and activation.”

Caller:Something is wrong because this just doesn’t work! I can’t believe it!”

Me: “Well, sir, I’m not sure what else to try. Are you sure you’re in a Wi-Fi hotspot?”

(There’s a long pause.)

Caller: *starts laughing* “You aren’t going to believe this. I’m the Chief Technical Officer for my company and I’m still in airplane mode.”

Me: “So you’ve turned your Wi-Fi back on then?”

Caller: “Yeah. I feel kind of dumb right now.” *pauses* “Please don’t tell anyone.”

Me: *laughing* “My lips are sealed, sir.”

Related:
Honesty In A Modern Age

Of Freudian Slips & Lesbian Lips

, | Sydney, Australia | Uncategorized

(I’ve just had my first yoga class with a friend of mine, who is a regular at this school. We’ve just stepped out into the reception area.)

Female instructor: “So, how did you go with your first class?”

Me: “It went really well, thanks! It certainly makes you sweat that’s for sure!”

Female instructor: “Just be sure to drink lots of women.”

(My friend and I start laughing hilariously.)

Female instructor: “Water! I mean water! I can’t believe I said that!”

Also seen on: Not Always Romantic

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