Obviously, She Needs Food For Thought

| North Brunswick, NJ, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Top

(A truck flips over down the street and takes out a power line, knocking out the power to our restaurant. We are all getting ready to start cleaning up and calling it an early day until a customer walks in. Note that all the lights are off.)

Customer: “I tried calling to place an order and you guys didn’t answer the phone!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Our power is out, so our phones don’t work.”

Customer: “Well, that’s okay. Can I just order a chicken lori dinner?”

Me: “Well, I’m afraid that’s not possible at the moment. We have no electricity in the kitchen and there aren’t any windows back there. Plus, our ovens and grilles have electric starters.”

Customer: “You guys are open though, correct?”

Me: “Only for a little while longer while we clean up.”

Customer: “Well, then, can you at least make me a pizza?”

Me: “I don’t think you really understand. We lost power. We can’t cook anything right now.”

Customer: “Ugh, what kind of pizza place is this? Can I at least have one of the slices on the counter?”

Me: “Sure, we can do that.”

(I pick her slices out and start putting them in a box.)

Customer: “You aren’t even going to heat them up or anything?”

Me: “Ma’am, I honestly don’t know how much clearer I can make this. The power is out. Anything that uses electricity is currently not working. Our stoves cannot be started.”

Customer: “Fine! Forget it. I’m never coming back here again. You people are useless!”

Like My Antiques, I Need Love Too

, | St. Louis, MO, USA | Rude & Risque

(We rent out individual spaces to people. A new dealer has just moved in and is about to leave the store. Note that she is about 70 years old and I am 30.)

Dealer: “Okay, I guess you have to inspect my bags before I leave.”

Me: “Yeah, we do.”

(It looks like a bunch of moving supplies and paper.)

Dealer: “Are you going to frisk me?”

Me: “Pardon?”

Dealer: “Well, it says you check everything at the door. I figured you’d check me too.”

Me: “Ma’am, we check your bags and boxes, but not you. I’m not going to frisk you, as that is inappropriate.”

Dealer: “Well, it’s been a while for me, dear. You can feel what you want.”

Me: “I’d like to keep my job without a sexual harassment complaint on the record. We’ll just see you next time.”

Dealer: “Oh, come on! It’s been so long!”

(Her 80 year-old husband is standing there laughing the entire time.)

More Than You Bargained For

| Pearsall, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

(A customer purchases some items at the checkout. While walking out, he sees a sign that one of his items is on sale.)

Customer: “Excuse me, this sign says this glue is for $4.99, but the shelf says $5.99.”

Me: *looks at receipt* “Well sir, I charged you $4.99.”

Customer: “But the shelf said $5.99.”

Me: “But I charged you $4.99.”

Customer: “But the shelf said $5.99.”

Me: “Okay, give me another dollar.”

(The customer thinks for a second, then walks out of the store without saying another word.)

Thorry Potter & The Norsely Hallows

| Charlottesville, VA, USA | Movies & TV

Me: “Hi, can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I’m looking for this movie and I was wondering if you are playing it.”

Me: “Sure! Whats the name of the movie you’re looking for?”

Customer: “It’s that one about Thor. I don’t remember what it’s called.”

Me: “Oh, you mean Thor?”

Customer: “No, I really don’t think that was it…”

Facebook Page Book Giveaway: Week 3

| Facebook | Uncategorized

As part of our ongoing Facebook page launch celebration, we’ll be giving away a total of 10 copies of the official Not Always Right book.

To enter into our weekly drawing, simply like our Facebook page and you’ll automatically be entered. Two winners will be announced each week on our site, FB, and Twitter.

The winners of this week’s Facebook Page Book Giveaway are Mia and James — congratulations! They’ll each receive a free copy of our book via Amazon. Mia and James — a Not Always Right staff member will be contacting you soon via Facebook so you can receive your book.

If you didn’t win this time, don’t worry — you still have two more chances. Just like our Facebook page today to enter!

PS – if you liked our page before the announcement of this contest, you’re already qualified — anyone who likes our page will automatically be entered!

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