(At our cafe, the chefs occasionally put out a plate of food in the kitchen for everyone to nibble on when they have a moment of spare time. The chefs had put out a bowl of chips. Having a 10 second rest, I grab one chip. There happens to be a customer in front of the counter and he looks at me knowingly.)
Customer: “Calories.” *walks off*
(I work at a hotel that serves free breakfast to its guests. I’m setting it up when this encounter happens.)
Guest: “I just heard you cough back there!”
Me: “Yeah, it’s just a small cough. I’m just getting over a cold.”
Guest: “I’m going to report you to the board of health!”
Me: “For coughing?”
Guest: “Yes, for coughing! You’re serving food and I know you’re coughing all over it! I can see the germs crawling all over the food!”
Me: “I can assure you, ma’am, I’m not coughing on the food. I wouldn’t want to eat coughed on food so I wouldn’t serve it.”
Guest: “I know how you hotel people are! You want all the guests to get sick so they’ll leave and you can sit on your lazy asses all day!”
Me: “Ma’am, if no one showed up to the hotel I wouldn’t have a job. I assure you I didn’t cough on the food.”
(Suddenly, the guest changes her tone and attitude as if nothing had happened.)
Guest: “Well, if I were you, I would. Some people are so rude. They think they can just barge in and walk all over girls like you, making ridiculous accusations and get away with it. Bless your soul for being such a moral girl.”
Guest: “You have a wonderful day! Thanks for setting breakfast up for us early risers.”
Me: “Photo and Media department, this is Kat. How can I help you?”
Caller: “Oh, yes…Hi, Jennifer. I was wondering if you had a certain item in stock…”
Say My Name, (Don’t) Say My Name
(We have a store credit card which you can pay at any register. I am working in customer service and an older lady approaches.)
Me: “How may I help you today?”
Customer: *shoves her bill towards me* “I just want to pay this ALL off! I told my daughter, I don’t want to owe anything! I just HATE to owe!”
Me: “No problem, ma’am. Let me just process this payment for you.”
Customer: *writing a check* “Yes, I just can’t OWE all this money. I don’t like it!”
Me: “Well, here we go. It’s all taken care of! Now you don’t owe anything.”
Customer: “I forgot to ask. Can I purchase a gift card here?”
Me: “Certainly. I can help you with that!” *starts to ring up gift card*
Customer: “Now, can I put that on my [store] card?”
Okay, the Zombie Apocalypse isn’t really upon us—but it’s hard to think of anything worse, right?
What’s that, you say? Ah, yes, of course—dealing with customers can be much worse!
How much worse? Well, we at Not Always Right are excited to announce our brand-new, upcoming series of customer-related comics. The first is titled, “Reasons Why Dealing With Customers Is Worse Than A Zombie Apocalypse“, and below is a sneak preview of one reason:
We hope you’ve enjoyed this preview. Check back again next Saturday (January 21), when we reveal another portion of our comic!
PS – we’ll be revealing the entire comic on Monday, January 30!