Barking Up The Wrong Family Tree

| Calgary, AB, Canada | Right | June 19, 2013

(Note: I am a teenager.)

Me: “Hey, what can I help you with today?”

Customer: “I have these gift cards, and I would like to exchange them for cash.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I cant do that. It’s store policy, as gift cards have no monetary value.”

(People are starting to line up behind the customer, and they are starting to get noticeably agitated, having to wait.)

Customer: “Excuse me, do you have any idea who you’re speaking to?”

Me: “Not even a clue.”

Customer: “My father owns this store! Now give me my money, or I’ll have you fired!”

(The owner of the store is in the back, so I call him out.)

Me: “Boss, your daughter’s here to see you!”

Boss: “Daughter? I don’t have a daughter.”

(The customer’s face is growing red, and the people behind her start to laugh. I can tell she wants to run away, but she’s in too deep. My boss comes to the front to see what’s going on. My boss is an Indian man in his 60’s.)

Boss: “What are you talking about?”

Me: “This lady right here.”

(The white customer in her early 20s dips her head, and runs out of the store.)

Boss: “Maybe she forgot where her dad’s store is?”

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Tame Your Customers

| Right | June 19, 2013

dumb customer true stories (I)

Retail Associate: The Truth

| Right | June 19, 2013

frabz-Retail-Associate-What-our-friends-think-we-do-What-our-parents-t-df1064

He Wants Coffee As Dense As He Is

| NY, USA | Right | June 18, 2013

Me: “Here is your coffee, sir.”

Customer: “Oh, could you add more milk to that?”

Me: “Sure.”

(Since the coffee cup is already full, I walk over to the sink to pour a little out before adding more milk.)

Customer: “Stop that! I didn’t say to pour any out!”

Me: “Sir, the cup was full. In order to add more milk, I have to pour a little coffee out.”

Customer: “You should obey what your customers tell you!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but sometimes I have to obey the laws of physics instead.”

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This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 19

| ME, USA | Right | June 18, 2013

(I am helping a customer set up service at a new address for a friend of hers. I have to collect her installation charge, first month, and a deposit upfront.)

Me: “All right, I just need the total of $123.”

(The customer hands me a $20 bill and two $10 bills.)

Customer: “There, that should cover it.”

Me: “Oh, I only have $40 here, ma’am. I need $123.”

Customer: “Yep, it should all be there!”

Me: “I’m sorry; there’s not enough here yet.”

(The customer digs into her pocket, and hands me some more cash.)

Me: “Thank you. That’s only $3 more though. I still need $80.”

Customer: *grunts* “All right, fine, but now I’m giving you my money!

Me: “Thank you, but now I still only have $46. I still need $77 more.”

Customer: “Okay, give me all the money back.”

(I hand the customer the money back, and she takes out a wad of cash. She pulls out three $20 bills, and hands them to me.)

Customer: “There! Should have it all now!”

(The customer is beaming with pride at finding what she thinks is the right amount.)

Me: “You know, I think we can just bill you for the rest of it.”

Customer: “Gah! Give the money back again!”

(I hand the money back, and the customer searches around for a moment, and hands me a $100 bill.)

Me: “Great! I just need $23 more.”

(The customer hands me a $20 bill, and then stares at me.)

Me: “Good, just another $3.”

(The customer hands me three $1 bills again.)

Me: “Perfect! Here’s your receipt; we’ll see you on Friday!”

(The customer left, and I searched the office for hidden cameras.)

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 18
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 17
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 16
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 15
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 14
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 13
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 12

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