Adventures In Retail: Coupons!

| Right | November 19, 2013

Not Part Of The 99 Per Cent

| Glendale, AZ, USA | Right | November 19, 2013

(I’m currently working the front checkout and a man walks up to purchase his items, I scan all the items and bag them.)

Me: “That will be $19.86.”

Customer: “That’s way too much. You must have scanned it wrong.”

Me: “No, everything is there.”

(I then show him the screen so he can see.)

Customer: “That can’t be right. If that is $5.00, and that is $3.00—”

Me: “But it isn’t. They are $5.99 and $3.99—”

Customer: “Hold on! Let me show you.”

(The customer gets a pen and paper from my checkout and starts adding it up.)

Customer: “See, $5.00 plus $3.00 plus $7.00 equals $15.00. It’s showing up wrong.”

Me: “But it is $5.99, $3.99 and $7.99. It makes a difference.”

(By now, several other customers are waiting, so I pull out a calculator to show him.)

Me: “$5.99 plus $3.99 plus $7.99 plus sales tax comes out to $19.86.”

Customer: “Well, you NEVER mentioned SALES TAX!”

(The customer pays for the items and leaves. I begin helping the next customer in line.)

Next Customer: “Well, that was dumb.”

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This Movie Is The Bee’s Knees

| IL, USA | Right | November 19, 2013

(Our library has a new program where we showcase an artist’s work in our park next door. The first choice of art was a giant head made of discarded wood. After it was replaced, I have this conversation with a maintenance page.)

Page: “I like the new sculpture much better. The giant head was a bit weird.”

Me: “Yeah, it reminded me of The Wicker Man.”

Page: “What’s that?”

Me: “It’s a horror movie. The newer one has Nicolas Cage—”

(Suddenly, a library patron nearby begins shouting.)

Patron: “Not the bees! NOT THE BEES!”

Page: “I have got to see this movie.”

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Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 5

| USA | Right | November 19, 2013

(I’m a pharmacist, and one day at work, a young woman comes up to the counter to pick up a script. I notice she is wearing one of those insertable birth control rings around her wrist.)

Me: “Ma’am, you know that’s not how those work, right?”

Customer: “Huh?”

Me: “Your birth control ring. Those are meant to be worn… you know… internally.”

Customer: “Oh, shoot, really? I… I didn’t know that. Excuse me.”

(She walks away and returns with a pregnancy test, clearly worried and very embarrassed.)

Customer: “I guess I’ll be needing this, too.”

 

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Acting Hypertext

| Denver, CO, USA | Right | November 19, 2013

(I take escalated calls for a major cell phone provider.)

Caller: “My son received a text from a wrong number, so I had his number changed. The lady I was speaking to waived the $15 fee, but we had to program the new number in, so I want a $50 credit.”

(Note: it was one text asking for class notes, sent to the wrong number.)

Me: “I apologize that you received a text from a wrong number, and I’m glad we could help, but we can’t give a credit for programming a phone.”

Caller: *high-pitched, unintelligible, wordless shrieking*

Me: “Ma’am, please stop yelling at me.”

Caller: *shrieking doubles in volume*

Me: “Ma’am, this is solving nothing.”

Caller: *starts growling*

Me: “Ma’am, I’m going to disconnect this call of you keep treating me this way. I don’t appreciate being yelled at.”

Caller: *calmly* “I’d like to speak to your supervisor.”

(Later…)

Supervisor: “Thanks for that call. I had to hang up on her. That was fun!”

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