Virtually Clueless

| Columbia, MO, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Do you carry these tires in a whitewall?”

Me: “No, we don’t. You might have more luck if you check our website, sir. It’s [website].”

Customer: “So, where’s that at? Is it…here?”

Doing Favors On Your Knees

| Saskatchewan, Canada | Religion

(I am on my knees cleaning up a display that has very low shelves.)

Customer: *whispering* “Make sure you say some for me while you’re down there.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Well, I just thought since you were on your knees you must be praying. I could use some prayers.”

Me: “I’m just cleaning the bottom shelf.”

Customer: “Well, can you say one for me while you’re down there?”

Urgent: Facebook Group To Be Archived

| Facebook | Uncategorized

Are you a fan of our Facebook Group? If so, you’re likely aware that Facebook is archiving the Group. This means that all 40,000+ members will be removed soon.

We are NOT happy with this, but Facebook is forcing all Groups with over 5,000 members to archive. While the original posts and threads will remain, all members will be removed. This essentially closes the Group.

However, there is some good news: we’ve just launched the official Not Always Right Facebook Page, and we’d like to invite you to “like” us!

Here’s why you should “like” us on Facebook today:

  • Share your funny/bad customer experiences with people just like you who have experienced the same things
  • Read and watch funny/bad customer news and videos from around the world, daily
  • Be informed of official Not Always Right announcements
  • Get in early and help shape the new Page

PS — We can’t do this alone, so help us spread the word by suggesting our Page to your friends, coworkers, and any other fans of Not Always Right. Thanks!

PS #2 — Want a chance to win a free copy of the Not Always Right book? We’ll be announcing a contest soon to celebrate the launch of the new Page. Stay tuned!

Warning: IQ May Be Inversely Proportional To Wavelength

| Milan, Italy | Uncategorized

Guest: “Do you have a macrowave?”

Me: “You mean a microwave? It’s at the–”

Guest: “I don’t like your microwave. I need a macrowave.”

Me: “There’s no such thing as a macrowave.”

Guest: “Well, your microwave isn’t heating my food fast enough. I want a macrowave instead!”

Me: “Sorry, but it’s a standard microwave. Perhaps you can check if you have it on a low setting?”

Guest: “What?”

Me: “There’s should a dial going from from low to high under the timer dial.”

Guest: “It’s on low.”

Me: “Change it to high.”

Guest: “So, it’s macrowaves now?”

Me: “No, but your food will now heat faster.”

Guest: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Yes. Ring us again if there’s a problem.”

My Tin Foil Hat Must Be Broken

| Danville, VA, USA | Uncategorized

(I am helping a woman out with her cellphone. The internet isn’t working properly.)

Me: “I see the problem. Data wasn’t enabled in the settings.”

Customer: “Oh, so it wasn’t Al Qaeda stealing my signal?”

Me: “Haha, no, ma’am.”

Customer: “They’re everywhere, you know!”

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