Canada: America’s Hat, Part 2

| Nova Scotia, Canada | Canada, Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel

(The majority of the customers coming into this shop are from off of the cruise ships and mainly American.)

Me: “Is there anything I can help you with today, ma’am?”

Customer: “Um, yes…could you tell me where I am?”

Me: “Yup, you’re in Canada.”

Customer: “And where is Canada?”

Me: “Um, well, if you look at a map, it’s that large country on top of your country.”

Customer: “Oh.”

(She looks baffled by this new piece of information and slowly turns around and walks away.)

Related:
Canada: America’s Hat

Family Loosely Interpreted

| Newburgh, IN, USA | Family & Kids

(I work in the video game section of a large retail store. I overhear this couple talking about our selection of video games.)

Woman: “Why do they sell Grand Theft Auto? This is supposed to be a family friendly store!”

Husband: “They are family friendly. Some families just have teenagers that like to pretend to steal cars and punch people.”

Through Ickiness And In Health

| East Lansing, MI, USA | Family & Kids

(I answer a lot of calls from parents concerned about the living arrangements in our dorm rooms.)

Parent: “So, what’s the deal with co-ed floors?”

Me: “Well, most of our floors are co-ed by wing, but a few are co-ed by suite, where one suite is all boys, and next door is all girls. Your student will never have to share a room or bathroom with the opposite gender.”

Parent: “Why would anyone want to do that?”

Me: “Well, some people find that living with the opposite gender is fun.”

Parent: “Yeah, but I mean, boys are icky!”

Me: *speechless*

Parent: “Don’t get me wrong. I’ve lived with my husband for 20 years, but…eww!”

Water You, Stupid, Part 3

| Greenburg, NY, USA | Extra Stupid

(Every year, there is one day in July where the pool lets everyone in, even if they don’t have a membership. I’m lifeguarding at the diving boards.)

Woman: “Excuse me, lifeguard. How deep is this pool?”

Me: “The diving tank is 13 and a half feet deep.”

(She looks at the water for a few seconds.)

Woman: “So, how does it work? Do you jump in and then, when you’re at the bottom, you just float back up?”

Me: “Um, no, you have to swim.”

Woman: “Oh, then this isn’t for me.”

(She walks away and tells her family the news. They leave disappointed.)

Related:
Water You, Stupid, Part 2
Water You, Stupid

It’s Nice To Be Relatively Infestation-Free

| Nova Scotia, Canada | Uncategorized

(I am talking with a customer that is also my neighbor. I am ringing in about the ants that have been getting into our houses.)

Customer: “Those darn ants are everywhere this time of year!”

Me: “Yeah, we’ve had a lot of trouble keeping them out these days. I don’t know what to try next!”

Next customer: “You know what works? Ant-Be-Gone. I used it once, and my wife’s Aunt hasn’t come around for years!”

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